The Wedding Saga
by SeteEntediados
Summary: PART 2 OF THE "SAGA BERRY-LOPEZ AND FABRAY". Rachel is a rising star, Santana is just Santana, and Quinn is struggling to survive her relationship with a very busy diva. Faberry. Santana/OC. Pezberry!Sisters
1. Chapter 1

**This story takes place one year after the events that ended the first saga. **

**Quinn and Rachel continue their relationship away from the media's eyes. Rachel spent a busy year recording HBO's Slings and Arrows, which was a critical success with good ratings, and at Broadway. The play by David Bowie was a fiasco, but Rachel is already involved in another off-Broadway play and she's happy with the new team. Quinn is still working at Bad Things and studying cinema at NYU. Their busy life made the relationship grow cold and distant, but the girls remain together. **

**Santana had a complicated year with pressures coming from Weiz, Rock'n'Pano and college. So she decided to briefly quit college in Columbia and made a deal with Mr. Weiz to take a sabbatical year. She spent her time just taking care of her own business and traveling around. In the coming year, Santana is back to college and decided to do something about her love life. Maybe Johnny will finally have his chance.**

**THE OPEN NIGHT**

(Quinn)

Here we go again for another Rachel's open night on Broadway. This time my girl was at the charming and beautiful Public Theater. After the last fiasco with Bowie's play, my girl found out another job apart the TV show, and now she's playing "Starter For 10", based on David Nicholls' novel. It's not a musical, but Rachel sings one song. It was a great time for my girl.

Her family was also here.

Juan Lopez and Shelby Corcoran-Lopez arrived early in the morning to honor their daughter. They were hosted (as always) in a small hotel in Soho. Unfortunately my daughter didn't come: Beth Corcoran-Lopez stayed in Lima with "uncle" Maria, Juan's sister. Shelby, like a good mother (sometimes I hated to admit it), left Beth in a good place with someone really responsible. But I was dying to see my daughter: I only saw her once last year in the summer. Unfortunately I can barely pay the rent with my salary as intern. It's a miracle that Santiago and I manage to do grocery shop every month. Even so, I tried to always say hello and send small gifts for my daughter by Rachel or her complicated twin: Santana Berry-Lopez.

Santana had a weird year. She had a breakdown and decided to take a sabbatical year, or something like that because she's still working on Rock'n'Pano. But she took some money from her grand's and traveled to places like Brazil, South Africa and spent a month in Europe, visiting five countries. I wish I could take a sabbatical year like that. Anyway, now she's back and ready to start college and everything again. Good for her.

Besides Rachel's parents and sister, she invited Mike, who wasn't getting an easy life in Los Angeles, always working on small roles and commercials. When Rachel called him for the open night, Mike didn't think twice and took a plane straight to New York. Johnny, Rom Tyler and Luis Segal. I love Johnny, Luis Segal isn't that bad, but I hate hate hate Rom Tyler. And I hate that Rachel and him were BFFs now.

Like Mike, Rom came to New York especially for prestige Rachel at her open night, and yes, that was a beautiful way to feed the rumors. Rachel sworn with her hands in the Bible and the Torah, that they are just friends, and I believe in her. I just don't trust on him. But I have to thank the gossip press: the rumors about their relationship kind of protect ours, and Rachel's career is safe for now. Not that be in the closet nowadays matter that much, but it's fact that open lesbians actress have a more barriers in Hollywood than open gay actors.

Unlike other experiences in Rachel's plays, I didn't know anything that involves "Starter For 10". The only thing I knew about was what Rachel told me. I didn't watch any rehearsal, I didn't know personally the crew, most of the cast, nor the theater staff, so it was a new experience for me. Before, in the earlier years, I was part of the team and simply circulated in the theater as I pleased, and I could have sex with Rachel in the backstage and in her dressing room. This time was different. Everything was different. There I was, Quinn Fabray, sitting in the third row seat in between my best friend and Rachel's mother, eagerly awaiting the play begins: one that I had no idea what to expect.

"I'm nervous." I said to Mike.

Shelby looked at me with some suspicion. She was never the most friendly person to me, perhaps because of Beth. Shelby was, yes, very polite and honest. So honest that she let me know how much she doesn't trust on me after the mistake I made cheating on Rachel with Monica more than a year ago and other small reasons. Funny thing: Monica and I are good co-workers. Not that I would call and invite her to go to my place, but we worked together in two small projects last year and we did fine.

"I thought you had watched some rehearsals." Shelby said in arrogant tone. "At least that's what you used to do."

"Things have changed a bit, Shelby. Plus, your daughter didn't want to see my face in the rehearsals to keep the surprise."

"Of course my daughter also wanted to preserve her individuality."

"Is there a problem here?" Juan craned his neck and it was the same time when Santana came running to sit down at the last call, asking permission for people to shrink the legs so she came to her place between Juan and Rom Tyler.

"It's sucks to park out there." She said without the slightest subtlety while collided on our knees. "They wanted $20 to park near here. Check it out: $20! Then I parkek two blocks away and came walking."

"Looks like you ran a marathon, San." Johnny, who was next to Mike, just shout as she straightened in the chair because the amount of people between them. Despite the estrangement, I could still feel some tension between these two.

"Didn't I tell you? It's snowing!" She replied and then Rom said something to her.

The whole situation has served, at least, to avoid confront with Juan. I could argue with Shelby for ten rounds if it need be. But not with Juan. I didn't know if it was his physical size or the fact he is an austere man who always treated me with a certain detachment. I just know Juan would be able to make me head down only to look. The lights flickered and people rushed to accommodate. I held and shook Mike's hands. He looked at me and smiled.

The show was starting.

The play was really good. The pace was good for a romantic comedy. There were appropriate moments for dialogue, dramatic interpretations and great jokes. I found it interesting how they managed to put the point of view of the other characters that accompanied the main guy. Thus, Rachel was terrific. It was amazing how much she improved since "Songbook". And it's not because I'm her girlfriend, but I would rather see her doing this play than watch certain Slings and Arrows episodes. No, I don't like to see my girl naked on screen with somebody else.

The play ended under intense applause from the audience. It was a good open night for a dynamic, not very long, and good entertainment play. The main actors, including Rachel, received the flowers and we applaud even more.

There would be a reception for journalists, sponsors and special guests. Before all of it, I already knew what I should do: go straight to the backstage to greet my lady.

"Excuse me." A girl with a radio and a paper in hands reached our row after the play. "You are Rachel Berry's family and guests?" We all nodded. "She would like to see you all in the dressing room before the reception. Could you please accompany me?"

"All her guests?" I asked a little disappointed.

"I hope so."

We followed the girl from the staff and there was a confusion among actors and crew having a party and greeting each other. The girl indicated Rachel's dressing room and we all waited there. Rachel arrived after a few minutes with a huge smile. First she hugged and kissed her parents and sister, them Mike, Johnny and her friends. I was the last one, but I didn't care since she gave me a great and passionate kiss in front of everybody.

"You were amazing." I said when we break the kiss.

"Thank you." She hugged me.

Then she went to talk with others. I know there were many people pay attention to my girl, but I couldn't help of feeling a bit left aside. But I didn't want to make this a big deal. It was better to not take it so personally and I tried to understand that it was her family there, her parents. Soon Rachel was called to attended the cocktail. It was part of her job and we had to understand that, even though the will of her family was taking her to a celebratory dinner. Or to my bed, in my case.

I watched from afar my girl's behavior during the cocktail. She was always smiling, pretending to have fun with people she didn't care about. She tried to keep friends like Luis and Rom around, especially with journalists watching, photographing and everything. I wondered if this would be our life from thence forth, with Rachel in the spotlight and I'm in the shadow because I could never stand beside her as her girlfriend while Rachel is in the closet because of career in Hollywood. Thinking about it made me a depressed girl with a glass of wine in my hand and a stake with cheese in the other.

"We should be eating lamb in the Isle, so yeah." Santana complained to me, Juan and Mike. "Incidentally, we should go ahead and left Rachel behind. The only thing you can do here is get drunk and it these horrible croquettes and cheese."

"Not a bad idea." I said eating my small piece of cheese.

"Whatever, Fabray, but I'm hungry and I would love to get drunk with a delicious lamb in my stomach."

"Sabes qué, hija? Estoy contigo."

"Bueno! Voy a por el coche y te atrapó aqui frente."

"No señora. Yo voy contigo. Quinn, could you tell Shelby and your friends, if they want to go of course, we're going to dinner? Rachel is still here talking with all these people, so she can find us later."

I nodded. In fact, Juan and Santana were right. It would be hard to wait Rachel when it was clear that the only ones having fun were the guys from the play and the crew. I approached Rachel, who by that time was talking to a journalist with champagne in hand.

"Your parents, Santana, Mike and Johnny will dine in Isle."

"Are you going with them?"

"I thought I'd wait for you."

"Do not bother. You should go with them. I'm still taking some time here, but I will meet you there. Don't worry."

"Are you going alone?"

"No, Rom and Luis are with me." My blood boiled and I breathed deeply. "Do not start, Quinn Fabray. Not here. Rom came from Los Angeles to honor me and I will not scold my friend for his sake."

"You know better, Rachel."

My desire was to make a scene. But no. I swallow everything again. I swallow the anger and the urge to cry. I just turned my back to her and looked for some friend. Shelby saw the scene from distance and waved to me, asking me to join with them. That's what I did. We wait a little bit till Santana with Johnny stopped the car in front of the theater. It was snowing outside, so we quickly got in the car. Santana was driving, and Johnny gave his place in the front seat to Juan. In the backseat were Shelby, Johnny, Mike and I. The restaurant was not far. The Isle was spacious and charming place. The food was great and I learned in my life without money that we never can waste the chance to get a free meal like that. But I wasn't happy with it despite the company of people who I also considered to be my family.

"Good night. May I help you?" The receptionist said.

"Night. I booked a table. My name is Santana Berry-Lopez." Santana announced to the receptionist. "But I think there are more people than I anticipated."

"Miss Berry-Lopez… here… yes, you booked a table for six. How many people are there altogether?"

"We'll be eight."

"It won't be an issue. Just a minute, please?"

We wait just a few minutes in the restaurant hall when the receptionist call us and lead us to an appropriate number of people to the table. I believe that when Santana booked a table, she didn't count on Johnny to come. Even so, judging by the interaction of the two that night, they seemed very comfortable with each other. I hope this time they actually can be together this time.

We made our orders and Shelby began to review specific things of the play.

"Rachel has matured a lot as an actress." She concluded. "But she still need to work on her body expression. She makes some of the same tics that you clearly recognize when she plays Kate."

"Oh, don't remind me that HBO thing." Juan muttered. "Why every HBO show need to have nudity?"

"Not all of them, honey." Shelby commented. "And you don't complain about nudity when you watch Game of Thrones. Just to say one."

"Yes, but those tits weren't my daughter's." We all laughed and I must say: Juan was right in some way. He doesn't like to watch his daughter's tits (well, it would be disturbing if he does), but I love it. What I hate is that millions are also watching the same thing and the fact she's hugging and kissing some guy in the set.

"That's why Rachel was so concerned to workout her boobs… and her ass." Santana shot at the time I took a sip of my wine. It almost went through the nose. "They need to look great on screen."

"Santana!" Juan warned.

"Come on, papi. I've seen my sister naked a bazillion times and I really don't care. But it's nice to know she looks hot, or, at least, some parts of her."

Suddenly, Johnny gave a loud, belly laugh: a contagious one. Then the conversation at the restaurant table started flowing among those present. Johnny told some stories at his work. I told some stories of mine and Mike told details of a lot of gossips he heard in Hollywood. We had our orders and Santana ate lamb as she was wishing. When we were almost finishing, Rachel arrived with Rom. Ironically the presence of them broke rather tasty climate that was among of us. Maybe because Rachel arrived tipsy, leaving Juan clearly uncomfortable, more than the rest of us.

"The reception was amazing!" Rachel was dazzled. "Critics said they loved it. One said he was surprised by my performance. He thought my part needed more experienced actress, but he changed his mind when he saw my performance."

Yes, she was full of herself and I always think that is the worst side of Rachel Berry-Lopez: the huge diva side. The one who thought she was better than everyone like when she used to sing like a professional in the Glee Club for a group of teens that was just there to have a good time, including me and her sister. The same Rachel Berry-Lopez that used to fight for every single solo and called me Barbie when Mr. Schue gave me one in the Sectionals. I hated this side of her. She didn't order any food. Instead she ordered the best champagne of the house and then put her hand on my leg, caressing as it was a pet. Another sign. Of course I loved when Rachel touch me, but it was a turn off knowing she was almost drunk, full of herself, and Rom at the table with us was an anti-climax.

"I think you better take your sister home, Santana." It reached a point that Juan couldn't stand her own daughter any more. "I think we can call it a day."

"Oh no, papi. Let's stay a little longer." Of course, Rachel didn't understand the placement. "You and mom need to know all the good places to at night in New York. It is magnificent."

"I bet you know great places, Rach." Shelby finished her glass. "But your father is right. Tomorrow you need to work and we can spend some time in your apartment tomorrow. I can fix the lunch and everything before we catch the flight back to Columbus. What do you think?"

"You're right, Shelby, for once you're right." Santana said. "And I would love to try something at home that Rachel doesn't put her hands on. She makes me eat cucumber and all those bird food! Gosh!"

"You need to eat better, Santy, and take care of your gastritis."

"Yeah, my stomach burns in anger every time you try to control me."

"Girls!" Juan warned.

Juan asked for the bill and he accepted without any modesty that Rom, Mike and Johnny share the costs. It was a sort of gentleman's agreement. The boys took a taxi back home, as well as Juan and Shelby. I was at an impasse: I could sleep one night at my girlfriend's place, remain frustrated, but at her side. Or go to my place and stay frustrated, but in my room and in my bed. I chose the second option.

"I'll drive you home, Quinn. It is very dangerous you go back alone at this time." Santana made me get in the car, although the subway station was right there.

The bypass was considerable, but Santana didn't complain about driving to Washington Heights in the snow. And Rachel? Well, she closed her eyes and sleep almost as soon as she got in the car. I turned on the radio and listened some jazz.

"Don't worry." Santana pointed to the backseat where Rachel was snoring. She never snored, but her drunken state and the position not favored her. "You know she'll make a packet of apology cookies as soon as she realized how awful she behaved today, not only with you."

"You can't condemn. She lived a special day."

"Maybe." She stopped her car in front of my building. "Good night, Quinn."

"Call me when you arrived home, ok?" She nodded.

I opened the door of my apartment and the first thing I heard was the loud moan of a woman. I sighed. I had forgotten that Santiago found a girlfriend and it seemed there was a lot of fun going on in his bedroom. I took a glass of water before going to mine. I just put my earphone and listened music a little louder than usual: that's the only way I could sleep: blocking the noises. I was frustrated and hurt. I was happy for Rachel's great open night, of course. I just wished her success. But I understand that dating an actress with a rising career who could not be out of the closet is really hard. Today, more than ever, I had one more little bitter try out. I don't know if my sanity can survive all of it, but, for her and for the sake of our relationship, I will stay strong.


	2. Chapter 2

**Valentine's Day**

(Santana)

I don't know why I was going to get out of bed on Valentine's Day. Was the most pathetic day of the year that everything was rosy. Imagine a city like New York rosy? It was ridiculous, depressing, indecent. Even worse when you know what's going on in the other bedroom of the house: my sister, the one with a great imagination, was planning most perfect way to celebrate the occasion with some photographer and former cheerio blond. I closed my eyes. Hell, I need to buy better curtains to my room. The one I had doesn't properly block the sunlight. I covered my head with the blanket and closed my eyes trying to sleep again. I almost cried when I heard the knocking on my bedroom door.

"What?" I screamed.

"You promised you would help me to buy Quinn's gift."

"Right now? It's..." I spied my cell's monitor. It was nearly ten o'clock.

"Nine and forty-eight in the morning to be exact." Rachel shouted from the door, than, she lost her temper and opened the door. "Santana, are you okay?"

"I'm okay." I answered kicking my blanket to the side before Rachel decided I was sick and put a thermometer under my arm. "I can't have a lazy day in this house!" I complained.

"Sorry." Rachel looked puzzled, but at all at the same time. "Do you know what? I must go to the theater around five and there is still so much to do. I need to optimize my time and you promised you would help me."

I took my blanket and covered my head again to scream under it. And Rachel wondered why I got nervous gastritis. Seriously? She was 50% responsible only taking me off or toasting my patience on a regular basis. God, I should have spent more time traveling around last year just to rest my mind from Rachel Berry-Lopez.

"The coffee is still warm." She turned and left my room. I could feel that she was mad at me because she thought I would break my promise. Tempting, I couldn't deny.

I got up and I was dragging my feet to the bathroom. Only after throwing fresh water on my face and brushing teeth is that I set out to establish a civilized dialogue. I wasn't that hungry and I could just skip the breakfast, but my sister wouldn't allow me. She made me drink some juice and eat a piece of bread while she was sweeping the house.

"Imagine if the gossip websites post a story about the glamour of certain actresses in the home environment and show Angelina Jolie with a broom in hand like you are now."

"I'm sure Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have enough money to pay three or four maids." She said still working. "I, on the other hand, don't need one. Specially because I have a sister that helps me a lot with the cleaning. Oh, my mistake… the only thing you really do well is put the dishes in the dishwasher."

"Now, you're offending me. This is not true and it's not fair. I do help you with the cleaning. I just don't do it when you order me to. That's the difference."

"That's your thing, right? Not taking orders from anyone."

"Why are you being so passive-aggressive?"

"Nada. Maybe it was your willingly statement as scream under the blanket because I asked you a favor!"

I felt like scream again. Instead, I swallowed the rest of the breakfast and started to clean the kitchen. What was the plan? Ah yes: clean the house in the morning, lunch out, buy such a gift and then she would prepare for such a special Valentine's Day she was planning. Something like dinner with Quinn after the play – Rachel booked a table for two in an expensive French restaurant –, and then have monkey sex maybe with some toys. Unfortunately, I didn't plan anything, which meant me staying quietly confined in my room on Valentine's Day, with my headphones on, studying to Columbia's classes. Depressing.

Rachel relaxed her features when she saw me helping her. Then, I caught the cleaners and clean our bathrooms. When I finished, she was putting our clothes in the washing machine. I didn't know why Rachel made so much drama because I awake a little later since we finished up in time for lunch. She was still silent when we entered the small, cheap and cozy restaurant near our home. The place served simple food to the pound, but the difference is that they used organic ingredients that pleased Rachel. I didn't care about organic food. Truth be told, I only care about being environmentally friendly when businesses ask for it. Simple like that.

"What will you buy for Quinn?" I asked.

"I thought of a gem, but I think this type of gift is most suitable for special occasions such as anniversary. What do you think of perfume? Quinn likes to use more masculine citrus fragrance."

"Perfume is good! But Quinn mentioned once that she needed some accessories for her camera, but she was broke as always. Maybe if you buy her a gift card and a box of chocolates would also be good, romantic and useful."

"Yeah, it could work, although I not sure if Quinn would be offended. Even more because these kind of accessories are expensive."

"I don't think so." I picked up my phone and accessed the internet. "How much you're willing to spend? $100? $200? Well, she won't buy a lens at this price, but she can buy a lot of small things for her camera she may need. We can do this right now and send the card for purchases to Quinn's address."

"When did you become so pragmatic to shop? And what is the fun to buy a gift on internet when we have Manhattan and window shopping? Where is that Santana Berry-Lopez who used to spend hours walking in Lima's mall in search of the perfect dress?"

"I still love window shopping for clothes. I just don't have as much time available. Not even you."

"But, today, we have some time. Let's go!"

After lunch, we decided to walk in Midtown. I left my car in a paid parking and walked to the 5th Avenue. The shops were reasonably filled with people doing last minute shopping for their significant others and Rachel's eyes were filled in the windows. The perfume idea went to space as soon as my sister considered sunglasses and a new phone a better idea. She ended up buying some clothes for herself, I won some too (I love when my sister open her wallet), and Quinn would have new phone because hers was rubbish. Not a romantic gift, but hey, that wasn't a terrible one either.

"Are we done?" I asked.

"We still have a place that I must go."

We walked into the nearest Victoria's Secret and Rachel chose a provocative set of red lingerie. I was amazed that my 29 minutes younger sister could be sexy when she wanted. Quinn is a lucky girl.

"I need you to do me a favor, Santy." She said as we walked back to the parking lot where my car had left. "I need you to wash it for me and put in a hanger in my closet. Could you do it?"

"This is so humiliating! Washing lingerie so you can seduce and have monkey sex with that blonde."

"Please. I would do the same for you, if you were in the same situation. Actually, if you buy one of these to impress someone like Johnny, I totally would do the favor for you."

"Johnny..." I muttered.

"You should talk to him, you know? Talking seriously this time, leaving no room for two interpretations and without outbreaks. I think it's time for you two to have a real conversation about your relationship."

"There's no relationship, Ray."

"Because you're afraid of having one. And all the sexual tension between you two is making me mad."

"When you and Quinn started dating... who initiated it?" I was curious. "Like… it's not easy to talk these things with a close friend, unless this friend is Brittany who doesn't follow any reasonable rule."

"Point one: Quinn and I were never close friends. We were more like mates from Glee Club." This was true: I was more a friend to Quinn than Rachel ever was. "But everything kind of changed when we wrote 'Get it Right' together... after that, she subtly seduced me when I still was with Finn. Anyway, point two: when we started dating for real, right here in New York, it was something almost inevitable and I didn't bother to fight against this feeling."

"Subtly seduced you?" I laughed. "That's so Quinn Fabray: corner the prey before pouncing."

"Quinn has her moments, but she's not always like that."

"Don't get me wrong, I like Quinn, but she is a manipulator when it suits her!" How she formed our alliance in our freshman year of high school, the many times I had to bargain with her including things in Rachel's favor. Quinn could be my sister's longtime girlfriend and I even considered her as part of the family, but I would never trust her completely. Not really. And Rachel knew that.

"Quinn is not the issue here." She scolded. "The problem is you and Johnny not staying together. What I think is that if you don't resolve soon this situation, I swear I'll tie you two in a tiny room and you will only be able to leave after talk."

"Much like papi did to us that time in Lima?" I smiled at the memory.

"Pretty much."

"And why do you want see me in a relationship?"

"You spent a year alone, with only minor affairs, and that's not right or is doing any favor to you. Moreover, it's passing the time to you exorcise Brittany's ghost allow yourself to be happy with someone who really cares about you. I know Johnny is the right person. You know Johnny is the right person or you wouldn't get so jealous when he got that girlfriend. Is this too much to ask?"

We stood standing there in near the parking lot: Truth be told, I was impressed with my sister's logic. The tragedy and the irony was that she was right about some stuffs. Me not talking with Johnny about our relationship was because I was scared.

"Rachel Berry?" Someone called. We looked back and saw a chubby redhead girl looking at us with a huge smile. "Oh you are Rachel Berry. Oh, this is so cool. I saw your play yesterday: you were divine at the stage, and I don't miss an episode of 'Slings and Arrows'. Kate is one of my favorites. Could I take a selfie with you? And could you give me an autograph?" Wow, and I thought no one in this world could talk faster than Rachel when she raced to speak.

"Sure! Will be a pleasure..."

"Carol. My name is Carol!" The fan was thrilled even. It was funny.

The fan took two photos with my sister and Rachel autographed her iPad case.

"I don't want to be inconvenient, but are you her sister?" The girl asked me and I just nodded yes. "This is so cool. The people at the community sometimes comments on you because of an old interview Rachel's did. Is it true that you guys still live together?"

"It's true..." Rachel held my hand. "It was a pleasure to Carol, but we have to go now."

"Could we take a photo with your sister? It would be nice..."

I wanted to give one of my Lima Highs answer to this little girl, but Rachel just put her arm around my waist and stayed in the middle between me and her fan. The girl took the photo, thanked us and we could finally be on our way. I bet in half a minute the picture would be on her Instagram, or something.

"Community?" I asked.

"I've seen some. The most famous one has a space to discuss the private lives of the actors and their ships. You know that most people are convinced that the Rom and I have a secret affair. And they CSI photos and Twitter to prove that. It's amazing."

"Then I think I'll troll around there."

"And by chance do you have time to troll now that you're back to college?"

"Well..." I tried to find an argument. "Not really."

"Thank God! What a nightmare Santana Berry-Lopez trolling about my life for a bunch of fans."

I drove Rachel to the theater and headed for home. I did that favor for my sister and put her new lingerie at the dryer among our other clothes. I organized everything and finish cleaning our home. Then hit a melancholy. What would I do here alone locked in my room on Valentine's Day? It sure I would mull the fact my sister was having fun in her room along with Quinn and I was there without get laid for months. Actually, I was living an affair with my dildo.

This gave me an anguish and a courage I haven't felt in ages. I took a quick shower and drove to New Jersey risking of not find him at home or came across something that wouldn't please me, but what I have to lose? I stopped in front of that horrible building where stood the studio Johnny rented year ago. I pressed the intercom.

"Johnny Boy. It's me."

"San?" He sounded confused.

"Can you open?"

I hear the crack of the door and went upstairs. I met him at his door. He looked surprised on seeing and looked like he was not expecting anyone to judge by his unkempt hair and unshaven face. Johnny was kind of isolated in favor to finish a book he was writing or something. Well, I wasn't interested in his literary work. Rachel was right about one thing: we need to clarify certain points.

"What a surprise!" He let me in on that little trashed apartment.

Johnny was a clean guy, but that place really wasn't very good. The bed was full papers and books, his computer was on a plastic table and I was sure he found his chair in some corner. There was a box of pizza in half over the sink and a bottle of coca-cola beside the computer. At least it was nice to know he didn't like to get drunk or stoned to produce as many of the writers.

"Sorry for the mess." He run to collect the papers and books on his bed and offered the computer chair for me to sit.

"No problem. I should have warned you." I sit in the chair and Johnny continued his shameful and sudden housecleaning mode.

"Can I offer you anything? Pizza?" He was embarrassed, I could tell. "I bought it today for lunch, so it's still good. I have no beer, but I have some cans of coke and sprike... I mean... you're not in a gastritis crisis, right?"

I let out a laugh. The obsessive mania of my sister on regarding my health seems that infected all our friends.

"Sprite is cool."

Johnny opened that pseudo-fridge and took out a can and passed it to me.

"Pizza?" He continued standing with anguished way.

"I'm not hungry, thanks."

"I have some chocolate here."

"What's up with all the sugar?"

"It helps to write. Do you wanna some?"

"Johnny!" I warned. "Sit down a moment. I am fine. I just came here to talk, ok? I don't care with your mess." That's when he sat down on the edge of his bed. "Unless I've gotten into a really bad moment or you're waiting someone else…"

"It's not that, San. I have no plans for today. You just caught me off guard and nothing more."

"None plans. Not even with that girl you are dating?"

"Elaine? No, no." He shook his head for emphasis. "We've never actually date, and we're not seeing each other anymore."

"Why? She seemed to be a nice girl."

"She was. Well, she is a she deserved someone nice who was 100% into her. It wasn't my place. I..." He looked at me. "I seem to be tied. I like this girl, I think she likes me back, but our situation is just confusing."

"Really?" I took sip of my soda.

"Do you want to talk about that?"

"The truth?" He nodded and I hesitated to continue. I took a deep breath and tried to relax on that uncomfortable chair. How could he write a book sitting on that? "I also can't think straight since I kissed a nice guy, but I panicked. I tried to be just friends with him, but it's not working."

"Really?" It was my time to nod. "I'm your friend, San. You can say me anything you want. No commitments or judgments."

I wanted to laugh. I really wanted it. Only my Johnny boy to cross his legs and get in 'best friend' mode on a subject that was about us. It also made me relax and enjoy the first chance we had at a quiet place to talk about. I took another sip of soda.

"I panicked because for many years I was emotionally attached to a beautiful girl who lives in Los Angeles. Well, you met Brittany, that blonde girl with amazing blue eyes, 1.73 m of a perfect body. But she's not all for me. She never was. She is my best friend for a life, you know? And Britt was my first love. The first person I was in love. We were planning to be together here in New York, but she got pregnant and chose to try a married life with the father of her kid instead of staying with me. Brittany was rational, but the fact is that I never thought I would get over it and fill the hole she left. Actually, maybe I didn't want to get over her and be healed because I put on an altar, and sometimes I think I deserve to suffer for a number of things I've done in the past. For being mean with so many people, a bully to my own sister and half of the school, for having hurt my father. Anyway, things that it's not necessarily related, but that mix in my head... it's just terrible."

"That makes no sense, San. You don't deserve to suffer these things and not for others beyond your control and will."

"I try to tell that to myself. My sister tells it a lot. But the fact is that I have been suffering quietly for Brittany until I began to feel a crazy attraction to this friend. He's one of my best friends to tell the truth. And when we kissed, he made me feel the happiness I found only Britt was able to provide. I realized that this friend could fill the hole and I panicked because I didn't know if I was prepared to overcome it." I tried to restrain myself to keep my voice as controlled as possible. "I'm afraid that I will hurt him bad and hurt myself again in the process."

"That's so funny."

"Why?"

"Because I feel something similar. I mean, I've never had a love like you had for Brittany. Of course I had some girlfriends that I enjoyed more than others, but being in love? Not like that. One day, I met this girl in an unusual way and I was impressed at how much she was beautiful and feisty. But she was too young at that time and I wouldn't do any move on her. Over time, this girl just grew on me and became my best friend. I told her things I kept to myself for years, I envy her boyfriends in silence, but I tried to stay in my place because her friendship is too valuable. One day I realized I was in love for real for the first time. I thought I would die of frustration, so she broke up with a longtime boyfriend. A nice guy, I must say. I thought to myself that maybe it was my chance. Then we kissed and it was magical. It was everything I thought it would be, only much better. So, as a surreal scene, she immediately said a portion of barbarities which had the same effect as a kick in the balls. I was puzzled not knowing what I had done wrong for her want to hurt me like that. I thought maybe I don't deserve her after all. She was too good to be spoiled with someone like me. You deserve the world, Santana Berry-Lopez." Johnny was sad and I was about to join him in the depressing game. Instead, I kissed him.

My heart raced and it seems that every sad thought had vanished, as if my being had been concentrated in the nice feeling on my lips. And when I pulled away, he was still with his eyes closed. I wanted to kiss him right away and so I did. This time I sat beside him, so our bodies would be closer. I felt his hands timidly stroking my face and the other gong down to my waist. I open my lips and felt his warm tongue invading my mouth, but timidly, without haste, without wanting suck my soul. Johnny was a great kisser and the feeling was incredible.

"What are you doing to me, San?" He held my hand to his chest. I felt his heart racing.

"I don't know, Johnny boy. But whatever it is, I think it's worth the risk."

"I would go to hell with you, San. God have mercy on me for that."

We kissed again. I dind't know what I had done to deserve this person who I had fallen in love and which corresponded my feelings. It was too good for my heart that was getting used to being lonely.

Johnny and I talked and ate that pizza. It was good to get my friend back to talk trivial and important things. We talk about stupidities, family, the football game, and even about our relationship. It was wonderful. No sex was involved: just talk and laugh and some kisses.

I went back home in the end of the night and I was in heaven. It was something that I used to only feel with Brittany and honestly I thought it wouldn't happen to anyone else. When I got home, I didn't even bother with the noises coming from my sister's bedroom. Incidentally, she was making good use of her new lingerie. I just went to my room. There, I no longer listened to the unpleasant noises once I closed the door. I changed my clothes and sleep like a baby.

When I woke up the next day, it was almost ten o'clock again. It was strange get up that late and not have my sister knocking on my door to see if she was still alive. I got up, dragged myself to the bathroom as usual, and when I left my room, I found Rachel bathrobe sitting on Quinn's lap as she put a strawberry in her girlfriend's mouth. Normally, I would have commented something nefarious about it, but I was too happy and light up to be cynical.

"Morning." I decided to fry an egg.

"Good morning, Santy. I thought you had gone to a party and slept outside yesterday." Quinn did something that my sister laughed at her lap. I wasn't paying attention to them.

"I did something much better than going to a party."

Rachel looked at me curiously, but still remained in Quinn's lap.

"O quê?" – só por maldade, deixei tudo no ar. Sabia que Rachel ia se roer por dentro em curiosidade e isso seria divertido – "O quê?" – ela repetiu.

Terminei de fritar o ovo e sentei à mesa em frente as meninas. Desfrutei minha refeição matinal com um suco de laranja que elas tinham preparado. Rachel ainda estava com cara de que ia explodir se eu não falasse. Tive vontade de gargalhar. Foi quando o meu celular tocou. Corri até o meu quarto e sorri quando vi a foto na tela.

"Ei Johnny Boy..."

"Ei San, estava pensando aqui... eu sei que é meio careta, mas será que você gostaria de comemorar o Valentine's Day?"

Era bom voltar a me sentir como uma adolescente boba outra vez. Era gostoso ver a cidade rosada àquela época do ano e tudo fazer sentido.

"What?" Just for spite, I left everything in the air. I knew Rachel was going nuts in curiosity and it would be fun. "What?" She said again.

I finished frying the egg and sat at the table in front of the girls, enjoying my morning meal with an orange juice they had prepared. Rachel looked like she was going to explode if I didn't speak. I wanted to laugh hard this time. That's when my phone rang. I ran to my room and smiled when I saw the picture on the screen.

"Hey Johnny Boy..."

"Hey San, I was thinking here... I know it's kinda late, but do you like to celebrate Valentine's Day with me today… as a date?"

It was nice to feel like a silly teenager again. It was nice to see the city so rosy at this time of year and everything made sense.


	3. Chapter 3

**Great alms**

**(Quinn)**

My grandfather, who already passed away, was a fine and bankrupt old money. When I was younger, my parents brought Frannie and I to Cincinnati to visit him. He lived on a nice middle class house because it was all that's left him from a fortune one day he had. My father, of course, inherited more name and pride than money, but he knew how to win in life: working your ass off. Our visit to my grandfather had one end of the classroom teaching of what happens when you make bad decisions in life. Of course, my father and my grandfather weren't best friends and we did those trips to as an annual obligation.

But I actually liked to spend some time with the older Fabray. He was just a lonely man with a lot of regrets. Now I understand that. But at that time, all I knew was he was a bitter man who had a lot of sayings on the tip of his tongue. He used to say: "When the alms are great, the poor man distrust" every time my father did something nice to him. Just to charge the favor after. Do you know what? This is true. Life taught me that: nothing is for free or unintended, even when the big alms come from my own girlfriend.

Rachel has been acting great since Valentine's Day. She was extra-loving, always calling me to sleep at her house, dinner together, do something after hours. And sex was a marvel. If I suggested eating her in the middle of Times Square, she would open her legs to me and do it right there, I swear. It may seem somewhat chauvinistic of me to think so, but I was overjoyed because she was doing all the things I liked in bed but she not so much, including some of my fantasies. Like that day she sucked my clit while I was driving.

So, there was Rachel Berry-Lopez, the diva, on her fours while I fucked her from behind with the help of my little friend. It wasn't anal sex, because Rachel was afraid to do it, and I also would never force such since my experience with Sam wasn't the best one. But yes, she was on all fours in a submissive position while I was doing it hard and fast like a big bad lion. That was the part I enjoyed the alms. I retired my little friend when I came after heard her scream my name over and over. Rachel looked exhausted after that sex session, but fine.

"That was..." She was panting when I fell down the side of the bed.

"It was great, but we not finished yet." She looked incredulously at me as I freed myself from my buddy and then got on the bed pointing to my own sex. "I need some cleaning if you don't mind."

Rachel nodded and I soon felt her hot mouth in place where I needed. Again she was eating me good, working on my third orgasm of the night. My thoughts flew to a place far away and all I was focused on the waves of pleasure she was giving me. Rachel has a very talented tongue, I must say, and a breath to envy. I was thrusting my hips against her face, holding the back of her hair with one hand while I played with my breast with the other. I was feeling incredible, hotter and hotter, until my brain blew up and I kind of passed out for a moment.

"Any more wish, my Greek goddess?" She said in a small voice, and still tried to be suggestive.

"Come here." I pulled her into a loving kiss and we cuddled in a way she could sleep in my arms.

A good thing of do the final semester is that I didn't need to go to NYU every day, despite having to study hard to complete my thesis. Rachel also didn't need to wake up early because she didn't have a commitment for those days but the play. I cradled my girlfriend in my arms and we slept in peace.

When I woke up, Rachel was still dead to the world. Perhaps our activities have been a little more intense than I planned and so I wouldn't wake her. I didn't bother to cover myself when I got out the bed to take a quick shower. If my core was a little sore, Rachel's could be more and it concerned me. It always concerned me every time we go rougher. She was still asleep when I finished and went out to her bathroom. I wore my underwear and borrowed her robe to eat some breakfast. It was almost nine in the morning of a Tuesday, after all. Santana apparently had already left to Columbia judging by the remnants of breakfast on the table and no other sigh of her in the place. So, I organized Santana's little mess and made some fresh coffee and French toasters to my lady. Speaking of her, Rachel came to the kitchen without shower and just with her hobby on. Her hair was that post sex way that I loved, and she was still sleepy.

"Good morning, my lady." I gave her a peck.

"Morning. What time is it?"

"Half past nine."

"It's late. Why didn't you wake me?"

"You were so heavily sleep that I didn't want to bother you" I kissed her again, and then Rachel put her hand to her mouth to yawn.

"Hmmm." She stretched again before sit to eat her breakfast with me. "I need to work out today..."

"Haven't we worked out enough last night? And you're in great shape, Rach." It was true. She got some nice and discrete abs, although I loved the little tummy she used to have. "Don't you think you can take a break today? I don't have to go work until lunch."

"Maybe..."

While I serve her coffee (it was nice to be in a house in which the options were not restricted to the package of waffles with butter and Oreo), Rachel's mind was far way, I could tell by the way she was eating the piece of bread.

"Where do you buy this bread? It's good."

"In the Arab emporium. It's near the market I like to buy my organic groceries."

"Do you have to work today?" She just nodded. "And do you have plans for the weekend?"

"Nothing in mind. Maybe you can take care of it." She smiled in a suggestive way.

"You can call you understudy on Sunday, so we can spend an day at the museum. What do you think?"

"It would be great!" She said without hesitation, and that's when the alms reached the limit. While Rachel may even go into a museum, even thought she didn't like any other that's not music or Broadway related, call her understudy for something banal is something she never ever would do. Something was wrong.

"Well, after the museum, we could have sex outdoors in Central Park while you sing Let's Get It On. What do you say?"

"Sure..." She answered automatically and I had enough.

"What's going on, Rach?"

"What's going on what?"

"When the alms are great, the poor man distrust" I quoted my grandfather. "Not that I'm distrusting you, Rachel, but you are overly affectionate with me. And last night was..."

"Don't you Like it?" She was concerned.

"I loved... you realized little fantasies of mine... but Rachel, the more I want to think this is a giant Valentine's Day, I am still a person down to the ground. Something tells me this is the kiss before the slap. Then, slap me, please."

Rachel stared at me and blinked a few times, and then she sighed.

"Slings and Arrows is going to be shot in Los Angeles this year." She shot and I couldn't process the information.

"What?"

"Slings and Arrows…" She repeated more slowly. "… is going to be shot in Los Angeles this year."

"That means..."

"That means I'm going to live in Los Angeles for six months. I'll move out in mid-April, and I'll come back to New York in October because I also have a movie to do in my agenda. In the meantime, I'll come to New York every time a can, but we'll have to run a long distance relationship this year."

"How long have you known that?" My heart was racing. The news fell like a concrete block on my head.

"Since January."

"And you spent all this time knowing it and didn't have the courage to tell me sooner?" My chest was filling up with rage. "Why?"

"Because our relationship ever goes through a delicate phase, Quinn, and I fear for our future. I love you, but I'm afraid, so I thought it was better postpone telling you because..."

"Did you think what, Rachel?" I hit the table. "That If you fool me with sex it would make me accept anything after? Do you think I'm a moron d-bag who can't be rational, like a man who only thinks with his penis? Do you thing I'm not mature enough to handle a temporary long distance relationship? Go to hell, Rachel. Go to hell!"

I got up from the table, wore my clothes, picked my stuffs and walked out of that apartment. Life was crazy. Crazy! How could she? Rachel could move to China, to Japan or to hell. But she must have told me as soon as she heard the news. This is what I called respect and consideration.

I took the subway towards my house. I was possessed with rage when my phone rang. It was Santana. I didn't answer. I wasn't in the mood and I was sure I would tell something negligible to her. Of course Santana's calling must be a coincidence because one thing she didn't do is taking Rachel's side when her sister screwed up. Anyway, I wouldn't want to fight with Santana just because I was mad at something she wasn't to blame, so, I turn off my phone.

I got home and found Santiago drawing anything. Probably this movie project he's producing for months. I wasn't in the mood or spirit even to talk with my friend. I just went to my room and slammed the door behind me. I threw my bag on the floor and threw myself on my bed. The advantage of living with my male bestfriend instead with my girlfriend was that I could have my own room and shut myself in my own world and not talking about it. Santiago wasn't a guy to vent on issues of dating, and he wouldn't knock at my door to ask if I was okay when I clearly wasn't. It was great living with a man in that sense.

I didn't lunch too. I was just rolling on my bed to take the time to go to Bad Things with Santiago. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair and made a perfect ponytail, put fresh clothes and went to work.

"I heard rumors about Victoria's Secret." Santiago said casually on the bus. "It seems that Bad Things made a deal with the company for its new advertising campaign, but it can't yet be announced officially. Imagine we're working with those supermodels? Make the catalog and all of that shit? Imagine we're banging one?"

"You're incorrigible."

"A guy can dream. And I know those femme models are totally your type. I saw you checking out that model ass that day."

"I wasn't…"

"Of course you were!"

"Checking out is not cheating."

"Who talked about cheating, Fabray? That girl was hot and a beauty like that was made to be appreciated."

"Ok…"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. That guy next to me who had a girlfriend, was already dreaming of supermodels. On the other hand, it was great to have that kind of lightness and fun talk. When we got to work, Santiago went straight to the art department: the best one in that company. There is where I can find chocolate cookies once I felt hungry and wasn't able to leave to buy a snack. Rose, the art manager, said that you should drink one can of beer to help creating something, drink some coffee to focus on the project, and eat sugar to keep the energy. Crazy hum? Those guys from the art department were the only ones that could drink a can beer while working every time they're making some brainstorm for a new campaign. But me, well, I got the chocolate cookies. Because I didn't lunch that day, I invade the art department, took some cookies, went to the coffee machine and started working. I entered the photography department room and I found a small staff meeting.

"What's going on?" I asked my boss.

"We are forming the team to work on the VS new commercials." He smiled.

"So… is it official? Bad Things got this account?"

"Yes." Terry Python, my boss started to talk with everybody again while I was sitting on a chair. "As I was saying, the big guys won't hire outside famous names. Our team is great enough to handle VS. Dave and Richards will be working exclusively on it."

That wasn't a surprise. Dave is one of the minor partners of the company. He's indeed a fine director. Not as good as the big guys, who we called the major partners, but Dave is the one who directs most of the main commercials produced by Bad Things and he, sometimes, direct some episodes of the TV shows produced on New Rochelle's studios. And Marian Richards, another minor partner, is the best photographer around.

"This project is very important." She continued explaining. "VS gave us all the campaign, which means we will do everything this time: commercials, catalogs, internet advertising and all of this shit. Brody and I will manage all of it and we expect from all of you no less than perfection. And Fabray… you will be my main assistant on it, so prepare yourself because we have a lot of shit to do."

"What?" I was surprised. Interns weren't supposed to assume this kind of job inside the company. We were… interns who deal with the boring part of the job and plus almost all manual labor.

"You're great, girl!" Marian Richards smiled at me. "You've doing a great job with the camera and the grip. So be ready!"

"There is another thing I want to discuss with you later, Fabray." My boss said. "But we need to work right now, guys. Come on, let's move our asses."

Terry Python, my boss, is the general coordinator of the photography department. He is not a partner, but people say his salary is one of the highest in the company. Terry organizes all the teams in all the productions that pass through Bad Things. It's a lot and he does it like a fine conductor. It's impressive. Really. I don't know why, but he kind of protect me. Maybe because I do my best on all the jobs he orders me to do. Still, talk in private always makes my spike shiver because Bad Things has a very dynamic and competitive environment. There is a large turnover of people, particularly of interns. Some of them can't stand the pace and ask to leave. Others are summarily fired. There's a lot of pressure to work for a company that demands excellence even in the details.

"Fabray?" Terry asked me to go to his office.

"Yes, boss?" Everybody calls him: boss.

"Come here, please."

I sat on the chair and he didn't bother of close the door, which was a good sigh. A closed door means a dismissal or something really serious.

"What's up, boss?"

"How long have you been working as intern?"

"A year and five months."

"And I heard you're going to graduate this year."

"Yes, I am."

"Do you have any plans after your graduation?"

"I just want to keep working and get some money to produce a short film project I have with Santiago."

"Santiago from the art department?" I nodded. "He is a good guy. So… do you have any other job in view after graduation?"

"No, I don't. My contract as an intern with Bad Things is over in May, but I didn't have time to looking for another job."

"Would you like to remain with us?"

"Are you serious?" He nodded and kind of smiled. "Of course! Yes!"

"Great. I'll arrange a new contract with a new salary: a bigger one, of course. There's no reason to make you wait until May to be effective as an employee."

"Thank you sir, but what about my college? I'm not really doing any classes, still, I need to write my final thesis and I can't finish it working full time."

"I get it. Well, we can make a deal: you can work part time until you finish writing your thesis. I don't think this is a problem since we don't really have a fixed schedule to begin working. But I need you doing jobs involving more responsibilities. We are producing a comedy pilot for NBC. There is already a crew for the pilot, Liam is on this project, and I'm sure we will need someone like you working as cameraman in New Rochelle. Maybe you can do some cinematographer job here and there. But we will talk about it later. For now, I really want you to work on VS project."

"Thank you sir."

"Welcome on board again, Fabray. You were a great intern and have earned this new contract. We will discuss you new salary later, ok?"

To see how things are: in the morning I was devastated because my girlfriend, the love of my life, doesn't seem to trust me to say that she will spend six months living across the country. It's not that I say that things are simple: they aren't. I know that both she and I will suffer with distance. But trust is fundamental to our relationship surviving this. It's just one more rock in the path of all many others we already overcome or we are still working on it.

Then, in the afternoon, my mood changed thanks to my sweat. If I deserved this new contract in Bad Things, it's because I've always been a good professional and grabbed this opportunity to learn about my job in hard practice everyday, even if it was pure hell to work and study at the same time. I wish Rachel had the same confidence in me that my bosses showed have.

"Quinn Fabray?" A delivery boy came to our department with a gorgeous bouquet of red roses. "Delivery for you, ma'am." He asked me to sign a receipt and left. The looks of my colleagues fell on me and I was almost as red as the roses.

"Hum... Who is the Cupid?" Asked a female colleague.

"My girlfriend." I replied in the most neutral way.

I took the card and read the little note.

"_**Please, come to the Public today, so we can go out for a dinner and talk. I love you more than anything.**_" - Rachel B. Berry-Lopez

And it had a drawing of a star, a heart and a crown, plus a "4ever". It means: Rachel loves Quinn forever. I sighed.

"I bet you'll get laid tonight, Fabray." Another guy said mischievously.

My cell phone rang at the end of my shift. It was Rachel. She knew I hated answer particular calls while working, unless it was an emergency.

"Hey" I said when I saw her picture on my monitor.

"_You're out of work?_"

"Almost. My shift ends in ten minutes."

"_I'm here at the Public... I was wondering if I could see you when I get out of here._"

"I don't know, Rachel. I'm too tired to come to the theater."

"_So, can I go to your place?_"

"Of course. Not that I will knock the door on your face if you appears."

"_I know I messed up, Quinn. I made a terrible mistake. A thousand pardons, but I've been unsure of so many things to the point of not thinking straight._"

"We'll talk later, okay?"

"_Okay. I love you._"

I sighed and finished doing the few things and called my day.

"I was hired" I said Santiago on the way home.

"What?" He was confused.

"I was hired. I'm no longer an intern."

"That's... wow, Fabray. That is impressive. We need to celebrate that you will inject more money back home!"

"Pizza pepperoni with plenty of onions."

"Are you seeing Rachel today?" I nodded. "Poor your girl!" And he pointed to the bouquet of roses. "Did you guys solve your problems?"

"Not yet."

One of the good things about living with Santiago is that he's never complicated. Never, ever. Instead of possible vibrations of jealousy because I was hired, Santiago asks a pizza. But I knew that hiring him was only a matter of time. The Bad Things would be crazy to miss out on a talent like him. Our meal arrived half an hour after the request. We celebrate ith pizza and beer, even though I don't like drinking beer, but wine is more expensive. The important thing is that we celebrate talking nonsense about girls and life.

I was anxious when the clock struck ten at night because I knew that was the time that Rachel used to come out of the theater. Half an hour later, the intercom rang. Rachel came up and caught me in pajamas. Yes, I did it on purpose. Santiago was in our small kitchen/living room watching the news just in his boxes that I knew Rachel always felt upset about it because of her sense of decency, but it no longer bother me. He waved to Rachel and went to his room.

"Improper time?"

"Why are you saying that?"

"You are in your pajamas and your disgusting friend was only in his boxes."

"I should be glad that Tiago doesn't walk naked at home. His boxes are fine."

Rachel sat on the couch.

"You're cold on me because of that, don't you?"

"Just because you haven't told me sooner that we will spend half of the year apart? No sense!" I crossed my arms.

"Sorry, Quinn. Please, forgive me. I know I messed up. I should have told you from the beginning instead of trying to soften you first with..."

"Sex. You can say it loud, Rachel."

"Yes, this…"

"I'm not complaining about the sex part, because we had a great time on these last two weeks. But you did hurt me, Rachel. You hurt me because you didn't trust me. Because you judged me immature or unable to deal with this sort of thing. It hurts like hell, don't you know it? And you're a hypocrite."

"What!" She responded to my offense.

"Because you come with all the talk of building trust between us, but you are the first to break it. Trust isn't just about fidelity. The concept is much broader. And if you don't trust and don't have enough respect for me to tell something really important early on, if I think you need tricks to shoot the news, then all our effort into making it work will be in vain."

"It won't happen again." She said lowering the tone.

"Thank you!" I answered yet exalted and sat beside her.

We spent a few minutes in silence, until I tried to smooth things with the good news.

"Bad Things hired me. I'm no longer just an intern."

"That's wonderful, Quinn." Rachel stared at me. Her features were smoothed over.

"Yes it is."

"We need to celebrate."

"I've already celebrated it." I pointed to the box of pizza and the cans of beer.

"This is ..."

"It was just a pizza, Rach."

"What about us?"

"We can think about something to the weekend, but truth be told: I can't be with you today. I'm still too mad at you and you won't buy me with sex this time." She nodded and stood up from the couch.

"I'll call you then." She said going to the door.

"Yeah."

"I love you, Quinn. For real."

"I love you too. I just…"

"Need some space… I get it."

She kissed on my lips and got out. It' was better that way. I wasn't about to share my bed with her in those conditions. So, I locked the door, went to my room and couldn't sleep. This crisis on my relationship with Rachel was killing me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Party!**

**(Santana)**

Nothing is like relaxing in my own bed after a day doing a terrible test of the college. It took me a while to get back to the college pace and my extra work at my company: everything still tires me. For these and others reasons, I agreed with Rachel's idea in making a party at our place to close friends. It would be a great for cool our minds. It was the first since we moved to New York. Everything else was just a dinner with friends or films sessions. It was good to take advantage of the fact it was easier to store away things and embellishments to not run the risk of accidents, all because we didn't have much furniture. We decided to put the snacks on the dinner table and the drinks and disposable cups on the sideboard. Whoever wanted beer should go to the kitchen. So, that's it.

Rachel also made some interviews to hire a maid because we couldn't leave everything as clean as we would like to. With a big apartment and the busy life we had, we didn't have the energy to proper cleanning anymore. We were inclined hire Bena, which was the nickname for Benazir Hangal, an Indian about 40 years old with husband and kids: all working and studying in NYC. She had worked as maid for a neighbor in our building, but the family was moving out to a house in New Jersey, a suburban neighborhood, too far for Bena goes to work everyday. Rachel talked to them and Mrs. Steven said Bena was an honest and qualified person. Truth be told: she was the only interviewed I attended, so that's why I was so inclined to hire her.

Working in our home involved a special clause in the contract: nothing about our personal lives could be revealed. All because of Rachel, and more specifically her relationship with Quinn. I understood that Rachel can't be known as a gay actress because it would be bad for her career. Still, it sucks. If Bena agrees and sigh the contract, we will have someone to help cleaning the house after the party. Oh God, that would be so nice.

"We have drinks, snacks and MMs. Do you think something's missing?" Rachel picked the snacks that we bought.

"There won't be so many people. Consider: Johnny, Andrew and some of my friends from college who may or may not bring companions, and the Rock'n'Pano staff. That's my side. On your side, it's Quinn and…?"

"I called Luis, the guys from the play, Nina, Angela, Josh Solano and Nick."

"Nick, Nick Brown? I didn't know you are speaking with him again."

"It would be silly to break up with all of my colleagues at the time of Across. And Nick and I were the chased ones, remember?"

"Truth." I walked into the service area and continued our conversation over there. "Don't forget Mercedes and Julio, they're in town."

"Yeah. Mercedes said they will watch my play before it's too late. What should remind you that I will get along with most of my guests, so..."

"I'm a much better host than you, Ray."

It was true. All times that I gave little parties in the pool house back home in Lima, they were very successful.

"Did you buy larger trash bag?" I asked.

"No." Rachel replied as I quickly swept the room. "And did you speak to Johnny about DJing?"

"My boyfriend will do it, hobbit. Don't worry." It' was so good to call Johnny: my boyfriend. I also could see my sister smiling after I said this.

I checked again all we bought for our little party and realized that we forgot simple things like straws and toothpicks, so I quickly went to the grocery store near my home. The annoying part of living in Manhattan is that it was more expensive than other neighborhoods, but it wasn't worth to spend some gas and patience on the traffic to buy such little things.

When I returned with some groceries in hand, Johnny was already at the house installing a globe on the ceiling and being watched closely by Rachel. By the rules of the building, we could use loud music at parties on weekends until midnight before giving arguments to the neighbors to call the trustee, the custodian, and the police. What was our strategy to get along with them? We invite our neighbors from downstairs, upstairs and next door, so we would have an edge over the loud music.

"Hello!" I said from distance. First I let the shopping bags into the kitchen before going back to the room and kiss my boyfriend.

"Hey, Princess." He down the small staircase and finally our lips touched.

"You're early."

"I came to install the sound" He pointed to the boxes in the corner of our room. "A party can't roll without great music."

"Sweet! Now that the two lovebirds met…" Rachel made her presence known before toward to her room. "I have to work."

"I'm so counting down the days to her flight to L.A."

"No, you aren't. You will miss her like hell as much she missed you when you travelled last year." Johnny hugged me and we kissed again.

"Did you miss me?" I teased him.

"I might get drunk once or twice." Johnny smiled and he kissed good one more time until Rachel interrupted.

"Guys?"

"What?" I said.

"Don't forget to make the pate. The ingredients are in the fridge."

"Ok, midget. Go work, please!"

Meanwhile, the intercom rang. Quinn. It was good that she arrived earlier to help with organization. Quinn soon was knocking the door.

"Hi San." Looked like she was running. "Where's Rachel?"

"In her room getting ready for work."

"That soon?"

"It's almost six, Fabray."

"Oh!" She looked at her cell phone. "Right. I was talking with my professor about my monograph and I thought I was on time…"

"Ok." I said with some indifference. It sucks that Quinn would graduate first than me.

Rachel left her room already ready to work. She kissed Quinn and said goodbye to us. She would come back with a lot of people, among them Mercedes and our cousin Julio. Johnny soon took charge of doing the heavy stuff while Quinn and I were in the kitchen tidying edibles and disposable. The kitchen, unfortunately, would serve as a circulation area for people caught the drinks. The foyer also would be used because it gives access to the toilet. But mine and Rachel's room would be locked. As much as this party was for our friends, we understand that adult parties (such as adolescents) could escape a bit out of control and someone could want to find a someplace to have sex. I ok, with that, but not in my room and on my bed.

"How things are going with you and Rachel?" I asked Quinn while we were in my room. I was finishing dressing up in my bathroom. Quinn, lying on my bed, was staring at the ceiling.

"She doesn't tell these things to you?" She sat on my bed to proper talk with me.

Quinn was dressing funny these days, with basic dresses and always walked with a bow in her hair. It's longer than her usual and I swear I would pay a hair cut to her in a very expensive place. She needed it bad, I could feel it. I know her money is short. Maybe too short. But it was weird seeing the once so vain and queen bitch Quinn Fabray dressing so basic while my sister kept better fashion sense and had money to do so. Yes, the only one Rachel Berry-Lopez now was dressing nice and she hired Kurt Hummel to be her personal stylist even though he still lived at the other side of the country. Well, they talk a lot by Skype.

"But it's her side of the story. I want to listen yours." I went up to my wardrobe. I grabbed a jacket, but it wasn't for me, then I showed it to Quinn.

"Nice jacket. Beautiful."

"It's for you. You're too Sears these days." Quinn wore the jacket and it improved a lot her look. "But tell me." I returned to the bathroom to my makeup. "How things are going?"

"Excluding the stress of her temporary move out?" I nodded and kept focused on my makeup. "I don't know! Rachel is distant these days."

"Do you think it's because Los Angeles?" Quinn nodded. "I must say I was on your side in this, but I can't get myself so much in my sister's busyness, even though she is committing a blunder."

"Do you want me to believe it?" I frowned at Quinn. "Come on, Santana, you always got yourself in Rachel's busyness."

"Maybe I'm not afraid to get my opinion known, but I don't decide for her, Quinn. That's what I mean. If I do, she would never date you, for starters."

"That's fair. Well, as you know, we haven't talked and discussed about Los Angeles yet. She will spend a few months out, and I still don't know what to do about it. I don't have money to flight there every weekend and I don't know how things will work. I do know Rachel will flight back to spend a day or two with me… with us… and there is internet…"

"Looks like you need somebody to talk, Fabray. Have you ever held to discuss this with a therapist?"

"Like the one you went last year and it last only two sessions?"

"It was three sessions, actually, and she did help. That's when I decided to take some time off traveling around and it was one of the best things I've ever done."

"Maybe, but not now. I'm not that desperate."

"If you say so…"

"It won't be that bad, do you know. It's only six months and Rachel and I will talk everyday. And we will, as you say, scissoring at skype every time we can."

"All right, Fabray."

"Well, on the other side, you do look very good these days with Johnny." I couldn't hold myself and I smiled.

"The feeling is that I just met him, but in a different way. At the same time, there is one of my best friends on hand. This is formidable. Johnny and I are enjoying ourselves a lot."

"You're on honeymoon!" She smiled at me and it was genuine.

I should be. When I got ready to party, I found my boyfriend drinking a beer while he was talking with Santiago, who had just arrived with his girlfriend, Kayla, I think that was her name. I kissed Johnny quickly before iterating myself about the conversation. They were talking about sports. I rolled my eyes. Nobody would never reach a consensus since everybody supported a different team. I loved the Buckeyes and the Browns because of my papi, even thought I was currently a Lion. Johnny was a Bulldog's huge fan. Santiago was a Violet and fanatic for the Giants.

Gradually the house began to fill for the party. First came Andrew and his rumored new girlfriend, and then some other friends from Columbia and two of our neighbors attended. Within a half hour, the house was full and the party was taking shape. Johnny was in the corner DJing while I was hosting the party. Sometimes I provide him some beer and affection. I wanted people to feel comfortable. Many brought gifts thinking that was an open house party. Crazy hum?

"Are you sure you don't have any announce to do?" Andrew tried to be discreet, but I understand the astonishment. I only party with my college friends in some bar.

"There isn't a special occasion. It's just party to relax and have fun."

"Ah, let's see ..." Andrew still didn't believe me.

Quinn didn't waste her time and spent the party between the dance floor and the sideboard where we puck the drinks. She was willing to dance and drown sorrows by the amount of vodka with soda. I was afraid with this particular combination: it never generated good things. Let's face it, something strange would happen. I went to the kitchen and two of my friends were with their tongues in each other throats. The detail is that one of them was engaged to a woman who worked on Wall Street. See? Lock out my sisters and mine bedroom was a terrific idea. I wonder what was circulating in my party. I grabbed a bottle of water and went to the dance floor. I took a sip from the bottle and then handed it to Quinn.

"But this is water." She complained.

"Exactly! Drink it."

"But this is water!"

"Drink. It. Fabray."

She obeyed me. Good for her. If she got drunk at least the hangover the next day would be smaller. Rachel and her friends from the theater arrived as planned at once after ten o'clock. They've got our house seething with all the sound. Amid the crowd: Mercedes and Julio came. I hastened to embrace both. I had missed them so much. It had been months since I saw them in person. The last time was at Thanksgiving when all the family celebrated it with abuela. Rachel arrived like she was the owner of the party with her actors friends. Sometimes I wanted to punch her, like when we were kids. The alcohol I had consumed didn't help ward off certain ideas of family violence. Rachel hugged Quinn and they kissed briefly. After that, I was no longer watching Quinn closely. I had people to chat and dance. I was a hostess. At least the guests were enjoying themselves.

It was a neighbor who gave me the warning that was almost one A.M. I went to Johnny and asked him to lower the sound. He did it gradually, to not be rude to people on the dance floor, warning with music that the party was almost over.

"What happened?" Rachel complained. "I was dancing with my friends."

"Rules of the building, little sister." I said and turned my back on her.

Soon people stop dancing. It was a tip for them think of leave and I positioned myself strategically in the foyer to say goodbye. Half hour later, it was just Johnny, Mercedes, Julio, Rachel, Quinn and me. More or less to Quinn, I would say, because she drank too much. Rachel and I, with some support from Mercedes, helped to take her to my sister's bedroom.

"Fuck!" Rachel said after Quinn passed out on her bed. "It's been a while since the last time I saw Quinn like this."

"Maybe it's your fault." I said.

"Maybe we should discuss it later, Santana."

"Oh man, you seriously need a new decoration." Thank god for Mercedes clueless. She was watching around while Rachel took Quinn's boots off. Honestly, I didn't see anything bad in the décor. It had a nice painting, dark wood contrasting with bright walls. It was even elegant.

"Ok, Quinn is safe and sleeping. You can go now."

Rachel remained in the room, perhaps to take a shower or whatever. I didn't care. Meanwhile, Mercedes and I met our men sitting on the sofa. Johnny was exhausted and Julio was still drinking.

"If I knew that my cousins gave good parties in New York, I would come to town sooner."

"Don't count on it." I collapsed on the couch beside Johnny. "Good thing I have preserved my room clean and untouched, because I would hate, hate and hate if I had to fix it before sleep. And about that, we have a sleeping bag if you two want to spend the night."

"I'm inclined to accept the offer." Mercedes said. "I hate to take cabs this late."

"The office and the sleeping bag is all yours."

"So, aren't you going to open the gifts you won? What discourtesy, Satan."

"Open gifts means more dirt, Wheezy. Let's do it tomorrow, then I'll send an email thanking everyone even though I didn't asked for them."

"Always pragmatic..." Julio smiled.

"This party was glorious! I caught two of my colleagues kissing in the kitchen. I don't know if they are having an affair, but one is engaged with another person: a huge bitch from Wall Street."

"Did you saw that Andrew was flirting with Santiago's girl?" Johnny put out laughing.

"Really?" My jaw was on the floor.

"Andrew, your ex-boyfriend?" Mercedes asked.

"Yeah. Santiago is Quinn's BFF and roommate." I explained.

"Andrew wasn't so naughty when he was with you." Johnny pointed.

"He wouldn't be that crazy. Do you have some problem, Wheezy?" I asked when Mercedes started laughing.

"No, Satan. Somehow I just remembered the day we nearly punch each other in the choir because of Puck."

"Puck? The father of Quinn's daughter?" Johnny was intrigued. I told him several things about my past in Lima, but, maybe, I forgot details about Puck.

"The one. Santana was dating him and Brittany at the same time. One day, Santana let him down and Puck tried to flirt with me, but only because I was a cheerio. This one here was possessed in jealous and wanted to fight me just because I had stolen her man."

"As if." I crossed my arms.

"On the other hand, when we found out we were doing the most amazing duet, Santana and I did some serious shit, my dear." She reached out and we high five.

"Better than I and Finn?" Rachel joined us. I was right: she did take a shower. "I doubt it."

"You and Finn were tedious shit that Mr. Schue made us swallowing it dry just because he was Finn's lover and you were a bossy that could pass over the world to have all the solos." I spited.

"Santana and I did a duet on River Deep Mountain High. It was spectacular, simply."

"That's when Mr. Schue allowed someone else to have a solo in the competitions. I sang Valerie and Rachel always complains about it. But it totally was worth." Again Mercedes and I did high five.

"It was my idea to give the ground for you both in Nationals, don't you remember?" Rachel crossed her arms.

"But before that, Cedes, Artie, Puck and I hold our rank in the regional with BIOTA. Then you came there with original song composed by Quinn and I did the backs." [_A.N. see the Saga fic_]

"The original song was writing by me and Quinn." Rachel corrected me.

"Ah, then you guys also did duets?" Johnny asked.

"At school?" I tried to make sure. "I've never done a duet with Rachel in the Glee Club." I pointed to my sister. "Actually, she tried to make that Glee Club a Rachel Berry-Lopez show with special guest of Finn Hudson and the rest of us."

"Wow! Not even Quinn sing, or Mike?"

"Mike was the dancer along Britt. Quinn can dance and she has a nice sweet voice, only it's not strong and she can't do the high notes. Yet she made one solo in a local competition and she harmonized with Rachel in the Nationals we won. I would say it was almost a duet."

"Quinn was amazing in the Nationals." Rachel reiterated. "But I wouldn't say the same in the sectionals. She and Sam were terrible and I hate to say it, but you saved us with your solo in Valerie."

"Glad you think so from your girl, Rachel." Mercedes criticized.

"My love for Quinn has nothing to do with my critical faculties."

"Bitch" I fired.

"I think you're confused, Satan." My sister retorted. "The bitch of the family has always been you."

I threatened to get up from that couch and slap some sense in that midget bitch, but Johnny held me.

"You should be smarter, dwarf." I pointed my finger at her. "Because the way you're raising your parrot nose, you won't be able to see over the shit you've been doing."

"What the fuck am I doing, Santana?" She snapped. "Working my ass off to build a career? Is that what you call bullshit?"

"We all are working ours asses off." I snapped. "But nobody here is dazzled by fame and money to start turning their backs on the people who really matter. That's what you're doing with Quinn and our true friends."

"Let Quinn out of it. You don't know what you're saying."

"I don't know what I'm saying? So keep your nose up, treating her indifferently, to see how I really don't know what I'm saying."

"Girls!" Julio stood up and spun between us. "It's not the moment to argue. We all drink too much and we're not thinking right. We are tired and saying things to regret it later. So, calm down!"

The party was really over. Mercedes and Julio decided it was better to take a cab that late than sleep in our home. You know what? I also thought it was better. I went to sleep with Johnny by my side really mad with Rachel's attitudes. I never thought, in my whole life, that I would defend and like Quinn more than my own sister. The world was inside out, for sure.


	5. Chapter 5

**Los Angeles**

**(Quinn)**

"I hate move." Rachel snapped.

"Why? This is the easiest moving you've ever done. You only brought one suitcase. It's amazing."

"It would be silly bringing my entire wardrobe. I will spend most of the time in costumes and Kurt will be around to do some shopping with me."

We arrived in Los Angeles in a beautiful sunny day. Rachel was nervous, stressed and I thought it would be better if I accompany her. As soon as we arrived, I got the house keys: a nice house in a good neighborhood in Santa Monica. The maintenance of it was in the care of Mr. Weiz's company that existed only for the conservation of his real states. I can't imagine how many he has, but they should be numerous. Of the amount, two were now Rachel and Santana's: their apartment in New York and the house of Santa Monica.

The place was already completely furnished, with economical and simple decor. Rachel, if she wanted to, could enhance and customize it to her liking. The house had four large bedrooms upstairs, one suite, two ordinaries bedrooms and a small one in the mezzanine without any furniture. On the ground floor had the dining room and living room, a large kitchen, office/library and a bathroom. The service area was in the basement and it was connected to a large airy space in which Rachel could make a private studio. I didn't think Santana would care about that house if her life was completely in New York. There was also a large garden, no pool, but with good space for market garden. Not that Rachel liked to plant anything: she' not Santana. The garage was a kind of tool shed with space for two cars inside.

"I liked the house." I commented as we explored the place.

"It's a lot like my parents' house in Lima. It's only smaller and without a pool."

"This can be an advantage. Why would you want to live in a bigger place? And you hate pools."

"It wouldn't. But it's nice to have space to host. I'm sure that my parents will want to come with Beth. Or maybe even Santana would like to spend a weekend with Johnny."

"Or I..."

"Well, Quinn, you have my bedroom." Rachel smiled and gave me a light kiss on the lips. "But before the fun, we need to grocery shopping, clean a little bit and everything. Kurt and Mike must come here later."

"Later when?"

"They did not say."

Cleaning the house was part of the deal I made with my girlfriend when I said I would come to help her. Good thing is that the house was already ready thanks for Weiz's company. So everything was in place. But the fridge was completely empty, there wasn't anything in the cupboards and Rachel maybe would like to buy new utensils. Rachel rented a car to get around town until she could buy one if she wanted to. Her new place wasn't far from Century City, so, she could just call a taxi. Despite having been to LA a few times, Rachel always confused the places and our mobility was based on GPS.

Despite the work and fatigue, I loved spending part of my time with Rachel doing small household things. Saved the proper proportions, it was like going back to that time when we were a bunch of students without money sharing a small apartment in Brooklyn. Life was good and I didn't know it. Now, sometimes Rachel does things and speaks as if on autopilot and she also is easily irritated by little things. But, sometimes, she looks at me in a way that makes me melt. And I know she still loves me. If she was somebody else, I was sure that we would be over. But that was Rachel, the love of my life. So I tried to stay there as discreet as possible to expect pass this storm inside her.

"Rach?" I said as I put the food in the cupboard.

"What?"

"We will be okay, right?"

She stopped to clean the fridge and looked at me with teary eyes. It broke my heart.

"I know we'll be fine, Quinn. But that doesn't stop this uncomfortable cold feel in my belly. I... I was never alone so far. I mean, Santana was always by my side, and so do you. Now, I'll stay alone here."

"Hey." I ran my hand gently on her face and pulled her into a gentle kiss. "You'll be okay, Rach. I promise. In these last few weeks I have made up a mental exercise which is basically about saying a mantra: six months go fast."

"Is it working?"

"I don't know, because I only put in place to enforce it back to New York." Rachel forced a sheepish smile and kiss me. "Don't worry, ok? You have Mike, Kurt and Brittany. They are family too and I'm sure they will give you all support you need to."

"What that you?"

"I'll be swamped at work. They will relocate me to be cameo at the MTV show, and if it works out, I'll have a routine to face in New Rochelle studios three times a week, an extra day on location and perhaps have my Friday off, the day I booked to write my thesis."

"Sometimes I can't believe that my Quinn will graduate. I'm so proud!"

"I hope you can go to New York at my graduation day."

"We will see." She went back to the fridge.

Sometimes I'm scared how Rachel could be affectionate with me in an instant, and in the other I get a small dose of ice. These alternations didn't exist before our temporary break and I was starting to get tired and frustrated.

The doorbell rang and I ran to answer. To my surprise, who appeared at our door was Brittany and Kurt. I use to saw them on social networks. Brittany far less than Kurt. And these two were there in person, smiling with flowers and a basket of cookies.

"I can't believe you're here too!" Kurt gave me a tight hug. "Rachel said that only she would come to L.A."

"She didn't lie." I said to my friend. "I'm coming back to New York. I just came here to help Rachel to settle."

"Hey guys!" Rachel accepted the gifts after hugged Brittany. "Come on, come on! We need to celebrate our reunion!"

It was great to see those faces that, in a way, were family. Brittany was very beautiful and mature with long hair and bangs. Kurt won some muscles and a more robust body compared to the skinny kid he was back in Lima. Rachel ordered Chinese. Meanwhile, I show the house to our friends and opened a bottle of wine.

"Where is your kid, Britt? How is he?" I asked.

"Rob is with my mom right now." She put a lock of hair behind her ear. "And Jim's working. He is rehearsing for a new show, and I'm teaching dance for little girls and teens. Sometimes I'm called to dance on some music videos."

"Really?" Rachel asked. "Santana said something about you doing videos but she didn't give me more details."

"It's not a big deal. It's like the time I danced in Miley's tour: I just stand there in the background doing my movements."

"Have you ever thought about get a job on some TV show as a choreographer or something?" Rachel wondered. "Mike can tell you to some work of this kind."

"I don't know. Mike was there the other day saying he would set up a dance studio and asked if I wanted to be his partner. I think it's a cool idea, but I'm with Jim, he's the father of my kid and I work for him. It would be weird."

"It may be wrong now." Rachel said. "But don't discard this proposal through, Britt. We need to keep some doors open and we don't know about tomorrow."

"And you Kurt?" I asked. "Still dating Karofsky?"

"Rachel didn't tell you?" He frowned. "Karofsky moved to South Dakota. I'm almost single now."

"Almost single?" I asked and Rachel giggled. What she wasn't telling me?

"Blaine and I are talking again. He has this band that performs regularly at a pub and he invited me to sing sometimes. It's good singing in public again. I almost forgot how much fun I have doing it."

"Uh la la." I teased.

Our food arrived and we opened another bottle. Brittany helped Rachel to set the table, so we could eat and talk more.

"I still don't understand why you haven't moved to New York yet, Kurt. You had to go there to strengthen our family. Not to mention that there you have so many good opportunities as here. And you should try Broadway! I have some influence now, you know? You can take classes and try smaller parts to make your name known."

"The truth?" He took a sip of wine and fill his cup again. "Remember that director who recruited people at Nationals in New York? The one who gave you that card and passed by me as I wasn't there? That was my first reality check. My second one was when I made application for all good drama schools in New York and wasn't accepted in any. Then I got to join a small LA theater company. Yet the director said that while I sing well, he would hardly find something for me out of the stereotype of the effeminate gay or the magical creature. Let's face it: I'm not an alpha gay as Blaine or Karofsky."

"But that's bullshit!" Rachel protested, but she, more than anyone, knew things in the industry worked that way. She herself could never be seen publicly with me as what we really are: girlfriends. Kurt knew he had a limited range of roles and this could be very frustrating. "Broadway is the place that has more gays per square meter! Of course you would fit."

"Really, Rachel? Do you think we could do, for example, a romantic couple?" When she stammered to respond, Kurt saw that he was right. I get it. Working as a cinematographer and photographer Bad Things gave me access to listen nasty comments of the crew intended for models and actors. I knew the casting directors would look at him and say that he had no chance unless they seek one stereotypical role that Kurt could fit.

Mike arrived shortly after when the second bottle was almost empty. Lucky he brought some more. Their presence made me sure that Rachel would have the support she needed, regardless of her castmates. She wasn't alone in the city.

"I'll just shoot now in May." Mike said about the new indie film that he would be part. "It will be nice not to be the villain minion this time. The good thing is that I don't die until the end of the plot." Kurt and Rachel began to laugh. Rachel liked to laugh freely and high. I loved that about her, but something was out of place at that moment. It seemed forced.

"Will you shoot in Seattle?" Rachel asked.

"I'm very excited to drive that UFO!"

"Take an acid and go." Kurt shot and left us all wide-eyed, but Brittany, who seemed to miss. "What?" He tried to defend himself. "I'm not a junkie, but I went to college, honey. I tried things at a dance floor."

"Did you try a woman?" Mike challenged.

"Not that, my dear friend."

"Oh, Kurt, are you the only one here who has never tasted a vagina?" I teased. "This is disappointing."

"I kissed Brittany that time." He defended himself.

"It was just one time and your Father stopped it. You broke up with me the next day." Brittany smiled.

"How is it called the male version of gold star?" Mike looked at me.

"Really gay?" I shot and everyone laughed but Kurt.

"Come on! I know I am gay since I was four! And then, Mr. Chang, just as I am the only one here who has never experienced a vagina, you have never experienced a good dick."

"I'm reserving myself for the doc's finger at my first prostate exam." Mike raised his glass of wine and started laughing. "And I say that I am not the only one here that never has a dick inside, right miss Berry-Lopez?"

"Technically..." She told softly and I felt my face flush. "I've never had a real one inside. But I know the feeling."

"Oh god, Quinn!" Mike greeted me and I was even redder.

"And I work in a HBO show... well, you saw the scenes! I get naked and have a sex scene at least once a season." She said and I rolled her eyes.

"Speaking of dick, how's Finn?" Mike asked. "The other day I saw an old photo of our Glee Club before we leave. I missed that guys… even Puck!"

"I didn't understand your relationship between Finn and dick." Kurt laughed. "But he's fine as far as I know. Finn was living in Detroit last year, but he came back to Lima this year. I also know that he went to see Rachel's latest show on Broadway."

"Really?" Rachel looks surprised. I was surprised! "I didn't see Finn. He even contacted me. If I knew, he would have talked to me in the dressing room and we could have dined together. I could have called Quinn and Santana to come along or inviting him to come to my house."

"He never lost a play of yours." Kurt said. "I thought you were talking with each other…"

"Yes… on my twitter private account! And he never post anything personal."

"Oh!"

"Yeah! Oh!"

Knowing that Finn was in New York just to see Rachel's performance gave me chills. It's not that I feel threatened by him. No more. Rom Tyler was a far greater threat than anyone else. But I was worry. What must have passed on his head to see Rachel on stage without being noticed. It's clear that he still has a thing for my girl, but after all this time? On the other side, it's just like him do this kind of mess and come in a self-pity. I could see Rachel calling him just to say hi e suddenly he would feel like a hero again. God, I hate Finn Hudson! What a dick!

Kurt and Mike left because they had other things to do, but Brittany stayed to help us clean up the mess before she left. Brittany felt confident to bomb Rachel with questions about Santana and, more specifically, about her relationship with Johnny. It was like she was jealous and Rachel had the cruelty to emphasize how Santana was happy with her new boyfriend.

"He will move in now that you're here?" She asked as I wiped the glasses.

"I don't know. I don't think so. But it wouldn't bother me. That apartment is too big for Santana being alone."

"Oh!" Brittany pouted and I began to prepare for the pump. "Maybe I'll find some time to finally make a visit. I miss her."

"Aren't you married, Brittany?" Rachel already shot without hiding irritation. "So why are you talking about it now?"

"Why? Can't I be with Jim and be close again with my best friend?"

"You know that things aren't as simple as that between the two of you."

"How so?" Brittany defended herself with a question and Rachel sighed.

"Don't be sly, Britt. You can be slow for many things, but I know very well that when it comes to Santana, you're a specialist. Do you think I'm blind? My sister has always been in love with you and she would dump Johnny if you pop your finger. It's not fair and the best you do is stay away."

"You got it wrong, Rachel." Brittany increased the tone. "I've always loved Santana and I just want what's best for her. I'm not saying I want my ex-lover back. I'm saying that I miss my best friend."

"You didn't think like that when you dismissed her to stay with Jim."

"What?! I was pregnant and she was on the other side of the country. Jim gave me all the support I needed. My family gave all support for me to stay with him. But Santana was away in New York living her life. When Rob was born, Santana wasn't here. She never showed up. When she asked me to choose her at your parents' marriage, of course I said no. I had to move on!"

"I think you two should breathe a little." I tried to consider, but the impression I had was that I was invisible in that house.

"You talk as if Santana hadn't care about you. But I have news, Brittany, I was the one who held her drinking because she was too depressed when she knew about the pregnancy. I treated her gastritis because she lived anxious and full of problems to solve. I endured her rudeness and bad mood when you made your decision. But now that Santana's going through a good emotional time with a young man who truly loves her, you tell me you want to show up because you miss her? Do me a favor: if your intention is mess up her head, just don't! If you really love her, don't disturb her relationship with Johnny. Just forget it. I love you, Britt. You were part of my family and I wish you only the very best. Therefore, in the name of our friendship, leave Santana alone."

"You are not the queen of the world." Brittany was teary-eyed.

"Try me."

"Come on, Britt. It's late and you have a son to take care" I tried to be cautious in approach and held her hand. "I'll take you to your bike."

She grabbed her purse and left the house. Her motorcycle it was parked in front. We walked in silence to the vehicle.

"Rachel is just nervous because she will stay here alone."

"No, Quinn. Rachel meant every word, as always."

"That was just a misunderstanding caused by too much wine. Take a few days and you'll make up. I need you to take care of her, and Santana as well."

"Maybe." She wiped a tear and hugged me.

"Give Rob a kiss." Brittany smiled before putting the helmet and left who knows what condition.

When I was back inside, I caught Rachel also wiping tears. I hugged her from behind and tried to comfort her. Fighting so with one of her childhood friends shouldn't be easy.

"I thought you liked Britt. She is one of your oldest friends as well."

"I love her, Quinn." Rachel broke free of my arms to look at me from the front. "But her presence is very toxic to Santana."

"Don't you think your sister is big enough to decide what is best for her or not? And Brittany wasn't talking about have Santana again. They already talk by Skype sometimes. So what's the matter if Brittany wants to see your sister in person?"

"Not always we can see the big picture by ourselves, Quinn. Sometimes you have to take help from an outsider. What I know is that Britt blurs Santana's vision. The last word on this subject is Santana's, but that doesn't mean I should wash my hands and passively see the world on fire. Santana is happy with Johnny and I know she really loves him, but when it comes about Britt..."

"Okay, I don't want to argue about it."

I embrace my girlfriend. We kissed a little bit before we back to work, this time, we locked the house and set the bed. Then, Rachel and I decided to take a shower together. That's when I took the opportunity to play a little, after all, who knows when we would do it again. We kissed and we began to run our hands in each other's body. Rachel turned and pressed her back against me. I loved that position. It's good to massage her breasts as I kiss that beautiful neck and do some pressing against her fantastic little ass. After playing around, my right hand slipped further down and started to touch and circling her clit until I felt I could slip my fingers inside her. It's so erotic doing this lovemaking in the shower. Rachel had a fast orgasm and tried to repay me still in the shower, getting to her knees. But I refused. I had other plans in mind.

We dry our bodies and lay naked in bed.

"We'll be fine, right?" Rachel ran her hands gently through my body.

"Of course we will." I hugged her and ran my hands on her back. I could tell she was sore in the shoulders. "Come here." I told her to lie down on her stomach and I began to massage her. She moaned loudly grateful for the care.

"This is very good. You always make perfect massages."

I worked my hands at her shoulders for some good minutes, until started to kiss her back.

Rachel turned and kissed me on the mouth as she pushed me to the side, trying to stay on top of me. I allowed her to dominate and opened my legs in anticipation of the touch where I most needed, and Rachel wasted no time. I was so wet down there. First, Rachel works with her small but skilled fingers. In and out, in and out, with fast strokes. She was driving me crazy. Then, to my pleasure, she decided to go down on me. My orgasm came out accompanied by a proud smile of Rachel.

"You like it when I let you stay on top." I smiled lazily.

"I love it." She kissed my abs. "I love to taste your skin and do whatever I want. I love drinking your sweet juice." She kissed me inside my thigh. "I love that you agreed to depilate my playground with laser."

"It hurts like crazy but totally worth it." I smiled weakly as she continued kissing me.

"I told you!"

She lifted her body and repositioned herself so we could scissor. The night promised to be deliciously long. It had to be. It was our last weekend until who knows when. I tried not to think about it and only focus on Rachel.


	6. Chapter 6

**Family**

**(Santana)**

Do you know what is awkward? Introduce your lover to your parents.

I did this a few times in my life. The first one was in New York with Paul on my graduation day in Stuyvesant. And the bizarre fact in this story was that we broke up right after. I never introduced Puck because he was just a booty call and papi hated him, anyway. Brittany was never introduced because she is family and we never officially were girlfriends. Andrew's introduction was casual. He already met my parents in New York and when I brought him as my date in my parent's wedding party, Shelby didn't give a shit and papi was too drunk after Rachel announced her failed engagement with Quinn.

But then, I was on the way to Lima to answer a call from my parents and I took the opportunity to take Johnny with me and introduce him officially as my boyfriend. Quinn came along because her presence was part of the request packet.

"This GPS must have a problem." Johnny complained while driving, making me open my eyes.

"Are you so disoriented that can't read maps? And why didn't you turn the sound on?" Was it so difficult to track a GPS?

"Driving is not my thing. Driving looking GPS is worse. Driving listening a GPS is the worst."

"You look like a grandma behind the wheel. It's annoying!" He never exceeded the speed limit, a fact that my parents would appreciate, by the way. "By the way, take the next exit and then turn the next right."

"If you complain so much the way I drive, why don't you take the wheel?"

"Because I'm sleepy, I told you." I said. "And I drove 90% of the path."

At one point, my sight began to blur a bit, so I asked Johnny to drive since Quinn was sleeping because she took some Dramamine. All I knew was that she drank too much at a celebration party at Bad Things after they got a huge account with General Motors and because ABC approved the pilot of a new comedy. When I picked Quinn at her place to our road trip, she was half awake, like a zombie. Good for her that her girl was in the other side of the country because Rachel would hate to see her like that: just one more trouble at their already damaged relationship.

I wanted to see when the bomb exploded. I had an interesting conversation with my sister by skype on last Thursday, the day she received the scripts of the rest of the season. Rachel was almost in a panic because at the seventh episode, she and Rom Tyler would have a sex scene: a really hot one. Oh man, it was the same Rom Tyler who kissed Rachel once and Quinn slept with another girl as a payback. Rachel and Rom are good friends, but Quinn hates him with all her soul. I can't imagine how Quinn will react when Rachel tell that Rom Tyler will grab her boobs and have his penis at her ass. Quinn will freak out. Still, I said Rachel to tell everything, including the day this scene will be shot. Their relationship is in crisis, and hide something like that won't help anything.

But the reason why Quinn was with us had nothing to do with Rachel. The biggest reason was Beth. When my little adopted sister knew she wasn't born from Shelby's belly, she started asking too many questions. I bet it was also a school thing. At this age, many kids questioned whether Rachel and I were even sisters. Papi was always of the opinion that it was better to tell the truth, so he and dad told everything to me and Rachel as soon as we was able to understand. It wasn't easy growing up with two dads when most of our friends had a mom and a dad. At school, sometimes it was hell and I put on a fight with some kids because they made petty jokes about Rachel and I and our dads. But knowing all truth helped me a lot.

Rachel and I are twins, but we also are half-sisters. Papi's sperm got one of Shelby's eggs and dad's sperm got another one that created Rachel. Everything happened in a lab, which is weird, but not as much as if it would happen by natural process. Oh! Gross! It's amazing how genetics proceeds. Even though I looks like my aunt Rosa, I inherited Shelby's myopia, her hand shape, blood type, the fact that I can bend my tongue (papi can't do it, but Shelby can and it's a genetic thing), and who knows what genetic diseases she must have passed to me. Rachel looks like Shelby a lot, except for the Jew nose and the less angled clavicle she inherited from daddy.

I remember that my dad invented creative explanations of our birth. He had an artist's soul. Dad invented a play with clay pieces when we were three or four just to explain how we could have two dads and not a mother. Rachel and I already knew what it was artificial insemination in preschool. It's odd thinking about it, but it's true.

We never openly talked about it, but it's not needed. That doesn't change the love I feel for my Berry side. I'm proud to be a Berry, even though genetically speaking I'm Corcoran-Lopez. There is no blood to change that. Genetics doesn't explain love. It also doesn't explain why Rachel was always much more connected to papi. What about Beth? She's six and knows almost nothing. She just has questions and a great imagination. I hope she can understand that family is made by love, not blood.

There was one more reason to go to Lima this weekend: my parents were moving out to Columbus. Papi accepted an opportunity to join the team of surgeons from Mt. Carmel, which was a great hospital with more resources and a better salary. At Lima, he was almost a hero working with a minimal team, treating complicated cases with basic equipments and nothing more. Papi became a reference of general surgery, but he was getting tired, and older. This new job will give him more time for his family and he will resume his research on improvements in surgery in diabetic people funded by OSU. He was even thinking on teach there after quit the hospital life. Shelby will finish her contract at Carmel High after move to Columbus with Beth. Shelby is smart and she's already talking with others schools and even with OSU's Theatre School to teach there. She could do it, for sure. Shelby studied at The Barrow Group in New York and did a four-week musical theatre workshop at New York Film Academy, she had a small career on Broadway, she taught theatre and coach glee clubs mostly in High Schools, she's five times national champ coaching Glee Clubs. I'm sure she will be hire anytime.

Until then, hard work: they will buy a new home, reform, move in, Beth will be enrolled in a new school. My main task here was to help my parents to do some math and let my parents know what I would keep, donate or throw away. We've been living in New York for five years, but Rachel and I still have a lot of things at that house: toys, school stuffs, kid's stuffs, our room's stuffs, cds, books, dvds, our bikes, and collections of everything…

Since I was in Lima, I would take some time visiting abuela, who wasn't well. Papi reported sadly, there wasn't much to do in her case. Papi was a doctor with some interesting ideas. He said that there was no medicine to fight against our own body program. He supported the theory that each born with a certain time. What happened was the route of accidents, as the one that took daddy away, unexpected illnesses, violence, and suicide. And about suicide, papi means whatever we consciously do to damage our own body: drugs, too much alcohol, junk food, sedentary life, risky sex life, etc. So, it's not just about shoot yourself in the head.

Abuela has a degenerative disease at an advanced stage and all we could do is provide her comfort and a worthy end. I knew she was even weaker than the last time I saw her. Papi provided a suitable room at aunt Maria's house for someone in her condition. Abuela had a proper bed and a nurse. She had all the necessary assistance to ensure all maximum comfort at the end of her life. Abuela is the strongest female presence of my life. She's the one who helped most papi and daddy taking care of me and Rachel and some of my most precious memories of my childhood were by her side, at that great backyard. Knowing that she's dying makes me cry all the time.

"Turn the next right." I told Johnny.

We took the main avenue in Lima's downtown and then rounded the old S. Pine to get into my neighborhood. I gave the latest directions to Johnny until we reach the large two-story house.

"Is it here?" Johnny was pale.

"Welcome to the old Berry-Lopez home."

"Good!" He parked the car in front of the garage. Despite our small discussions, I found his jitters cute. I kissed him on his lips before getting off the car and open the back door. "Quinn, stop drooling on that pillow!"

She woke with a start and stood blinking for some time as anyone who would wake up as soon as possible. She ran her hand through her hair, searched the water bottle and took a good huge sup before getting off the car. Thus, three of us went to the porch and rang the bell. Two seconds later Shelby answered.

"Santana!" She said in an exaggerated way and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Johnny was awkwardly shy. Quinn arrived disheveled carrying the two pillows and suddenly I was being introduced to two strangers. They were two women watched us curiously. One seemed to be twenty-some years old and the other was an older woman.

"Clarie and Julie, this is my daughter Santana. And these are John and Quinn, her friends." She said forcing a smile.

"Oh, your daughter looks like your husband." The oldest observed and I made a great effort to not roll my eyes.

"Santana looks like her father but we are more alike than you can possibly think. Right San?" I just smirked and nodded. "Rachel is the one who looks like me."

"Yes, I can see by the photo." The older pointed to a photo on the sideboard of me, my sister, Beth and my parents.

"The most amazing thing is that they are twins." The newest one said and I struggled to not roll his eyes, being rude and go straight to my old room. And the older woman stared and frowned at Quinn as she knew her or something.

"Aren't you Russell Fabray's daughter?"

"Yes ma'am. And you are mrs Goldman."

"Yes, my dear. Send my regards when you see your father."

I didn't like the way she said this, as she knows something suspicious and dirty.

"Mom." I said to Shelby. "If you don't mind, we just arrived from a seven-hour trip and I need a shower."

"Of course, sweetheart. Go house your friends and rest a little bit."

Before that, Beth, Lassie the Lab and another kid entered the living room.

"Santy!" She jumped and gave me a great welcome hug.

"Hey kickass princes! How's doing?"

"Great. It's so cool that you're here."

"Yeah, I'm glad too. Hey, Johnny and Quinn are here. Go say hello!"

Beth just stands there and say "hello" to them.

"Santy, come to play with me and Carol."

"Later, kid."

"Your sister is tired, Beth. Go play outside with your Carol and the dog, please."

What the hell was that? I lead Quinn and Johnny upstairs. Quinn would have Rachel's old room and Johnny would stay at mine's.

"Beautiful décor." Johnny put his bag on the floor, and pointed to the poster. "Now I get the idea what influenced you to smoke a pot from time to time."

"Sorry to say, but this poster is purely decorative. If I would put on some with real meaning, I would choose Alanis Morissette. The problem is that I think her posters are very tacky. It could also be one of the jazz guys, but it would seem pretentious. When I found this poster in a bookstore in Cleveland, I bought it in a heartbeat. In the summer of the following year, I went to London and tried weed for the first time. Isn't it ironic?"

"Not so much." Johnny was still aware of the environment. He went to my window and looked the backyard. "Oh, look! The famous pool! Your folk's house is beautiful, san. It's a shame that they are thinking on selling it here."

"If it were to take into account the emotional reasons, this house would be forever with us. But papi asked for an honest opinion and I did the math. The properties in Lima are almost 30% cheaper than in Columbus and my father does not have money to buy another similar house without appealing to some loans. Shelby's financial situation is good to pay the bills, a rent, and do little savings to pay Beth's college, but not to buy a house without make a loan from the bank. And under no circumstances they should mortgage. The other solution is rent it here and save the money to pay the rental of the other house. But it's not a comfy situation. That's why it's better to sell it away and buy a good real state in Columbus. This, of course, is a cold and pragmatic analysis."

"Who am I to disagree?" He sat on my bed. "I know my brother paid good money to keep that cabin in the mountains, even with the rent in high season. Well I try to help when I can and would be simpler if I had not roasted almost all the money from the sale of my parents' house in marijuana, whiskey and spree."

"Why are you two decided to maintain the cabin?"

"Technically the cabin is his."

"I see..." I lay down on my bed and relaxed a little. Johnny continued attentive to the new environment and looked again through the window.

"Nice to see the place where you grew up. How do you not become one of those rich and spoiled girls?"

"Believe me... I had my consumerist spoiled phase and I burst the credit card a few times until my parents shorten its limit. New York gave its contribution as well… and abuela."

"The one we will visit tomorrow?" I nodded. "How come?"

"She's socialist and worked for the communist party when she was young in Chile. I read Karl Marx because of her."

"Really? You? The pig capitalist?"

"That's a trick about Karl Marx: he was a liberal. He believed in open markets and everything. The main point at his philosophy was the fair income distribution and rights. And you have to take into consideration that he thought of socialism based on the time in which he lived. In addition, the Soviets just fucked everything up. They didn't do a society plan but a power plan based on control, bureaucracy, arms and corruption. Not that we are much different, but, at least, I'm free to say whatever I want."

"Wow!"

"I'm sorry." I smiled. "It's just… abuela loves to talk about politics and all these things. I remember she used to make Rachel, I and my cousins Julio and Daniela to work at the church bazaar in Lima Heights Adjacent. She wants to teach us a lesson, but it was just fun."

"It seems you had a great childhood."

"Yes, I did. And what about you?"

"You know I grew up in Danbury. Our house was much smaller than yours." He mused. "We lived next to one of several ponds in the city. Kevin, my brother, was a kind of a boys gang and he used to bring girls in these places to try to fuck them. Kevin called me gay because I wasn't obsessed on boobs at that time. He used to show me his Playboys and says that I should to make my penis hard to be able to take some vaginas. But I found everything gross."

"How old were you then?" I was curious.

"Kevin was about 16 and I was 11. The girls scared me back then."

We heard a knocking at the door and I answer it. It was Shelby and she looked at us suspiciously.

"Those women gone?" I asked.

"They just left!" She pulled me into a hug that I soon corresponded. "I'm so glad to see you, Santana."

"Me too!" I admitted. After all, loved my old mom.

"Let me see you." And here came the flat inspection every mother did. Shelby looked me up down, hands in my face. "You seem stronger."

"I'm going to college almost every day by bike. I got in shape again."

"And how are you, Johnny?" She said in a more austere tone.

"I'm fine, Shelby. Thanks." He briefly hugged her.

Suddenly the butterflies flew in my stomach again. Even more because Quinn just left the room and was a few feet away watching the scene. I swallowed hard. It was only Shelby. All though she was my mother, but still wasn't half bad at these things than it would be my father.

"Shelby Corcoran-Lopez." I said nervously. "I would like to introduce John Edward Hall Jr., my boyfriend."

"There is information that you could have told me in a phone call, right Santana Berry-Lopez?" Her eyes widened and I was even more nervous. In fact, I said nothing to my parents about my new relationship. "It would be good to know these things before you bring your boyfriend to meet your parents at a special time."

"Sorry. But I thought you wouldn't mind since it's Johnny." I frowned.

"I don't mind. Welcome, Johnny. I'm glad you and my daughter are an item now."

"So… who were those women?" I asked. "You seemed somewhat affected with their presence."

"She's my current boss." Shelby explained.

"And her husband owns the main law firm from Lima." Quinn said, calling our attention to her.

"That's right." Shelby confirmed.

"Mr. Goldman dealt with my parent's divorce papers, so there is a good chance that your employer knows the whole story involving Beth. I hope it doesn't bother you." Quinn explained.

"Her husband is one of OSU's funders and I want a recommendation letter. But I don't think Beth's case would disturb it. So, don't worry. Clarie and I have a nice employment relationship and she's a reasonable person. Furthermore, Beth and Carol, her granddaughter, are good friends at school."

"Oh!" I said. "If I knew it, I would greet her better. Sorry, Shelbs."

"Don't call me Shelbs!"

"Sorry, mother." I emphasized the word mother.

"That's better."

"Mom!" Beth came running. "Dad is cursing Santy down there because she blocked the driveway."

I looked at Johnny and I started laughing. He was red as a pepper.

"Don't worry, hon. I get it."

I went downstairs with Beth after me. Outside, my father looked tense, stressed. We hugged briefly before I park the car properly.

"How are things at the hospital, papi?"

"Corridas, hija. Temgo poco tiempo para hace el papeleo y completar mi trabajo."

Beth interrupted because she hugged papi. That little girl really loved my old man. I caught papi's folder while Beth got in the house with her little feet on papi's and the two made some steps balancing for a few meters. I remember Rachel and I used to play the same way with him and Dad. We bet which pair could go further and faster. Dad and I always lost to papi and Rachel.

"How's the trip." He asked me while Beth was still playing with him.

"Good."

"Are you hungry?"

"Starving. We left New York before breaking dawn and we only stopped for real once to fill the tank and go to the bathroom."

"So, did you stop more than once?"

"And that time, already in Ohio, when I let Johnny driving because I felt tired."

"Johnny?"

"Well, he's here… with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"He's my company."

"What about Quinn?"

"Quinn's having a hangover."

"Oh! Quieres saber?" He said when he came in the room. "It's a beautiful day, so we could lunch at Irina's." I nodded and Beth celebrated. Irina's is a fine self service restaurant we used to go every time my parents feel lazy to cook. It's only two blocks away, so we could go there walking. At that time the troupe went downstairs. Johnny was the last and he was scared. Papi also stopped when we saw him. "Hey Johnny. I didn't know you were coming with the girls."

"Papi." I took a deep breath. I went to Johnny and held his hand. "Johnny and I are dating."

This time, papi turned white. He was reluctant, but reached out to greet my boyfriend.

"John..."

"Hello Mr. Lopez."

"Welcome to my home." Papi was still reluctant.

"Thank you."

"Good." Shelby tried to break the tension. "I hearted you saying something about lunch at Irina's."

"Of course!" Papi recovered somewhat from the shock. "I think it would be critical to have this moment as a family, right?"

Fundamental before the bomb goes off in the poor little head of Beth. After tidying here and there, papi back from his room wearing shorts, basic shirt and sneakers. Shelby was in sneakers and a simple dress. Quinn also wore dress and her old boots. Johnny and I were the T-shirt and jeans couple. We walked ahead from the others playing with Beth. Soon she got used to the idea that I had a boyfriend and took good advantage by Johnny be physically strong. He threw her up like a doll and that brat was laughing loud. I wouldn't be surprised if Beth developed a little child crush on Johnny.

"She's super cute." Johnny confided to me when we had a moment alone.

"Tell me about it. I am preparing psychologically for later. And there's all the talk of selling our house when I don't want my father to sell."

"But what about all math you did to prove that he has to sell?"

"Cold numbers. I didn't put in the account my childhood, my memories. I grew up in Lima, most of my family at Lopez side still lives here. It's complicated."

"What Rachel thinks?"

"She likes the house, the souvenirs, but she's ok on the sale. I wish I had this detachment."

"She's attached to you and to your parents. Not to material things. This is the meaning about a family: Love, not the goods."

I avoided looking at my boyfriend. I knew he was speaking from experience. Not that his family was bad because, from what he told me, they were quite normal and nice. His father was a promoter and his mother stopped working when she got pregnant for the second time. Kevin, the elder brother, was a popular boy. My boyfriend did the romantic rebel type who wrote poetry and had a rock band rehearsing in the garage of a friend.

Johnny's father died in a domestic accident: he was fixing the roof when he slipped and broke his neck in the fall. Johnny was a freshman at NYU at that time. He spent a few weeks mourning with her mother until she said he should go back to college, there was no reason for him to stay in Danbury. Two days after his departure, his mother took an overdose of prescription drugs.

This is the part where Johnny blames himself for not realizing and not stayed with his mother. Then he left NYU and sank. His brother decided all inheritance issues and simply let go. He said that Johnny was a weak, a tramp, a lazy. Was his godfather, the same that offered a job to Rachel in our first year in New York, who helped him out of the mud. When we met in the laundry, Johnny was still recovering . I've never talked to Kevin, but for what Johnny said, he doesn't seem to be most loving and fraternal person.

My family wasn't perfect, but who am I to complain?

"I keep two things of my father. That pipe that I showed you." He said. "It was the smell of my father, pipe and aftershave. My father supported my dream of being a writer. My brother called me gay and my mother insisted that I had a second choice because she thought I wouldn't get jobs as a writer, but my father always gave me strength. My brother just said that my poems were useful when I transform them in music for the school band. It gave me a nice image and it was helpful with the girls."

"Really?" Crossed my arms pretending I was angry. "What's the other thing?"

"A pair of cufflinks that I will use on the night of my first book signing. These little things have important sentimental value. They are better than the house. At least that's what I think. They are triggers for good memories. My house had good memories until it become my parent's grave. I didn't want it and forced Kevin selling it at any price and then I smoked and drank a lot of it."

As we were several steps ahead, we kissed in front of the restaurant. My father passed us along with Quinn and Beth. Shelby patted on my shoulders.

"What now?" I complained.

"Don't overdo it, young lady. Your father is jealous." I rolled my eyes.

Beth had fun sitting at the head of the table. She said she was like Dad, who was on the opposite side.

"You will pay the bill, shorty. If you don't have the money, you will spend the whole day here doing the dishes." Beth got frightened and I had fun.

My father just smiled. He liked these mischief between sisters. Moreover, the lunch was one of the quietest of my family. Maybe it was the atmosphere of pre-Beth or if it was the unannounced presence of Johnny in the city. I began to regret not having done the appropriate statement. Papi paid the bill and we went back home on an even greater silence. We were all tense, but Beth, who didn't understand what was going on.

I confess that my heart began to pound like crazy when papi, Shelby and Quinn went to the library to talk with Beth. Johnny and I were waiting. I also knew I had to put an end to my things, separate the remaining clothes for donation and all the rest that was not worth keeping in the new house. I went to the garage and checked out what should be discarded definitively within cardboard boxes stored there. There was no sense in bringing to Columbus my old toy box, unless the Beth wanted it. I knew I had a work to do, but I couldn't focus on it.

I heard Beth calling my name. When I answered her, she ran to the garage with tears in her eyes. She jumped straight in my lap and held me tight, burying her face between my neck and shoulder.

"They told lies, Santy. Quinn is not my mother!" And cried.

I hugged the little girl. The adult trio arrived there apprehensive. It happened more or less what I was expecting. Shelby and Quinn was crying, the girl was scared and my father was nervous.

"Could you give us some space? We need to have a sister talk here."

"Santana don't you think ..."

"I think nothing, mother. Just do what I asked, okay? Everything will be fine."

All adults, including Johnny, withdrew from the garage. I let Beth cried her anger as she wanted. When she calmed down, I put her sitting on papi's car.

"What Mom said?"

"That I was born from Quinn." She muttered.

"Well, that's true, little one. Quinn is your biological mother."

"But she's not my mother, Santy!"

"No, she isn't in part." I had to walk on eggshells here. "She's your friend now. When you were born, Quinn gave you to mom because then you would be well protected, have a large family with me, Rachel, Mom and Dad. You are a Lopez, little one. But look how cool what happened: Quinn and Rachel fell in love like those princesses stories. Then Quinn could be part of our family too and be close to you."

"I don't like her! I wish that Rachel dated someone else."

"Yes, you do. Quinn is cool and loves you very much. And you know that in our family, blood is not important. What counts is what comes from here." I put my hand on her heart. "You have mom, papi, me and Rachel. And you have Quinn. Just like I had two dads before you born, you have two mothers now."

"But what if Quinn wants to take me away? I don't want to leave Mom and Dad!" Seriously. Where does this girl took these ideas?

"Look, shorty, listen very carefully: Quinn will never get you out of Mom and Dad, okay!" I put a lock of dark blond hair behind her ear. "Why do you think that?"

"Because of Tom, my friend from school. He had to leave his home because someone said his mother was inappropriate." Oh, god. What do kids talk nowadays?

"Mom isn't the world's best?" She nodded. "Doesn't she take you straight to the school, sends you bathe at the right time, tells you to eat vegetables and do your homework?" Another nod. "This means that she is a good mother and loves you a lot. When mothers are good as well, not the superman can take their children. So, don't worry, ok? You belong to this family."

"But..."

"No buts allowed. Let's make a deal: when we leave this garage, you will give Quinn a hug and then you will hug and kiss Mom and Dad. That's ok? Can you do it?"

"I won't hug Quinn."

"Elizabeth Corcoran-Lopez. This is not a behavior of kickass princess. We will leave the room, you will give Quinn a hug and then do whatever you want. You can you help me to end these boxes to the new house. What do you think?"

Beth was still reluctant, but she agreed. When we left the garage, there were many pairs of anxious eyes in the living room. I took two pats on Beth's ass to encourage her to do our deal. She hugged Quinn for five seconds and then ran to my side and held my hand. I exchanged glances with my friend. She apologized in silence. I could see she was hurt. Maybe she imagined a different scenario. Well, life sucks.

My parents and I talked to Quinn while Johnny was distracting Beth. She was crying I lot because Beth started to reject her. Well, it's not like that. The kid was still in shock with the news and I was sure she would get used to the idea of having two mothers. Anyway, we all think better Quinn go to sleep at her mother's to give Beth some space along with the family. And I was sure that Jude was the best person to give Quinn a shoulder. Papi drove her to Jude's while Shelby and I asked Beth to help us with the boxes. It was a good strategy.

To reinforce the family thing, I contact Rachel by skype, so she could interact with us.

"_That box is that_?" Rachel asked as she took a wine.

"School work." I began to scour some of our tests. Once I got an F on a math in the fourth grade. Hilarious considering that math is my thing. I didn't remember why, but I was sure it had something with that horrible witch teacher I had that time.

"_Throw it out_!" Rachel snapped the screen. "_We don't need those old tests._"

"I agree."

"Look, the Muppets!" Beth rummaged in the box with our old toys.

"_Muppets?_" Rachel said on the screen. "_Those were mine. But you can stay with them if you want._"

We spent almost all night opening boxes and it was also a great opportunity to revive memories. We worked while I was arguing with papi, Shelby and virtual Rachel about our home. We decided to sell because it was financially speaking more viable.

Later, while Shelby was sleeping in Beth's room, Johnny, papi and I stayed in the kitchen making sandwiches. It was nice to spend the night talking about sweeter things. I discovered, for example, that Papi was invited by his new colleagues to a fishery. Oh man, he hates boredom fisheries.

After midnight Johnny and I went to my room. I lined the bed as he took the blanket and pillows. I was tired, but Johnny had other ideas to help me to relax. He pulled me into a tender kiss.

"You're amazing, Santana Berry-Lopez." He led me to bed amid many kisses.

"Of course I am!" I took off my shirt and my bra. I was on the top feeling his erection between my legs.

"As much as I would love you riding me, I believe you deserve special treatment first." Now, he was on top and kissed and sucked my breasts.

"Hmm. This is good!" I moaned.

He removed the rest of our clothes and we started to have fun. Nothing like a good sex at the end of a busy day. I was so glad that Johnny knew what a clitoris is, unlike guys like Puck. He gave special attention to it using his very talented tongue and sucked me good. I think he saw too much lesbian porn to know all the good techniques, or maybe life has taught, or both. The fact is that my Johnny Boy learned it to perfection. Like him, only Brittany. I got my first orgasm of the night in an instant. After all of his oral attention, we changed position and I rode him. Johnny just fill me up nice with his not huge penis: it was just perfect inside, without hurt me and hitting all the good spots. After my second orgasm, I slept like an angel.


	7. Chapter 7

**Divorce**

**(Santana)**

Thank God, I was so close to enjoy my first holiday weekend of the summer. I still had to solve some pending at Columbia during the week, but nothing that makes me staying in college for a long time or need to get up early. Another year in college and I'm done. Soon I would begin to put my knowledge in practice and make small investments to make good money. I was also thinking about finance friends like Andrew. He has a firm with a colleague to develop games for smartphones. If he launches the next Angry Birds, I am rich. But for now, I wouldn't worry about these things. I just wanted to rest my mind a little bit.

I woke up early in the force of habit and looked out the window to see if how weather was. I had breakfast, took my bike and went for rides in Central Park and did some abdominal there as usual. As I didn't really like the gym, practicing exercises outdoors is a healthier and better option to keep fit. At least to me.

Unlike my sister, I was always backyard, parks and green spaces girl. While she had dancing lessons at gyms, I was playing soccer with other kids with daddy looking and cheering for me. It was ever thus. The best thing about living in my neighborhood was to have the Central Park so close. It was good to ride my bike and feel the breeze on my face in light clothes, my shoes and sunglasses.

Johnny and I were planning spend two weeks in Hawaii after Quinn's Graduation. I can't believe she would graduate first than I. My boyfriend was finally writing his book. His editor suggested some changes in the original story. Johnny felt offended at first, but after the adrenaline subsided, he realized that some things made sense to modify. He began working like a madman on the book to deliver it all within the tight deadline. He decided it was better to stay isolated in his place in Jersey. All right, I was on my period anyway.

After two turns in Central Park and do 500 sit-ups, I came home.

That's when I saw them.

I almost died of fright when I ran into Shelby and Beth in the lobby of my building.

"Hi San." She smirked. "Surprise!"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

After leaving my bike in the warehouse, I accompanied my mother and Beth to my apartment. There was a strange silence and I realized that something was up.

"I'm always amazed at how much this place is huge." She broke the silence as soon as I opened the door. "Caleb Weiz must feel really guilty about Hiram." My mom said as the three of us entered the hall that gave access to the rooms, the service area and the living room.

"You know the story." I hung the keys in the proper place in front of the kitchen entrance down the aisle of the service area. "It's not for free."

"I know, Weiz is a bastard dictator."

"I don't want to talk about this and not even remember him, okay? It's bad enough that I have a deal with him."

"Sorry." She flinched.

"Did you book a hotel room this time?"

"Oh, no. As your sister is in Los Angeles, I assume you have a spare room. Unless Quinn is sleeping here."

"Quinn has her place."

"And Johnny?"

"He also has his own place." I was a bit harsh in response and soon regretted. "You know… he comes here a lot, but I don't want to have the impression of living with a guy... not yet."

"You're right, San. You're only 22 and it's too early for that kind of thing."

I didn't answer. I agreed with Shelby in part: it wasn't time to move in with any boyfriend. But it's not because of my age: Rachel and I have been by our own in New York since we were 17. The point is that Johnny and I were dating just four months and I didn't feel like joining our toothbrushes yet. I had my sister's relationship as a reference, that's why I don't want a married life without being married. I mean, Johnny and I are enjoying each other without the burden of serious commitment.

I put Shelby and Beth's small luggage in my sister's room, and it reminded me that Shelby must change the sheets. Although Bena, our maid who worked here twice a week, leave everything organized and clean, she kind of left the Rachel's room without attention with my endorsement. She just clean the room, change the sheets and everything when my sister has a longer break in Los Angeles and flight to here or when she has some kind of meeting. Anyway, Rachel hasn't showed up here for two weeks, so it was two weeks of accumulated dust in that part of the house. Beth climbed into the bed and started jumping, as if it were a trampoline.

"Beth!" Shelby called her attention.

"But it's fun mom." She apologized. "I don't know why someone so little has a bed this size if she's not married."

I laughed hard. It's the innocence and the sweetness of a seven years old. Beth didn't know the evil and not understand the subtleties of adulthood. Good for her. Hopefully that she won't hurry to grow.

"Are you hungry?"

"Do you have some fries?" Beth said excitedly, but faded when she saw Shelby's frown.

"How about yogurt?" I offered. "You can take some cookies and watch some TV while I talk to Mom. You can play my PS5 if you want. I keep the games that large drawer of my office."

"Okay."

Beth was growing fast and she was in that terrible phase in which kids lose their front teeth and grows in place those huge, that you think they won't fit in the mouth. The dark blond hair passed her shoulders, she was wearing bangs, and was looking like Quinn more and more. The difference was that Beth was a little brat who liked space, running and playing with other kids: something very different from the image and memories that I had about Quinn when we were at the same age. Quinn was that boring girl that used to show up at the park but never to play with the kids, including me. It's because her father didn't allow her to play with us, but at that time, as a kid, I thought that Fabray girl was a snob. Well, she kind of was.

"Don't think that I am not happy to see you two here, although you should have done this surprise to Rachel in Los Angeles, but what's the reason behind it all?" I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter of kitchen sink.

"The truth?" I nodded. Shelby sighed and shook her head. "I ran away. I ran away from Lima and came here."

"What!" I jumped. "Why did you run away? What about papi?"

"Your father knows I'm here..." She ran her hand through her hair.

"So..." I hesitated a bit to ask, but had to do it. "Is everything ok with your marriage?"

"Oh no! Your father and I are great. Don't worry about that. I'm here because I panicked. This moving out to Columbus is killing me. Your father is busy at the hospital and I'm dealing with most part of the reform of the new house, Beth's new school, my new job, Lima's house sale… I should be in Columbus right now deciding the new floor of wood that will replace that terrible carpet. Instead of going to the studio apartment your father rented, I went straight to the airport and caught the first flight to New York. I called your father in tears when we arrived and do you know what he said?" I didn't try to guess, I just waited for the answer. "He was confused, of course, but he said that he understand that I was under so much stress and he asked me to send you a kiss."

"My father did this?" I was incredulous. Dr. Juan Lopez was ok with this sudden trip? It was a miracle or an evolution.

"Hard to believe, isn't it? We both are under so much stress. He's dealing with the fact he isn't the boss anymore. It's harder than he thought it would be. So, I have to solve most of the problems about our new and old house, and I have job interviews, and there's Beth… She doesn't like to spend time in Maria's and I don't want her to stay at her friend's house. She's complaining about the moving and because Lassie is on a kennel. But it's just until the dog could go to the new house. I need to bring Beth to all the boring places and she's hating everything. It's not easy."

"I can imagine all of it. To be fair, I hated staying at aunt Maria's. Julio didn't pay much attention to Rachel and I, and our cousin Daniella was a bitch with us. It wasn't always that abuela could take care of us. So, sometimes we had to go to the hospital with papi and we used to spend most of our time at the recreation room. Some kids of the hospital staff and kids with cancer stayed there to pass some time. I didn't mind playing with them, but the hospital smell..." The memory made the hair on my body stand. "But it was how I met Brittany."

"She was hospitalized?"

"No, she did not. Her mother had to undergo emergency surgery. A nurse took Brittany to the recreation room on a day Rachel and I were there. I was drawing dragons and she offered to help. It was empathy at first sight, as if Brittany and I have known each other in a long time."

"Beth actually likes going to the hospital. She walks all over the place, making you father crazy! That was ok when he was the boss, but now it's different. We are in rush, we have 15 days to move out since the new owner already wants to move in."

"And are you wasting three days here?"

"I need it!"

"I see."

"It's just three days! I promise!" Shelby sighed. "Furthermore, it's also good to take a break about your abuela's problem."

"Is abuela worse?" My heart was pounding.

"She no longer interacts with anybody. Your father said it was a matter of time and I'm sure this is the major part of Juan's stress."

I started thinking about abuela.

The last time I saw her, to introduce Johnny, she was so feeble and barely acknowledged me. She didn't leave the chair the whole time we were there. But she smiled at Johnny, said he was beautiful, blessed our dating and then fell silent. It was a shock because abuela always liked to talk. I spent an hour doing small talking, inventing stories. She listened, sometimes smiled, sometimes made a small nod to let us know that she was understanding. I left there with my heart broken. I understand papi's attitude because I know how awful is losing a parent. Dad's death was the worst pain I felt in my life so far.

"How's your mother?" I asked and Shelby looked at me surprised. I never asked for my maternal grandmother, because out contact was minimal. But anyway, she was family.

"She's all right. Actually I'm thinking on renting a small house to her in Columbus after this turmoil, because it will be easier for me to assist her if she lives less than 10 minutes from my house. She's too old to be all by herself in Findlay."

"What about your brother? Can't he help?"

"Thomas lives in other state and that's great to me. I don't want to see him near my house."

"Why? What happened?"

"How can I say it nicely? Well, my brother thinks homosexuality is a disease that can be cured. He said I 'healed' you father, and we should do something about Rachel. About 'help', he suggested rape between the lines. When he said this, I told him to leave my house and stay far far away from any of us or I would kill him."

"Papi knows that?" I was shocked.

"He doesn't need to." I nodded in agreement. Papi would kill her brother first. "I swear I would kill Thomas if he or any of he's crony leaned a hand in any of you three."

"Ok… let's change the subject!" I don't want to think about killing right now. I went to the fridge and grabbed a juice bottle. "Are you sure you want nothing?"

"Just water for now. I'm pleased with the airplane peanuts. How is Johnny?"

"Working on his book."

"Still doing it? You told me about it weeks ago."

"His editor asked him to. They need to change some parts and improve others before print. It's a small publisher, you know? They can't make mistakes. They will print a thousand copies without burdening Johnny."

"So few."

"It's hard to sell a thousand books of an unknown writer."

Shelby looked through the living room window. It's a sunny day and it was almost lunch time. I would suggest her to eat in a nice restaurant in the block in front my building since I didn't want to cook anything.

"This is really a great neighborhood. I remember dreaming of living here someday."

"Really?" I smiled. "Rachel said something like that once when we were living on Brooklyn."

"I lived in the Bronx and come to this neighborhood was a dream. But the prices here were already stratospheric since that time… The best thing about my neighborhood was a restaurant I worked after my money dried. I resigned when the owner decided to harass me sexually, but the food was really great. Free meals everyday!"

"Do you want to go there?" Shelby seemed wistful.

"Don't be silly. What I would like to do is going out to do some shopping with two of my kids and update a little bit my wardrobe."

Shelby and Beth arriving was a good was a good thing after all. We had lunch in the restaurant that I liked and then went out to walk around New York without compromise. We walked through the streets looking shops and discussing fashion. We also talked about the latest Rachel choices influenced by Kurt Hummel. Shelby commented that there was a world away from the girl who asked her for help because of Lady Gaga's costume and the actress whose style was praised in the events: she embraced the classic with some touches of daring. Amazing considering that Rachel's personal stylist was Kurt Hummel, who was still able to use the hippo brooch.

We got some bags. Beth was over the moon to have new sunglasses and she felt like a model on the catwalk. She had so much charm that caught the attention of people on the streets. It was hilarious! For dinner, the little one asked for pizza and it frustrated Shelby's plans o eating something more elaborate. I loved it. Once we got home, I ordered a pizza eat accompanied by frozen coke: the best kind.

"Enjoy while you still can eat junk food, girls. Everything changes after thirty." Shelby prophesied, but that didn't stop her rolling a piece of melted cheese on her finger and eat it.

Papi called to ask if everything was ok. I had the opportunity to talk about the sudden presence of Shelby and Beth and he said everything was all right between him and Shelby. Papi confessed he was a little shocked, but admitted that Shelby was really under a lot of pressure, that this little trip could help. Shelby, Beth and I saw some television and commented platitudes before my guests went to my sister's room to bath and eventually sleep.

I called Johnny and all was well with him. He has already done half the work, but couldn't think of anything else: he needed some rest. After talking with my boyfriend, I was checking some messages when Brittany called me after a month without news.

I closed the door to my room to have more privacy and sat on my bed to talk to her.

"Hi Britt Britt!" I said not wanting to appear that I had been taken by surprise. "How are you?"

"_Moving on._" Her voice was a little hoarse.

"Moving on? Did something happen?" I got worried.

"_Jim left me last week._" She shot and it was as if the world had frozen for a second.

"Oh Britt! I... I'm so sorry."

"_He said he fell in love with another woman and left home. I'm so lost, Sanny._"

"What about your kid?"

"_Jim said he would talk to me about it later, the he wouldn't want to lose touch with our son._"

"If I can help with something… Mr. White is Mr. Weiz's lawyer and kind of my lawyer as well. I can talk to him… I'm sure he knows somebody in L.A."

"_My parents already contacted a lawyer to discuss with Jim's our son's guard. But thanks anyway._"

"Ok… ok, so… what about your job? You worked for Jim, right?"

"_Yeah. He let me to continue teaching at his gym, but I don't know San. He said this because I'm an awesome teacher. My classes have a lot of kids and teens, and they all are paying for it. It's about money. That's why I might accept Mike's old job offer. He's bought a small dance studio so we could do some Hollywood stuffs, teach and all of this._"

"Rachel said Mike will try something different with his dancing, but I didn't pay much attention. I'm glad that he has a new project and counting on you… well Britt, go for it if you don't want to work for your ex."

"_I'm thinking carefully about it. Don't worry, San. But, you know? It's hurt so much. I wish you could be here with me._"

"I'm sorry I'm not, Britt. I'm so sorry. What can I do to make you feel better now?"

"_I don't know, San. Just talk to me. __What are you doing?_"

"Right now I'm in my room talking with you." I heard a slight chuckle over the phone. "Well... I haven't done anything out of my routine. My classes in college are almost done this semester, my small company is fine and I'm thinking of hire a manager for it since I'll restart my internship at Weiz next year. Oh, Shelby and Beth are spending some days here."

"_Are you still dating that friend of yours?_"

"Yes, I'm still dating Johnny." Brittany made me feel guilty about it. I hate it. "We're happy."

"_You do love him, right?_" Suddenly felt like it was the Inquisition.

"Yes, Britt. I do love him." I said with surprising conviction.

"_How is Quinn?_" She said abruptly.

"She's fine, I think. I haven't seen her that much these days but she will graduate in two weeks."

"_That's nice._"

"Yes, it is. Don't say it to anyone cause I'll deny, but I'm proud of her."

"_The unholy trinity must cheer to each other, right?_"

"Well, you're the one who always liked her. I spend part of my high school years hating on Quinn even thought I was her watch dog until she got pregnant."

"_Don't be silly San._"

"It's true. It took me a bit of time to like and trust Quinn. But she's family now. I learned to love her and there's no return. I'm glad she made it."

I talked to Brittany all kinds of subjects for nearly an hour. I realized how much was missing my best friend. But she was on the other side of the country, as well as my sister. Talk to Britt gave me a chill in the stomach, a strange feeling that I used to enjoy. What the hell was happening to me?


	8. Chapter 8

**Graduation Day**

**(Quinn)**

I was nervous, or rather anxious. It was cloudy and sultry in New York on my graduation day. My mother was in town, in my house. I paid the train fare so she could come here. My mom arrived yesterday and the first thing she did was complain about my place and the fact I share it with a hairy man. It's not my fault that Santiago liked his long hair, and to be honest, he had worse haircuts. I settled my mom in my room and shared my bed with her, as we always did. I always tried to offer my best to her, and about that she couldn't doubt.

I sent invitations to my mother, Frannie, my father (I had to show him), the Lopezes, and Mike. Santiago had an idea and we diagrammed an informal invitation to distribute to friends and the rest of the family. My mother gave some to my grandparents, uncles and her friend that helped her in the sewing business. These people wouldn't come to my graduation, but it was only a matter of delicacy warning. Then at night, I and Santiago and some of our friends planned a celebration party at a pub. But the lunch was reserved for the family, even though I wasn't sure who would come.

"Let me help you with your dress." My mother straightened the bent handle and passed her clinical eye on me. "We can put a pin here to improve a little bit."

"Pin, mom?"

"Diaper pin, a small one. It is very discreet and makes miracles."

I let her help me. It was only a small satisfaction that I could give to my mother. Then, I finished my makeup and waited for Santana, who said would drive us.

"You're almost looking like a person, Mr. Santiago. Not a caveman." He laughed with this almost compliment from my mother. "You should cut your hair."

"It's part of my style, mrs. Fabray."

"Please, Santiago, it's miss Penn. I don't use my ex-husband surname anymore."

"All right, ma'am."

"Will your parents come?"

"Oh yes, they're in the city as so my lil' sister and brother. They are eager to meet Quinn, since she's the one who put some sense into my head."

"It's true!" I snapped.

"And I made you go back to focus." He was referring to when I was loose in my career, taking any job to survive until he convinced me to do the selection tests process in Bad Things. Well, we kind of save each other at some point.

We hugged each other and I knew that the day would be more emotional than I realized. Santana honked and said us to go downstairs. My mother insisted on carrying my gown because, apparently it was an important job. Santana was beautiful, in a slightly tight dress at the knees and heels. She knew to dress very elegantly when she wanted, I had to admit. Unfortunately Rachel wasn't with her: sign that she couldn't catch the flight she intended. The filming schedule was tight and Rachel said me she would do the possible to take the first flight to New York she could. Honestly, I was afraid to call her only to find that she didn't make it.

"And Rachel?" My mother had to ask. I closed my eyes in anticipation for the answer that would be a disaster for me. "Doesn't she even have time to come to the graduation of her own girlfriend?"

"Didn't Rachel tell you?" Santana said in small voice and I just shook my head no. "She managed to catch a flight, but she doesn't know whether she will land in time for the ceremony."

My heart skipped a beat. The problem of flights between Los Angeles and New York is they were long, out unforeseen, air traffic, bureaucracy and airport exit, city traffic. At least my Rachel was struggling to come and I was glad. The graduation ceremony would begin at ten o'clock and we were almost there. It was better to keep my expectations low.

When we arrived at the Tisch hall auditorium specially decorated for the occasion, we began the process of looking for known people. Then I saw the Lopezes and Beth. It was hard to believe that my daughter would be in such a special moment of my life. She couldn't like me, but that didn't stop my chest fills with pride. Beth looked so beautiful in white and pink dress and ribbon in her hair. Juan gave me a tight hug and looked at me with pride. The same look I would like to receive from my own father. Shelby greeted me quietly and Santana practically pushed Beth to hug me. I took the chance to put her little body against mine as much time as I could.

"Quinn!" A familiar voice came from behind me. My heart nearly stopped.

"Frannie?" We hugged in a second. It was so good my sister coming. When she graduated, I couldn't go to Texas, so I sent her flowers, a gift and a card saying that I would be at her graduation from law school. I thought my sister would revenge not coming to my graduation. I was even resigned to it. "I brought a gift for you!" She said in my ear.

It was my father.

Russell Fabray.

The man I hadn't seen and wasn't speaking directly for seven years. I got no reaction. I felt a hand on my arm, and I think it was my mother, I don't know, I couldn't focus on anything else. Here was my father next to a woman younger than my mother, maybe she was his second wife Frannie talked about. He was wearing an impeccable suit, his blond hair was very well groomed and he had a stern expression. Suddenly, I lost a bit of my strength.

"Hello Quinn." He said in a formal tone. "It's a pleasure to see you well, graduating on a major university. Who knew?"

"Hello father." I didn't know what to do. Frannie pushed me so I greet him.

Part of me wanted to hold him in a hug, after all, he was my father and I loved him unconditionally. Another part remembered all the pain I went through since he threw me out because of an accidental pregnancy when I was only 16. The way he disowned me, sold my stuff, and tried to erase me from his life was very painful. Again, he took the initiative and held out his arms so that we could hug quickly. So I did it. I felt the smell of mint shaved shaving lotion with cigar. It was always the same: one of my childhood smells. I struggled to not cry.

"Quinn, this is my wife, Bethany." I made sure to greet her immediately.

"I have no words. Thank you for come."

"It is a honor finally meeting Russell's youngest daughter. He talks a lot about you. Oh, and this is my boy, Lucas." She introduced me to a boy who appeared to be Beth's age.

"Hello, Lucas." We shake hands.

"It was time, Quinnie. Don't you think?" My mom alerted me.

I nodded. I noticed that the Lopezes watched everything from a safe distance. Suddenly I felt like a Montecchio that needed to introduce my parents to the Capulets.

"Oh, father and Bethany... these are Juan and Shelby Lopez, my girlfriend's parents." I said formally and left them to greet with all the world's coldness. "And this is my friend Santana Berry-Lopez, and this princess here is Beth." I took a deep breath. "Beth is my biological daughter who was adopted by the Lopezes."

Santana just nodded to my father. She was always aloof at his presence or Frannie's and apparently she wouldn't change it. Beth didn't move. She crossed her arms and pouted. Even angry, she was lovely and it made Bethany smile.

"It looks a lot like you, Quinn." My father said a little too loudly, which made Juan squint. I wasn't sure if those two could make amends someday when they have a past of innumerous arguments.

"We will look for a place to sit." Shelby held her husband hand and pushed him to the auditorium, taking Beth with them. The tension eased a little.

"Quinnie, baby." My mother held my arm. "Maybe it's time for you to wear your gown, don't you think?"

I nodded. It was healthier get a little away from my family tensions. I looked for the girl from the ceremonial, which led me to the room in which all graduates were dressing and waiting. It was interesting to meet so many colleagues in such environment for the last time. I hugged everyone and took pictures. I knew my professional environment would give the opportunity to reconnect with several of them. For example: Lisa Buhours, Grant Pitt and Mike Cordell were my colleagues at NYU and worked in Bad Things.

The ceremony began ten minutes late. I checked my watch. Maybe Rachel was still at the airport at that time or maybe it was the time to conform me that my girlfriend couldn't attend my graduation. The ceremonial organized us alphabetically, so Santiago and I sat side by side: Fabray and Follett. During the speeches, I tried to locate my relatives and my guests. My parents and the Lopezes were close, oddly enough, but not together. Mike was there, as well as Johnny. I waved at the distance to my friends. Nothing about Rachel.

The called Owen White to make the speech. And like any writer who thinks it was a genius, he made a text if a lot of catch phrases and tried to make people cry in the end. I never spoke to him, but the fame of pretentious fit him. After many blah blah blah and a small theatrical performance later, the master of ceremony began to draw students in alphabetical order to take the stage and receive the symbolic diploma.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray." He called my name.

I took a deep breath, managed my tears and went up there with my nose up. I received the straw, took a picture with the teacher and looked towards mines that beckoning. I threw a kiss to all of them. Everything happens so fast that I couldn't see if my Rachel was there. I so wish she had witnessed that moment. Santiago was behind me and I waited at the end of the stage. We return to our sits embraced. At the end of the ceremony, after throwing our hats up and also all the confetti inside the straw, he hugged each other before returning to our families.

"Fabray." Santiago pulled me quickly. "I would like to introduce you to Mrs. Teresa and Mr. Steve." I embraced the parents of my friend and his siblings. Kayla, Santiago's girlfriend, also was around and I hugged her.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you all."

"We only hear good things about you, Quinn. Thank you for being in my son's life." Mrs. Follett said humbly.

"So, are you all going to our party later?" I asked.

"I won't miss the opportunity to have a beer in honor of my son." Mr. Follett said with touching pride.

"He's the best." Santiago said and I just nodded.

"And what about you, Quinn?" Mrs. Follett asked me. "What are your plans?"

"I will have lunch with my parents, my sister and my girlfriend's family."

"That's nice, dear."

Santiago looked at me strangely, as if he had seen something extraordinary on my shoulders. Without a word, he just pointed behind me, and I had to turn around. My heart stopped for a second or two.

Rachel!

Rachel was there, in wrinkled clothes, a small red suitcase wheels on the side. She was slightly disheveled and had a crying face.

"I tried, Quinn!" She said almost in a whisper. "I swear I tried, but I couldn't see you graduating."

I ran to kiss her and hug her. Rachel cried on my shoulder.

"Sorry. I couldn't."

"Hey, you tried, and you're here!" I tried to console her. It was strange to comfort her and feel a world the size of happiness in my chest. "You're here. You're here!"

I let Rachel cry a little before breaking the hug just enough to kiss her again. I wish it was a longer, but Santana approached and touched my shoulder.

"Not that I want to stop your show, but I have to. We are in public and we have things to do at my place, it's noon and the lunch is waiting for us."

"Lunch in your place?" It was strange.

"Surprise!" Rachel said with a small smile.

We sorted the people in the car and cabs, all for Upper East Side. Rachel, always hand in hand with me, said that she combined with Santana to organize a reception and lunch at their home for our families. It was better than going to a restaurant. The party at the pub the night, of course, was still standing. Rachel funded everything and I didn't know whether to be angry or if I loved her for it. She, through Santana, hired a buffet and people to serve and then leave everything clean.

I blushed when we entered the apartment and saw in the foyer had a full buffet with my favorite treats and a well tacky sign saying "Congratulations Cinematographer Quinn Fabray." I had to take many pictures in front of it. Our families settled in the large living room while the two girls from the buffet company served wine and snacks. And there I was, the cause of the party, not knowing how to move.

On one side was my family. Frannie, my father and his new wife. The other was Juan, Shelby, Santana and Beth. In the middle term, confused, were I, Rachel, my mother, Mike and Johnny. It was certain that the strange weather and unforeseen settled because no one dreamed that my father or my sister would appear. I needed to take the first step. Then I held Rachel's hand and took her before my father.

"I would like to introduce you my girlfriend, Rachel Berry-Lopez."

"You're an actress, right?" Bethany said with some enthusiasm. At least she tried to be friendly. Rachel nodded.

"Yes, I am."

"I have a feeling I know you from somewhere."

"Broadway?"

"I don't think ... I'm not a theater enthusiastic."

"I've done some small roles in films... and I'm working on HBO's Slings and Arrows."

"I've never seen this series... oh, I know now... The Widows of Eastwick! It's a silly movie that a really like. You were Cher's granddaughter."

Rachel nodded and looked apprehensively at my father. I was too.

"So this is your apartment?" My father asked.

"Yes. Mine and my sister's."

"It's a beautiful place. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

I was afraid that my father would say something more to insult Rachel, but he took a glass of wine and remained silent.

Gradually, Rachel and I have tried to put the two poles together, so that at least a better conversation could be established. I knew that Juan hated my father and vice-versa. It's not for free. Years ago when I was about seven, I was with my father and he made a comment that I don't remember the right words. But I do remember that they were directed at Hiram Berry, who was a little effeminate, but not as much as Kurt. He didn't like what my father said and they stated fighting verbally at the door of the store, until the owner called the police, which led Hiram arrested. And Hiram was the only one arrested because he was gay. Luckily my father argued with Hiram, because if he had a fight with Juan, he would have left with a purple eye and without a tooth. Juan is taller and stronger while my father smokes and drinks too much. What I know was that since that day my parents and Rachel's dads become enemies. That's why my father never allowed me to talk with Rachel and Santana at junior high or play with them and others kids in the park. That's why Santana hated me so much for a long time, and that's why I had to blackmail and make a deal with her to us to join forces at high school. Sue Sylvester helped on that too.

Hopefully, all of these are in the past. At least fate played a trick on all of us: I fell in love with Rachel and my daughter was adopted by Juan. One way or other, we are all together.

"So… do you now have business in Austin?" Juan asked my father a little after the lunch.

"San Antonio. Who lives in Austin is Frannie. I still have my office, but now I also invest some of my money in dairy cattle. My in laws are great farmers and they convinced me to try it."

"It's not that great. We've just in the business for a long time, so we have some experience." Bethany said with false modesty. Frannie said that bitch was very rich.

"And you?" My father again had the word "Still working at the hospital in Lima?"

"No longer in Lima. Now I am a general surgeon at Mt. Carmel in Columbus, and Shelby was hired to reactivate the OSU's choir."

"Yeah." Shelby added. "I got a job as assistant professor at OSU's Theater Department and I will be responsible for the choir. In the meantime, I will master in musical theater. It's a wonderful opportunity that I will embrace."

"That's interesting. By the way, how did this happen? Your wedding with this beautiful woman? As I remember well, you were married to another man" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt that that dialogue would shit.

"Unfortunately Hiram died in a car accident. Shelby is the biological mother of my daughters and we happened to meet again after this tragedy."

"If I may ask, how a gay man married a woman? That sounds confusing, Mr. Lopez."

"I'm not gay. I'm bisexual, which means I love the person, not the gender." Juan replied with some irritation. "I had a happy marriage with Hiram, I have now happy marriage with Shelby, and I have absolutely nothing to hide from anyone. I believe we should seek to build our lives without glass roofs. Hiram and I spent that thought for our daughters, as well as Shelby and I taught it to Beth. And I'm very proud of that. My daughters can declare themselves as heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. For us, it doesn't matter. They will never be repressed because of their sexuality. And as you know so well, there is no point in imposing a label that is not part of the being of the person. The truth will always come up."

My father took a sip of wine and there was silence at the table. Of course, Juan was referring to the creation of my father towards me. In fact, I suffered a lot to accept that I am lesbian when I was educated to demonized homosexuals. It was hard to suppress that I was attracted for girls, that I looked too much at my sister's friends boobs, that I felt hot seeing some cheerios naked, including Santana, and all my feelings towards Rachel. All because I had to follow a plan drawn up by my parents: marry a rich guy, have kids, be a good wife. It came to a point that I couldn't deny to myself that I wasn't sexually attracted to men. I couldn't connect sexually with Puck or Sam. I couldn't love Finn and let him touch me. But the first time I've been with a woman was gorgeous and it made me understand a lot of things about myself.

"I've never had problems with gay people." Bethany searched around. "When Frannie said that her sister was... gay… Russell got nervous, but I think he was more afraid of bad things that could happen to Quinn. I know a few people with this lifestyle, but they are discreet in what they do and say. Depending on the place, you can get hurt."

After a meal like that, my father use to smoke a pipe or a cigar and rest on the porch. He also smoked an ordinary cigarette in the absence of the other two. So when I saw him looking for cigarettes, and knowing that the Lopezes didn't smoke (except Santana that sometimes smoked some marijuana, but she do it outside, far from us), I suggested to show him the terrace of the building. There are three in the building and the first of them was on the 12th floor. We took the elevator and I tried to control my embarrassment and my bitterness. Seven years without seeing my father. Seven fucking years. And when we find ourselves in a celebration, he had to show that nothing has changed? Was he not able to evolve a bit?

My father looked at the landscape of Manhattan and seemed unimpressed. He took out a cigarette and lit it. He offered one to me.

"I don't smoke."

"Really?" He swallowed and then expelled the smoke. "I thought it was you who stole my cigarettes."

"Frannie stole your cigarettes. I tried smoking once, but quit after a month."

"When?"

"After I gave my daughter for adoption."

"Oh!"

"Dad, I really appreciate you're here. I'm really happy with your presence, but I need to know why did you came and why now? After seven years, it seems that you didn't change any of your prejudices. You still don't like gays and I'm sure you disapprove that I majored in cinematography."

He swallowed his cigarette quietly. The weather was cloudy and drizzling, but we were still there.

"You're right, Quinnie, I'm still not accepting. I still think that gays should learn a lesson, that Latinos should stay on their land, that Cinema is a graduation for bums and I think you disrespected me deeply when you got pregnant at 16 of an idiot."

"I think we have reached a term." I fought not to cry in front of him. "Thank you for your sincerity, but you still haven't answered my question: why are you here?"

"Because although you are gay, dating the Jewish daughter of the latino doc, majoring in a bum profession and embarrassing your family forever, I admire you." I looked at him in astonishment. "That's right Quinnie. I admire you. Think about it: you had everything to fail, to be a loser in life. Still, you survived, graduated on a great university, have a job, a roof... so yes, Quinnie, I wanted to be here and say that despite all these deviations, you are strong, a winner and a Fabray. And I admire you."

The words of my father dismounted me. I took a deep breath, turned my back on him and let a few tears fall before continuing the conversation.

"You're right, Dad. I'm a strong, I'm a winner and a Fabray... but know that I had all the help I needed from the daughters of those sinners, as you used to say. Don't forget that."

"Still not like to take all the credit like Frannie would do." He shook his head.

"I am not ungrateful, it's different. And I just told the truth. I don't see where it would possibly take my merit. It's like making a movie, you know? You can't do it alone. Still, I never cease to be the director of my own film."

"Your new language is funny. Even your accent changed."

"Five years living in New York. What can I do?"

My father finished his cigarette and threw the butt in the corner of the courtyard.

"You do have the balls, Quinnie. Maybe those guys from television are right when they say that some people are born with the wrong gender. At the time your mother got pregnant, I prayed to our Lord to be a boy. I think my fervor was too strong. You just missed the penis."

"Don't get me wrong, dad, but I'm a gay girl who likes to dress and act like a girl. They called it femme. So femme I am. Still, I can use a penis better than many men."

My comment sparked an unprecedented laugh at my father. He laughed so hard that he lost his breath. It took a while to him calm down.

"Maybe you should go back smoking, Quinnie."

"I don't like it. Furthermore, Rachel hates the smell." I stared at my father seriously. "How are we from now?"

"How about we leave this drizzle and finished with yellow smiles down there? I'll take my wife, my stepson and go back to the hotel. Before that, I will pick up your phone and give you mine. So I expect a call from you. I did my part, now the second step is yours."

"Thanks, Dad." I hugged him. Now without strangeness.

"Um... at least your daughter seems to be pure... she has your face."

"Beth is half Jewish by Puck's side."

"Puck? Wait... that's not the name of that boyfriend of yours."

"Finn Hudson? He was stupid enough to believe that got me pregnant when he cum in the Jacuzzi. Noah Puckerman got me pregnant."

"Cum in the Jacuzzi? Really?"

My father let out another laugh. I have to admit that the idiocy of Finn Hudson was funny. Finn was a good guy with a good heart, but he wasn't smart.

Not that everything magically was fine between me and my father. That was a first step of many before one back part of the life of another. My father sat at table and talked to Frannie. Rachel glared me with questions, and my mother was also curious, but I didn't want to talk about this. Not right there with them. I needed some time to digest the first conversation in years I had with my father. My father, Bethany and Frannie were the first to leave and I he gave me his card with the phones.

Johnny and Mike said goodbye, but not before reaffirming that they would go to the party at night. Then, Santana paid the buffet staff while my mother accepted go out in the company of Shelby, Juan and Beth. That's when I finally was able to be alone with Rachel in her room.

"I'm dead!" She threw herself on the bed.

I approached slowly, sat beside her on the bed and then lay down to kiss her the way they wanted for the first time in weeks: a long caress, without haste, without witnesses, with my fingers lazily strolling through her hair. Rachel corresponded my advances, went into my rhythm. So good, so in tune.

"I need a bath!" Rachel broke our kiss. "I'm smelling after my adventure at the airport."

"I don't care." I kissed her neck.

"But you could take a shower with me…"

"Really?"

"What about we take a bath together, and start our lovemaking session there. Then, we will come back at this huge bed already naked and I will let you have me in any position you want as a graduation gift."

"Any position? Can I have you against the wall and then you will kneel before me, eat me and make me cum? And after that you will be at your fours, so I can use that little friend a little bit?" I said while taking of her clothes and kissing her beautiful body.

"Yes!"

"And then can we finish the first round of our lovemaking session with that delicious 69?"

"Yes, please!"

"Deal!"

Rachel held my hand and let me to her bathroom. We didn't lose time and your lovemaking session started for good as soon as she turned the shower on.


	9. Chapter 9

**Breakdown**

**(Rachel)**

My plan was to spend two weeks in New York. Preferably, two weeks indoors, away from clubbing, fans eyes, paparazzi, gossip, candids, and even friends. I deserved some rest after intense season in L.A filming Slings and Arrows and all the scene I had to do to make my name known. I was still a C-List at Hollywood world, even thought I was quite an A-List at Broadway world after being a Tony's nominee for Across The Universe and have made another three musical plays. Last month I hired a coach to help me with the character I will do in an indie film. Because of that, I was practicing my Spanish, improving my pronunciation at the point to be better than Santana. On my little vacation in New York, I was also planning to dedicate a little more time at my studio and try to write some songs and also take care of my room and take away things that Santana stuck in my closet.

All these things seemed so important when I returned to New York. And all of this lost value in the second my father called me to break the news: abuela passed away.

Quinn asked a few days at work to accompany me back to Lima for the funeral that was going to happen three days after the death, just to wait for the family to meet in full. Santana interrupted her vacation in Hawaii and faced a long flight to be here. She arrived exhausted at dawn in the Cleveland airport. She, Johnny and my grandparents from the Berry side were already on way to the funeral. Julio and Mercedes came by car from Chicago, Tia Rosa arrived with whole family from Indiana, and my parents, who had moved definitively to Columbus, were in their way.

Everyone settled as possible in available homes in Lima. Tia Maria stayed Tia Rosa and family. Judy Fabray was kind enough to have me at her house. It was the first time that I slept one night there. My parents would come from Columbus but I doubt that papi would to stay in town after the funeral.

"Hello girls. The sun is shining..." I heard Judy's voice invading Quinn's old room. I didn't believe she had the chutzpah to invade the room of a couple. Quinn and I were just cuddling, but we could be doing something else. Not that I was in the spirit and mood to do anything else.

"Jesus Christ, mother!" Quinn groaned loudly and I wanted to hide under the covers because I was shirtless.

"But you said I should warn you if you lose time. It's almost eleven. You should eat something and sunbathe before de funeral."

"A knock on the door would be enough!" Quinn complained for both of us.

"I knocked on the door several times before taking this drastic measure, Quinnie!" Was she going to give us privacy? Was it possible? "Shelby called me because Rachel didn't answer her cell. She wanted to say that she and Juan just arrived in Lima in two cars because of Rachel and her sister. So, you girls will have one to drive back to Columbus after the funeral, if it is your wish."

"Thank you, Judy." I said.

She nodded and finally left. I relaxed a little more and felt the comforting arm of my girlfriend around my waist. She pulled me in order to make me closer against her body.

"Sorry to make you go through it." I said softly and kissed her.

"Do not apologize for it, Rach. Know that I am here to provide the support you need."

"Thank you."

I had no words. I just wanted to thank my girlfriend and kissed her again. Then, my stomach complained. That's ok, because I wouldn't do more than kiss at that moment. We put some clothes on, went to the kitchen and found the table still set. Judy didn't question the fact that we are there eating breakfast at lunch time. After all, hunger hit after having spent almost a whole day without eating. When we left the table, it was time to get ready. I put a black dress, Judy also wore a black one, but not Quinn, who opted for a dark blue one. We put our bags in the car and Judy drove us to the St. Mary church in Lima Heights Adjacent, community that abuela worked for during the time she lived in the United States.

Quinn and I walked hand in hand in a place that was incredibly crowded, so they had to reserve seats only for the family. Abuela was a strong woman who had a positive impact in the community and the response of her actions was there: there were all kind of people sitting, standing in the aisles and some other outside: the seamstresses from the cooperative, people from the church, the little farmers, family friends, dangerous-looking people, gang member or something that abuela tried to help. Even preacher Brody, a severe republican that loved argue with abuela about politics, was there paying his respect.

I stared at the crowd in amazement and people looked back with silent vote of condolence. I further squeezed Quinn's hand and made a tremendous mental exercise to not cry right there.

When I arrived at the seats reserved for family, I saw that almost everyone was there, but aunt Rosa. In silence, I gave my father and aunt Maria a tight hug. She seemed stronger, more resigned than the others. My father had swollen eyes and haggard appearance. I hugged zaide, bubbee and then exchanged a long hug to my sister, who was also very tired.

"Say this is not happening..." I whispered in her ear.

"I wish I could, Ray."

She wiped a tear on my face, rehearsed a smile and I left her alone to talk with others: Johnny, my cousins, my friends. The ceremony began shortly after the arrival of aunt Rosa. The priest made a short speech about the numerous actions abuela made in the community and what a strong and special woman she was.

Abuela's link with religiosity always came involved with politics, in a way. As a member of the Communist Party of Chile, Miranda Echevera Lopez, my abuela, helped in many social work undertaken by priests in Chile. She left school when she was 14, but she read everything: Karl Marx, Dostoievski, Hanna Arendt, John Locke, John Reed, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Pablo Neruda, José Saramago… even Michael Moore. She attracted the attention of a 16 years older Chilean intellectual, and married him. I can't remember it, because Santana and I were two when Ernesto passed away, but papi told us all the interesting discussions abuela and her husband used to have.

After the dictatorship in Chile, some priests helped the Lopez family escape, since my grandparents were targeted by the military. They left the country in 1977 and took refuge in US. After some years, they all became American citizens.

While Ernesto Lopez worked at the OSU's campus in Lima, Miranda tried to solve the difficulties to adapt in such a different country, raise her kids, and somehow continue the community work she loved to do. That was when she learned to speak her odd English and became one of the most beloved people of Lima Heights Adjacent and the of the Latino community.

When the priest asked if the family had prepared a speech, uncle Pedro arose. He looked at abuela in the coffin and took out a paper.

"Good afternoon." He said shy. "I met Miranda and the Lopez family in this church. They had just running away from a dictatorship, unlike me, that I ended up here by the dream of an opportunity. It was here that I met my wife, Maria. When I sit on those seats, I always remember that." He gave a short break. "Miranda was known to all of us to be a wise counselor, one unifying woman, a leader of our community. Few of you know, despite this is not a secret, that she liked to write little thoughts in moleskins. They were messages that she put on paper whenever she felt like it. The last she wrote was eight months ago. She said:

_"They asked me what would be my New Year's wish. I've never thought about it because my desires have no date or time to happen. I have desires at any moment: the most trivial to the most valuable. Even so, I stopped to think about it._

_Here I am in my old age, going to the end of my life. I realize that I do not have desires for myself. My wishes are for others, for these young heads of my family and my dear friends. I wish these people who I love, to know that they should live intensely and not be afraid of it. _

_I want everyone to be happy, but be patient because finding real happiness is not even an easy search. I wish health to walk in this life and vision in the hour of great decisions, which sometimes comes in small moments. I wish love. I want each one to find their soul mates, as I found mine._

_I wish the arduous search for knowledge, because it's everything we take from this life: experiences, works and wisdom. I wish goodwill and practice the true charity because those are the true food of the spirit. I wish fight, honesty and greatness of spirit. That's all I wish for these young minds so that they can look back and know that they lived intensely, were worthy, and reaped good results. - Miranda Lopez_"

Uncle Pedro left the altar under applause. My vision was blurred by tears. To my surprise, Julio, Daniela and Santana were the next to rise. My cousin, guitar in hand, took the microphone.

"Abuela dijo que conoció Violeta Parra. Era su cantante favorito. Cuando nosotros, los nietos, éramos pequeños, abuela contaba historias de Chile. Y cantaba. Esse era su canción favorita. Rachel? Puede venir?"

I was surprised and I hesitated to go the aisle to join my sister and my older cousins. Julio sat down on a chair and played a few notes. I knew the main songs of Violeta Parra, but I didn't know if I would remember the lyrics. Julio began to play and Santana made the main voice.

"_Gracias a la vida que me ha dado tanto/Me dio dos luceros que, cuando los abro,  
>perfecto distingo lo negro del blanco y en el alto cielo su fondo estrellado/ y en las multitudes el hombre que yo amo._"

Daniela and I began to harmonize with Santana as she continued to sing prettily.

"_Gracias a La vida que me há dado tanto/ Me há el oído, em todo su ancho/ Graba noche y dia grillos y canários/ martillos, turbinas, ladridos, chubascos/ Y La voz tan tierna de mi bien amado._"

I took the lead vocals of the next lines.

"_Gracias a La vida que me há dado tanto/ Me há dado el sonido y el abecedario/ com El lãs palabras que pienso y declaro/ madre, amigo, Hermano, y luz alumbrado/ La ruta del alma del que estoy amando._"

I began to thrill to see my father turning his face to the side, trying to control his tears. I only saw my father crying freely once in my life. It was the day that Daddy died. And there was he trying to hold back without success. I tried to keep singing with my voice more blurred.

"_Gracias a La vida que me há dado tanto/ me há dado La marcha de mis pies cansados/ com ellos anduve ciudades y charcos/ playas y desiertos, motañas y llanos/ y La casa tuya, tu calle y tu pátio._"

I couldn't do it more. I let my sister and my cousins sing the rest of the song. Quinn looked at me this time. She was teary-eyed, trying to give me strength even from there.

I hadn't realized, but several people were humming the song with us and it made me even more emotional. Santana took my hand and led me back to the seats. Quinn wrapped me in her arms and didn't pay attention when one of the community members took the mic and speech.

Perhaps the song has been very little to represent the family in front of others. I didn't know what kind of impression it should leave. What could I say? Maybe something humorous in that she was right when she insisted that to make a good cake you should first mix the eggs, butter and sugar together. Santana use to say "the order of the factors doesn't change the product." The mathematics of cooking is quite different: one day I tried to make cake in New York. I put all the ingredients in the mixer and let them mixing for a while. When I tasted the mass, I realized it was missing something: sugar. I put the ingredient and hit just a little more. The cake was a disaster. Abuela was right: the order of the ingredients does matter!

Or maybe I should confess that I, Rachel Berry-Lopez, the Broadway actress who lives in New York, forgot to invite my own grandmother for a trip to one of the world's capital and see me acting. I forgot to invite that old lady who tried to watch all my amateur performances in Lima, that encouraged me to follow my dreams when I was crying in her backyard because Santana, Daniella or some classmate made a cruel comment. Abuela watched me singing along with amateur theater group of the city. They were boring stuff, I now realize that, but she did it because she loved me. Still, I didn't have the courage even to visit her when she was wasting away... I avoided her. I didn't care about her feelings or anyone else. Now it was too late. I felt like the worst of human beings. Just thinking about it, I got sick and had to run out of the church to breathe fresh air.

I supported my hand on the wall outside and threw up on the grass.

"Rach?" Quinn had followed me.

"I'm a horrible person, Quinn." I said between sobs. "The most selfish person in the world... How can you stand next to someone as bad as me? How can you continue with me after all I've done to you?"

"What did you do to me, Rachel?"

"I wanted to punish you because you cheated on me... I felt a pain so immense that I swore to myself I would not let it happen again. I got cold with you, I focused my energy on my career because I didn't want to think of us, I purposely put barriers on our relationship. I put you in difficulty. I wanted to kill you slowly inside me, Quinn. I didn't want to suffer so much if that happen again. I was purposely horrible to you, however, you're still with me."

My voice came out blurry, clumsy, which I wasn't even sure if she understood right, because all she did was hugging me. How was it possible? How could anyone want to stay with me after all I've done?

"Is it all right?" I heard Mercedes and barely had the energy to lift my face and look at my friend.

"Rach just got a little sick." Quinn assured as I cradled her in her arms. "Don't worry: everything is under control." Mercedes left to my relief. I needed time to calm down.

Quinn only freed me from her embrace when we saw people leaving. It was the final moment. My father, uncle Pedro, Julio and three men of the community, close friends of abuela, led the coffin to the car that would transport her to the cemetery. I didn't want to go there. I had no more strength to see the coffin going down. Seeing my daddy's was enough for a life.

"Ray?" Santana came to me and Quinn. "Johnny and I are taking Shelby's car and go straight to Columbus. Will you go to the cemetery?"

"No." I said wiping away my tears. "I'd rather go with you."

She nodded. Quinn went to her mother's car and took our packs. I didn't bother to say goodbye to people. I just wanted to get out. I was feeling the worst of human beings, and took the road to Columbus would be a relief. Quinn took the direction since it was impossible for me and Santana drive with maximum attention. It was almost two hours of the most quiet road trip I've ever done, and I needed that.

"Where is the new home of your parents?" Quinn asked as we entered the city. I had no idea, nor Santana. None of us have been there before. All we knew is that our parents were already in the new house and it was still reforming.

"Upper Chelsea Road." Santana consulted the GPS and went on to say directions.

It wasn't hard to find the new address. The neighborhood was good, the same socioeconomic level that we lived in Lima. And when we came across the house after made a little mistake with the streets, we came across a two-story house with modern design, but smaller than the one we had. There was a container in front and we could see construction debris and empty paint cans in it. Santana triggered the garage opener so Quinn could park the car.

Santana tried some of the keys to open the door. When she made it, we saw that the garage was connected to a corridor leading to the access to the basement, on one side, two small rooms with double bed in each and a shared bathroom on the side other side, and the same corridor lead to the living room. The kitchen was done, but the living room was still a go with stacked boxes, and plastic lined the floor to avoid drips and fresh paint stains. The walls were freshly painted and finished. There was a fireplace in the living room and it was connected to a space that could be the dining room or a second room. I thought it would be a dining room because it was next to the kitchen and that led to the stairs to the second floor. The dining room had some pads in the corners, and it gave access to the backyard. Upstairs there was a huge master bedroom that was easy to understand that it was my parents, with one hell closet and bathroom. The closet was still messy, full of boxes, there wasn't a curtain in the room but the bathroom was ok. There were only other room with a smaller bathroom upstairs, it wasn't difficult to presume it was Beth's by the single bed, wardrobe and boxes with toys.

"I think the two bedrooms downstairs near the garage are ours." Santana said with some embarrassment. "But the house is beautiful. I liked it a lot."

"Yes, It is. I liked it too." And we went downstairs.

"The basement is very nice." Johnny said with moderate enthusiasm. "It has a bar counter there, apparent stones and even a stylish difference of a step. And it seems to be reinforced in case of storms."

"The backyard one." She replied without hesitation. "This house has no curtains yet..."

"Fine..." I wasn't willing to give a show for the neighborhood anyway.

The bed was still wrapped in plastic. I would throw myself on it if not for the dust. I silently asked for help. Quinn understood and we both took off the protecting plastic. Only then I threw myself over and closed my eyes.

…

I woke up covered with a blanket and a pillow with pillowcase under my head. From that little bedroom, I could listen the continued movement of noise around the house. My parents were already at home, circling, fixing this and that with Johnny and Beth's help. Quinn and Santana were fixing something in the kitchen. My girlfriend smiled when she saw me. I went to her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"What are you doing?"

"Pancakes."

"For dinner? Interesting."

"Rachel." Santana warned. "Have you looked out the window today?"

That's when I noticed: it had daylight outside.

"What?" I was confused.

"You slept for eleven hours!" Quinn was admired. "When your parents arrived late at night, Shelby provided the bedclothes, but I didn't want to wake you up."

"Oh!" I was even moved. "What time is it?"

"It's almost eight in the morning, Ray."

I was astonished. I went back to the room and looked for my toothbrush and a comb. After a stop at that tiny bathroom, I went back to socialize with my family. Santana and Quinn was setting the table in the kitchen while Johnny was chatting with them, Beth was washing her hands, papi speaking on the telephone, and Shelby was ordering Lassie to stay in the backyard.

"Hey again." I said.

"Feeling better?" Shelby asked.

"Yes, mom. I am feeling much better."

"Yesterday wasn't easy for anyone."

"Yeah…"

"Ok guys!" Shelby said louder to everybody. "Let's eat!"

And we had breakfast as a family as long ago hadn't happened. Honestly I don't remember when was the last time that papi, Shelby, Santana, Beth and I were all together doing something so trivial together, much less with the presence of Quinn and now Johnny. I think it was our first time with all those people gathered. Despite the bad circumstances that let us together, there was a good feeling there, an encouragement that warmed my heart.

"Maybe in two weeks we can finish setting things up in here." My father said. "I know I left almost everything in Shelby's back, but I think I can help more in this final stretch."

"The job is almost done. We still have to finish some facilities, clean and start furnishing." My mother finished.

"This house is really beautiful." Johnny cringed.

"Shelby's choice. She's the one who has good taste here."

"And what will you do in the basement?"

"The idea is to make a family corner with books, albums, pictures… we want to put the piano there in the basement, because I put sound prove in order to practice some songs and plan my classes at OSU."

"You will put daddy's piano there?" Santana asked with a lint voice.

"It's the idea. Hiram's piano is a vertical spinet kind, so it becomes easier to go down with it, and it's beautiful. There is no reason to sell it." Santana nodded in agreement. She would be upset if the piano was put on sell, and so I.

"And about our rooms?" Santana spoke serious. "They had to be pretty much in the garage?"

"They aren't in the garage and they are good bedrooms, girls." Shelby defended. "You aren't living here anymore, so you don't need a big space to spend some days of the year in here."

She was speaking the truth. They were rooms with enough space to put a double bed and a small wardrobe. It was more than enough to me and Santana. The bathroom we share is quite small, but again, we weren't living with our parents anymore and we didn't need a bathtub. I was glad that my parents took us in consideration when they let us have our own room in the new house.

"And the beds?" Santana asked. "I mean... they aren't our old ones."

"I sold them, as well as your old furniture."

She didn't need to say any more. It was part of the deal and, again, I was glad that my parents bought new furniture, smaller furniture, to us. In the rest of the meal, we talked about a lot of things nut abuela's funeral. There was no need to remember it. And I was so glad to be there having my breakfast with the people I love the most in the world. Not that I love Johnny that much… but he's making my sister happy, and I'm glad for that.

The weather was good in Columbus. The blue sky was fabulous, but I had no desire to leave the house, even in a still messy and dusty one. I didn't want to walk around, explore the neighborhood and the rest of the city. I just wanted to stay in touch with the ones that mean a world to me. Quinn and I put the sheet in the bed and we lay down again cuddling in the process.

"You should walk a little, Rach. Breathe fresh air, you know?"

"I know, but I don't want."

"You scared me yesterday, in the church... I've never seen you so upset. I don't remember on seeing you like that even in Hiram's funeral."

"I was on automatic pilot in my daddy's funeral, that's why. I wasn't processing right what was going on that day. But in abuela's… I was actually paying attention. I don't know if it was her message or singing one of her favorite songs… or that huge crowd. All I know is that I started realizing things about my own life: important stuffs. And things I regret most."

"As the story of you punishing me?" I looked at Quinn. She didn't seem angry or rancidity of my revelation.

"That too." I looked her in the eyes. "I love you so much, Quinn. So much! But what happened to us... I didn't realize how much I was hurting myself on trying to hurt you."

"I won't say I'm ok with it, Rach, because you actually were hurting me. I knew why, but didn't understand the ratio, the continuity. I just thought I must have done something wrong besides that mistake, and that I deserved that treatment anyway. So I tried to figure out in a bad way."

"That's why you've been drinking more than your usual?"

"I'm afraid to draw any conclusions that go sound simplistic and accusatory. So I'm seriously inclined to accept Santana's suggestion and talk to a psychologist or somebody qualified to help me dealing with our relationship and to figure things about myself... To be fair: I wasn't being myself and our relationship's problems were just an excuse."

"Really?" My heart raced.

"I'll try a session. Who knows?"

"I'm glad, Quinn. I'm so glad that you are looking for help."

"Maybe you should do the same."

"I'll try someday." I ran my hand on my girlfriend's hair. "My personal life is kind of a mess right now, but I do have a certainty beyond death right now."

"Which one?"

"I want stop trying to kill you inside me. I'm done with this shit. I tried really hard, but I couldn't love you less. I just love you, Lucy Quinn Fabray, more than you think." Quinn's eyes flashed. I swear they flashed. But no words came out of her mouth. "Could you forgive me?" I asked and I was sincere.

Instead of responding with words, she kissed me on the lips: a slow wet kiss, accompanied by a few tears.

"Quinn..."

"Huh?" She opened her eyes after this little bliss.

"Happy Birthday."

She gave a shy and grateful smile. Quinn was completing 23.

"Quinn..."

"Huh?" Her features were lighter.

"I don't have a ring here, but would you marry me?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Irina Merkulova**

**(Quinn)**

"How can you eat this?" I tried a little of this vegetarian meat Rachel was eating. "It tastes like paper with salt, pepper and oregano."

"Have you ever eaten paper?" She smiled.

"Everybody eats paper at some point for some crazy reason…"

"Well, how can you eat this?" She pointed to my filet and did a disgusted face. "It's a piece of corpse with a little salt, pepper and oregano."

"But it's a delicious corpse! Do you want to try?" I cut a piece of the meat and offered. Rachel frowned and looked back to her own plate.

We were in a small restaurant near Bad Things' office in Madison. It was, in theory, the last day with my fiancee in a long time we would spend apart. Rachel flights tomorrow to Los Angeles to finish filming the season of Slings and Arrows and then she will travel to New Mexico, where it would be shot the indie film she agreed to be the protagonist. Two more months working at the other side of the country before she come back for good this year. Meanwhile I would keep my mind very busy: I will start to wake up early to catch a train to New Rochelle, go to Bad Things' studios and start filming the half hour comedy my bosses created for NBC. We had some pre-production going on: everything needed to be perfect for the actors arriving and start the real job, as is the rest of the support and production staff.

Theoretically, I would always have the Fridays off and the weekends since I have been shifted to the series and would fulfill its workload. It meant that I also have to work from six in the morning until two in the morning if it would be needed. And that's why the studio has a few dormitories for the staff in case someone doesn't have a home or hotel to go in New Rochelle, or unwilling to go back to Manhattan that day. I don't know if would face a journey of an hour with exchange stations after midnight to be back at seven in the morning. No way! It was better to sleep in the studio. I also had no car that could take me home to work in half hour.

But it wasn't what dominated my thoughts at that moment: Rachel and I will get married.

"I was thinking of a surprise dinner to break the news to our families." I digressed. We didn't tell before because of the mourning for Rachel's grandmother. It would be unpleasant shoot this kind of news days after the funeral. "We could do it after you back home in early October. What do you think?"

"It's more elegant and formal than do it by phone, for sure."

"Or shoot it in your parent's wedding party." I teased.

Rachel blushed. She regretted bitterly for doing that: shooting between friends and strangers an engagement that even lasted. But now we needed to think of something mature and serious.

"So we will officially be engaged at this dinner. We can do it right here in New York. This part is not difficult to do. I'm sure my parents would come, and we can send a ticket to your mother."

"I think it would be easier if we go to Columbus."

"But New York is the place where our story began."

"Actually, it's McKinley High, Lima. But I wouldn't be engaged at the choir room in the middle of teenagers I've never seen before just because Mr. Schue is still there… and Finn Hudson!" Rachel laughed at my observation.

"Indeed! I know it's easier doing it in Ohio, but New York is the right choice."

"Ok…"

"Now, what do we do with your father now that you're talking to him again?"

"For those who won't be at dinner, we will give a call. This is the case of my father and my sister... I think. For the rest of our relatives, we should let the family itself spread the news."

"So, we can do a dinner at my house and some specific official phone calls."

"Your place?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Yes, my place. It's more intimate and informal than go to a restaurant, and we can't do it at your place, for sure. We can make dinner ourselves!"

"It could be..." This led to another topic. "And how will it be when we get married?"

"How so?"

"Will we have our own place?"

"Doesn't my apartment count?" Rachel frowned. "I thought when we get married you would move in."

"But what about Santana?"

"What about her?"

"It's her place too, right?"

"For now, we can't afford a new apartment in a good neighborhood, and it would be silly to rent one since we have a huge place. Of course I want a place just to us here in New York, but I see no reason to rush things, sell the apartment only to split the money between us and Santana, and buy something not as nice. I think we can share some spaces with my sister at least in the beginning until we can have our own place here. And, don't forget that we do have a nice house in Santa Monica in case you want to spend some time in California next year with me."

I thought reasonable. In addition, knowing Santana, she would want to get out of there as fast as she can. I could even make a prediction: after her graduation next year, she will have to work full time in Weiz Co. and start her cast as heir of the company. Certainly she will have a great pay check and will be able to buy an apartment or rent one in a heartbeat. And it's very likely that Caleb Weiz will give her another apartment as a graduation gift.

"Okay, so let's announce the engagement at a dinner after you finish the movie and I move in after the wedding day." I stared. "We need to choose a date. Do you have any in mind?"

"We could set the date for November or early December."

"I would marry you today, Rach, but we can think of December. It's the best date thinking on pragmatic issues. I can take two weeks of vacation and splice it with the holiday's break. Unless you are against marry close to your birthday day, Hanukkah or Christmas."

"We'll find a good day, for sure."

"And about our names?"

"Do you want to discuss the names here, now?" She seemed puzzled. "I don't think so, miss Fabray. I won't give up my Berry-Lopez so easy."

"Berry-Lopez-Fabray is too long."

"We always can cut the Fabray!"

"So let discuss the names later. We're only here for the general plans... what's missing?" I forced my mind to see the mental list of things I wanted to discuss with my fiancée. "Reception!" I suddenly said. "Will we have one?"

"Of course we will!" Rachel said a bit loud catching the attention of the couple of the next table. Then, she said almost whispering. "I think reasonable to have a small reception only to our family and close friends. Our marriage needs to be confidential, Quinn. I think about doing something for 70 people maximum. Maybe less."

"It seems a lot of people to maintain secrecy."

"Not so much. We're..." And she paused to count on the fingers quickly. "Twenty people in my family side and about six of yours."

"Why only six of my side? I might want to invite... whatever... my grandfather Penn!"

"The one you never see or talks about because he's anti-gay ex-preacher and would have a heart attack if he knew your true sexuality? How long have you not participated in a meeting of your families or speak with your aunts? You know all my cousins, but I never saw a single one of yours!"

"You have a point."

"So! We will invite our close family." She emphasized the world close this time. "And our older friends: Johnny, Mike, Santiago, Brittany, Kurt and Mercedes."

"No one else from Lima? From our glee club?"

"When was the last time we spoke to Tina? Or Artie or Sam or even Puck, who is the father of your kid? Besides, I doubt you'd want to see Finn in our marriage. At most, I would invite Mr. Schue and Emma."

"You have a point… again. I would also invite Roger. Whether or not he was very important to us." I knew Rachel didn't like our ex-boss, but Roger is still my friend and he was the one who gave that card that changed our lives forever.

"We will think about this list another time."

"Okay."

My phone rang. It was a text message and hurried to check. I was at lunch time and never knew when they would need me for something.

"_**I got the job. Thanks for the tip NinjaQ. I owe you a lunch**_" - Jane

I smiled and it caught Rachel attention, who looked at me with suspicion.

"Who send you a message that made you open that smile?"

"Jane." I showed the message to Rachel. It had nothing to hide.

"It's that little hipster girl who sang with you that your graduation party at the pub?" She was still in suspicious tone. "And what the hell is NinjaQ?"

"It's just a nickname she put on me because she says I have ninja skills for photography and cinematography things. That's all. The job she's talks about was to be a production assistant for a short film Lewis is doing. Apparently, she got the job." I hold my fiancée hand. "Jane is harmless, and she's straight."

"Oh, so you have discussed about sexuality?"

"Everyone of Bad Things knows I'm gay, Rach. Unlike you, I don't need to hide it."

"And everyone of my family knows I'm with you, Quinn, as well my closest friends. I don't need to hide it from the people that matters. In fact, you will have the chance voice to all your problems today at the therapy, right? I hope you make good use of it for the sake of our future marriage."

I had an appointment with the psychologist after my shift. Santana paid my first visit and even used an extra for some privileges. She thinks I don't know this, but I swore reward her in some way. The psychologist was the same she consulted last year. This doctor also has patients from Weiz Co. and Santana assured that if she could handle with a bunch of complexed business guys, certainly she could handle me. I wasn't so sure. The truth is that I was afraid of the doctor could see in me. I was afraid to face my demons.

We finished lunch and pay our bills. Rachel wanted to pay everything, but I thought better each bear our own consumption. And I needed to use my food stamps. She hates when I use my blue collar benefits. So what? I'm a blue collar worker. All though a cinema area, but still, I'm the working class. Being camera operator in cinema is very different from being a mere cameraman as some ignorant insisted saying. I have to precisely execute the movements ordered by the director and cinematographer. I am often the communication link between them at the time of filming. I'm the one who focus dial. Believe it or not, you need to rehearse with the actors to apply the techniques properly. I have to do all kinds of report involving shake issues, problems of focus or brightness. If I don't know the right techniques, if I don't understand photography, the work is lost. In often accumulated some functions of first assistant camera. I mounted and dismounted equipment, made the previous tests and everything. I still had the experience of being a director of photography on other occasions, which facilitated, and my communication with others involved.

In any case, regardless of our marriage, I was determined not to be intimidated with grotesque wage gap between me and Rachel. She had a credit card with world size limit. I had food stamps and transportation vouchers, a basic health insurance plan provided by the company, plus a small salary, but a decent one, and I had a lot of my sweat there.

"Do you go to my place after your appointment?" She asked.

"It's the plan." Of course I would spend the night with Rachel knowing that she would go to California the next morning.

We hugged before leaving. No kissing in public, especially on the lips, like we used to before. All because, for the general public, that was Rachel Berry: the heterosexual actress. I tried not to think about it. Rachel took a cab and I go back to the office on foot.

Time ran in the afternoon and when I found myself, I had to run to the south of Manhattan, where is Irina Merkulova's office. She's Russian naturalized American, graduated in Brown with doctorate degree at Stanford. I looked at her resume on the Internet. Her academic history justified the fee. I knew I couldn't afford weekly visits: maybe twice a month if I can join the group of probono patients. My certainty is that my health insurance didn't cover a treatment with her. I arrived in SoHo at the last minute. Not for consultation, but by the time her receptionist asked me to come in advance with the first contact. The office was in the corner building between Broadway and Prince Street. It was a nicely decorated space, yet unobtrusive. I went to the counter and I was panting. The receptionist looked at me and I could read her face: "what this girl is doing here?"

"I have an appointment with doctor Merkulova. I'm scheduled at seven. My name is Quinn Fabray." I showed my I.D. She glanced at the computer, took some papers on a clipboard and handed me.

"First time, right?" I nodded. "Fill out these forms with the greatest possible degree of accuracy and delivered me once you finish."

"May I ask why?"

"It's for your file and the doctor needs a minimum previous knowledge about you, right?"

It made perfect sense. I sat on a sofa and tried to answer the forms. I began to understand why it was necessary to arrive early at the first visit: I had to do that part. It seemed that I was filling a census form. Full name, age, sex, address, ethnicity, sexual orientation, marital status, income, immigration, education, profession, religion, parents, children, siblings, etc. The second form ask about my health history: if had done surgery, if I was doing some kind of treatment, if I suffered some phobia or taking prescription medication, if I had already sought a psychologist before, how would I describe my emotional state, if I smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. The third and last was milder. It asked about eating habits, if I do regular exercise, my reading habits, literary genres I like, what I like to do on my free time. I failed to answer more than predicted because it is difficult to reveal certain things with maximum possible accuracy. Do I drink? Yes, I do. How much? I would respond socially, but a Santana wouldn't hesitate to classify me as an almost alcoholic person.

I returned the forms to the receptionist and she put everything in a new folder labeled with my name. She asked me to wait to be called, than she forced a three-second smile at me before knocked the door and delivers my file to the doctor. It was Friday, the receptionist was a young woman relatively attractive that should have a boyfriend waiting for her after work. Well, good news, dear receptionist: I'm in the same board. I also have my lover waiting for me. After ten minutes, the door opened and a woman about 40 years old called my name.

"Miss Fabray." She smiled and held out her hand to greet me. "I'm Irina Merkulova. Come in."

The office had almost the same style like as the reception room. It had nice light colors in the walls, no heavy wooden shelves. It was like a good room with a few quirks. There was the traditional divan that played the sofa, two armchairs, abstract paintings, a coffee table with a kind of vase full of objects like balls tightening. A pot next door had candies. In the corner of the room there was a table, chair, computer, personal items such as picture frames, and diplomas on the wall.

"Make yourself comfortable, Miss Fabray. Sit wherever you want."

I nodded and chose the armchair and I was silent waiting for the doctor. She wasn't particularly pretty, but she knew how to dress classy. Her hair was short, no glasses, high heels, and a tablet in hand, besides the file with my forms. I was facing a stylish mature woman who naturally intimidated anyone.

"Can I have one of these balls?" I asked. It would be useful to relieve tension.

"Of course. You also can take a candy or a gum over there. Or drink some water or herbal tea, but you can't drink coffee. That's mine."

I chose a soft blue ball and started manipulating it in hands while the doctor seemed to look inside my head.

"Very well, Miss Fabray, or could I call you Lucy?"

"I'd rather be called Quinn, although many of my friends call me by my surname. You decide." I said awkwardly.

"So you can call me Irina, Quinn."

"Thank you, Irina."

"All right, Quinn. I must say that you gave me an interesting read through these forms. I'm facing a young beautiful woman, recently graduated at NYU, no apparent health problems, with normal habits for someone at your age, but who identifies as gay, Christian, besides being a teenage mother."

"Yes." I was embarrassed. "Except that I gave my kid to adoption after her born. So, I'm a mother, but not… a mother."

"Right…" She wrote something. "Why do you decide to seek a psychologist?"

"I..." It was very difficult for me to open myself. But once I was there, so it was better to face the pump. "I was convinced by one of my best friends... my soon to be sister-in-law, actually. I've been going through some turmoil in my personal life and she said maybe talk about it with a professional could help."

"How did you find me?"

"This friend of mine is Santana Berry-Lopez. You treated her last year. She said I could trust on you, so, here I am."

"If she is your soon to be sister in law, it means you're not so single."

"Oh, I forgot to specify. Sorry. I'm engaged."

"Ok." She made another note. "And those turmoil's that made you come here?"

"It's a long story, doctor. Sorry… Irina."

"That's why we're here."

Irina looked at and I took a deep breath.

"I'm living a long and serious relationship with an actress for five years. The one I'm engaged now. We had a short break two years ago that shook me a lot. I started drinking a little too much. Not everyday, of course. But I noticed that I've been drinking more than my friends when we do it together. I don't think it's a real problem, but Santana thinks it is."

"There are other things afflicting you?"

"My relationship to begin with. My girlfriend, I mean, fiancée, has a career on the rise and our relationship need to stay away from the public eye. When she proposed me…" I couldn't help but smile. "I said yes, but that doesn't mean some things will change after our marriage. We will have to live something secret."

"Does that bother you more than you think it should?"

"It's not easy. Not that I have pride rainbow flag, go to gay pubs and everything. I don't say loud my sexuality to the world, but I also don't hide it, and it has never caused me problems. Rachel... that's her name... she... she comes from an unorthodox family. She was raised by two gay parents. I mean, one of them is bisexual and he's married to a woman now... complicated story. When she does interviews, she reaffirms her support for gay rights and tells her story. The fans love it. The industry loves it. She, herself, is gay, but she has to pose as straight. And I have to stay in the shadows. I know she's not the only one doing it, but it's difficult to live with this hypocrisy. So yeah, it bothers me."

"Would you put her career in an alleged risk because of the nature of your relationship?"

"No way!" I blurted. "I would never hurt her that way."

"Even deep inside?" Irina faced me for the first time since I arrived and I couldn't answer it. As my answer didn't come, she sought to move on. "We will work on it later… So, you had a daughter at 16 but you put her for adoption. Do you have any contact with her?"

"When I put her for adoption, I gave up all my rights. But funny story: Shelby adopted her and about seven or eight months later, she started dating Juan Lopez. Shelby is the biological mother of Rachel and Santana, and Juan is their father… the bisexual one. I've been seen my daughter since then."

"This is… wow. There are many seams between you and your fiancée's family, right?"

"Tell me about it... anyway, this year they decided to tell the truth to Beth, my daughter, and she began to reject me. Before knowing, she was friendly to me."

"What did you do?"

"I went to my mother's house, cried a lot and I got drunk."

"Just kill me a curiosity, Quinn. When you first get involved with Rachel, did you know that her parents had adopted your daughter?"

"Oh, this is very complicated. My story with Rachel began before that. Before I got pregnant."

"But you said you have a five-year relationship, that means you started dating when you were 18."

"When I was 17 and half, actually. I had a secret crush on Rachel since I was 15. I was a popular girl raised by a homophobic parents, the winner one. She was the local underdog diva raised by gay dads, the loser one. Our worlds could never mix, still, they mixed thanks to the school's glee club. At that time I was very confused about my sexuality and tried to go out with boys. I got pregnant from a guy who wasn't even my boyfriend. Again, I drank a little too much and trust on this guy about protection. He said we were safe, but he lied."

"What happened after that, besides you getting pregnant?"

"I said to the whole school that the father's kid was my boyfriend at the time: the one I've never slept with."

"What?"

"He was dumb enough to believe that he got me pregnant when he ejaculated at the Jacuzzi."

"What?" This time Irina couldn't help but laughed. What I could say: it was funny!

"Anyway, Puck, the real father, took my virginity in the day we conceived Beth. He was the only one at school that knew the truth when I told everybody that Finn got me pregnant. Eventually everybody knew the truth, but before that, Finn went to my house for a dinner and he told my parents that I was pregnant. My father disowned me and threw me out. Finn gave me shelter, and after the truth came out, I had others shelters thanks my glee club friends. Anyway, that's when I decided to put my kid for adoption. I couldn't keep her being a homeless teen. Even when my mother asked me to come back, I still couldn't. A crazy woman tried to adopt my kid, but thank God it didn't work. Then, Shelby showed up. She was living her own issues with her daughters because, like me, she gave them up, but unlike me, Rachel and Santana were designed in the laboratory and Shelby got pregnant already under a contract. She tried to contact Rachel and Santana after 16 years but things didn't work. So, she decided to adopt a child and Beth was just there, newly born."

"Do you regret it?"

"I don't know… I…"

One more question I couldn't truly answer. Actually, I've never stopped to think about it. Watching my silence, Irina let me breath a little bit.

"What about your father?"

"What about my father?"

"You said your mother asked you to come back home. What about your father?"

"He wasn't there. He was having an affair, my mother found out and filed for divorce. Only then she took me back. As for my father, he moved out to Texas and is married again. I didn't talk with him for seven years. Then, he came to my graduation at NYU and we started talking again. Not much… baby steps, you know."

"Does he know you're homosexual?"

"Yup. My older sister told him."

"When did you told to your family about your sexuality?"

"After a few months dating Rachel, when I was already living here in New York. I told my mother by phone and at Thanksgiving I found out she didn't digest well the news. It took a while for her accept that I am gay and also my relationship with Rachel."

"And when did you realize that you're homosexual."

"I've always found women more attractive and I had this crazy crush on Rachel. But I think the first time I came out to myself was when I was dating a guy called Sam. We had sex but it didn't feel right. Them I had sex with a woman for the first time. It was just a one night stand, but, damn, it made me know."

"Right…" Irina wrote more. At least she was paying attention. "And you're a cinematographer."

"Yes, I am."

"Are you working on cinema?"

"Almost… I'm working as a camera operator and photographer at Bad Things Productions. Until today I was at its agency, but next week I will start working at New Rochelle studios filming a comedy series produced by Bad Things for NBC."

"So, are you happy at work?"

"Yes, I am. It's not a place I earn a good salary, but I feel like I am valued. I was hired months before I graduate, I have a great coordinator and I'm doing what I've been studing for. That's all I wanted for now."

"For now?"

"Oh, I studied to be a cinematographer, to direct things. I have been filmed small productions, but I seek the great productions. For now it's nice doing TV, but it is not my goal as a professional."

"Let me recap, Quinn. You grew up in a traditional family and I assume with conservative foundations." I nodded. "You had relationship problems with your family due to teenage pregnancy and also because of your sexual orientation." I nodded again. "You're in a relationship with an actress who can't take you publicly, and that her parents adopted your daughter." I nodded again. "So you started having some personal problems and started drinking alcohol. Assuming you don't have many professional problems, your personal problems are the origin of your main inner demons." It looks like she got the big picture. "One more question for today: you said you're in love with Rachel from high school but began a relationship with her in New York or something. But you're from Ohio..."

"Excuse the mess. We are all from Ohio. Rachel and I come from a small town called Lima and we were part of the glee club. In our Junior year, our glee club qualified for the Nationals in New York. One producer was there looking for good and super cheap actors and singers to explore in his off-off Broadway musical play. He pre-selected some people: Rachel, Santana and a friend of ours, Mike Chang, stayed for the audition. Rachel and Mike managed to get the part, I got a trainee job in producing and Santana would be here anyway because she had to study in Stuyvesant High. We all moved together to New York at ours 17 and 18 years old and we basically had to survive by ourselves. I mean... the twins always had help and protectors, but Mike and I had to work our asses off."

"Then, to put the icing on the cake, after all you've been through, you're studying, working and surviving in the largest city of our country since you were 18 and was still in high school?"

"Basically."

"You support a lot of pressure, Quinn, and maybe it's time to talk about all these problems before they turn into serious trouble. Some researchers, including me, believe that the first step to develop a disease is in the psychic field, when your mind isn't balanced enough, when you have a lot of unsolved problems, and when your soul, if you believe on it, is kind of broken. In a second step, it go to the field of sensations. It's a headache here, a thrill there, a tightening in the chest, a weight in the stomach, you have certain impulses, develops vices and foibles. The third stage is the manifestation of the disease itself, which can be a lot of things: ulcer, alcoholism, cancer, and all the diseases that can have emotional origin. You're already at the second stage: the sensations. It means that the accumulation of unresolved things you keep inside is leaving out somehow. I think I can help you deal with your problems in the area of psychology. And what are the weapons that we use? Our conversations here, and I can teach you some therapeutic tricks, some techniques that will make you feel better. I will help you facing your inner demons. It's not easy, but it's a job you must do. Are you willing to do that?"

"I think so. The problem is that I don't know if I can continue. You are a great professional, but I can't afford this treatment... This appointment was paid by Santana..." She looked at me in a way that made me embarrassed. It was so humiliating to confess such thing. "It's not that I want anything for free, because I always paid for my things since I got here, but you are a high profile professional, and I can't..."

How could I afford $300 each session? It was simply impossible within my current possibilities. Not when I had to pay part of the rent, fees and grocery shopping. And there was a wedding coming on. Irina went to her table in the office and picked up some papers.

"I think I can and I want help you, Quinn. You will go to my secretary and give it to her. Then you will book our next session next week. If you always paid for your things, how about you pay $50 for each session. Do you think you can afford it?"

"You do not need..."

"I call it a plan to some special patients."

"But..."

"This is my proposal. The decision to accept or not is yours, Quinn."

"Well..." I opened a smile. "I think I'll take it."

"Great. When you dial your next visit, tell her the session price I did to you. "

"Thank you, Irina. Thank you so much." I got up from her armchair and Irina walked me to the door.

I went to her secretary and did exactly what I was asked. The secretary didn't question when I said that my sessions would cost $50. She simply made a note in my file and booked the next session. I didn't know set and I felt when I left that office, but if I could point a sense, this would be hope. I took a bus toward Upper Side in quiet day in New York.

When I got in Rachel's building, my future home, I took the elevator and found the door already open. Rachel greeted me with a nice kiss and then led me to the kitchen. It was almost nine o'clock and she was still expecting me to dinner. Santana had done her meal, for a change, and was working in her office.

"How was it?" Rachel was eager to know about my session.

"It was only a presentation of my inner big picture, but I liked it. Santana was right: it was good and I think Irina can help me."

"That's good!"

We continue our dinner. Santana went through the kitchen and picked up a packet of cookies. She looked more like a zombie with a frown in her face: sign that we should stay away. Even so I approached and placed a kiss on her cheek. Santana was surprised by my gesture.

"Thank you... for everything." She softened her features and nodded.

"I'm always saving your life, Fabray. Remember this!"

This was the old Santana I love. She turned her back with the packet of biscuits in hand and went back to the studio/office. Rachel hugged me from behind and put her chin on my shoulder.

"I was waiting for you because I have no one to rub my back in the bath."

"I can help you if you want." I said looking seduce.

Rachel smiled, held my hand and led me to her bedroom. Our future bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

**Santana and Johnny and... Brittany?**

**(Santana)**

I opened my eyes with the movement in my bed. Johnny was standing and he was never subtle. The impression I had is that he hopped out of the mattress. My boyfriend was clumsy for many things. It was unbelievable how he have sensitivity to make the most perfect tattoos on the skin of someone, an art in which he couldn't go wrong in any way. Johnny had an amazing taste to enjoy drinks and tidbits about to argue with any chef. Not that he has done so ever. Like Quinn, he had an incredible eye for details. He was passionate when we talk about music. His theory is that nothing good is produced today. In a way, I need to agree with him because I don't like much the current pop music.

Unlike me, Rachel and Mike, who were hardcore Democrats, and Quinn, who was Republican, Johnny had undeclared political party. He had an almost corporate vision of politics: analyzing the proposals and made a reflection of what he thought would be good for the country at that moment. Then voted without commotion, unpainted face and without using the colors of the parties shirts. In my preparation to take a large company, my posture should be almost the same, except that I should look at who would benefit my business better. But I still didn't have that coldness of thought.

Johnny had no problems with skin color, social status, religions or sexual orientation of people. Perfect man, right? Far from it. The same Johnny so coordinated to draw, was a mess with his feet. He's stumbling on something, he wasn't good at any sports with a ball, was afraid of driving and he dances like David Boreanaz (actually, this is gold). My boyfriend had serious family problems, and sometimes I think Johnny is the kind of person who may suffer from depression.

He had habits that sometimes conflicted with some of mine. Johnny wasn't ambitions and I prepared to deal with real problems with more than seven digits. He had socialist thought and I was a capitalist. He was Beatles, I was Rolling Stones. He liked European cinema, I liked blockbusters. He was the whiskey class, and I was the beer class. I liked peanuts (both peanuts), he liked pumpkin seed. He didn't like sci-fi and fantasies series, but I loved it. I prefer music videos, and he liked watching music shows. I read economy editorials, he read about arts. He loved comedies, I enjoyed adventures. Sometimes he irritates me and I want to kick him on his balls. On the other hand, I love when he just keep me company and these moments were far from rare, to my joy.

Sometimes this bothers me, but it's like Quinn used to say: he's the first person I let into my true intimacy since Brittany, which requires adjustments and time.

"Morning!" Johnny kissed me when he saw that I was awake, after he returned from the bathroom. He was naked because that's how we slept after our sexual activities. I avoided calling my boyfriend to sleep the whole night in my apartment because I liked having the bed to myself. At the beginning, when Rachel went to Los Angeles, it was terrible stay alone in that huge apartment. Johnny often showed up to sleep with me. And Quinn, when I had to rescues her in a pub. But then I got used to having my little corner all to myself and didn't want to lose this privilege anytime soon. That didn't mean I didn't like to see my boyfriend naked and in my bed once while. He had a beautiful ass and a fit body.

"Good morning." I said watching Johnny wearing his pants.

"What are you doing today?"

"Routine." I threw the sheet aside. "I'll take a ride now, take care of Rock'n'Pano and then study."

"I thought you are taking this Saturday off." Johnny looked pointedly at my body and stroked the side of my breast. I like his touch, but it wasn't time. I pushed his hand.

"Not now, Johnny Boy. You tired me off last night, and I still have work to do." I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I hated other people seeing me do my needs. It was something unnecessary in my book of intimacy boundaries. "Will you work today?" I asked loud for him to hear me through the door.

"Yeah, but not in the studio. I need to do one last check on my book before send the files to my editor."

"Do you need to go right now?"

"If you want me to."

"I was thinking on jogging a little bit in the Central Park."

"That, I can do."

I left the bathroom wrapped in my robe, wear my panties and left the room. Johnny followed me into the kitchen to fix the breakfast: nothing but a piece of plain cake, juice and a banana.

"So…" He asked after our light breakfast, jogging or riding a bike?"

"Bike! But you can't run ahead…"

Johnny took Rachel's old pink bike. It was amazing and funny seeing a guy like him in a girly bike, even though he had a great sense of humor about it. I liked to work out with him because Johnny pushes me more, especially at the time we stop to do some push-ups and sit-ups. The problem is that I didn't t always enjoyed his methodology. I put an outfit: fitness pants, cotton shirt with Blondie print, shoes, ponytail and dark aviator glasses, because I was a badass.

While we were going toward Central Park, Johnny slowed down, and pedaled as if he were my guardian, but when we arrived, he behaving changed and he tried to challenge me all the time, even at that stupid pink bicycle with basket. From the second round, Johnny began to accelerate and ignore me. It was my weak: competition. Johnny did it to instigate me, I could feel. I started to speed up. But as I reached him, he forced further just to tease me. It drove me crazy. If he wanted real competition, that was exactly what he would get. And my bike was way better.

"Asshole!" I shouted so I passed him. I looked back and stuck my tongue.

"San!" He shouted. "Brake!"

When I looked forward, I was on a collision course with another cyclist who was standing on the track for some reason. I braked but it was too late. We collided and I fell. When I realized, had bike on top of me, a woman underneath and a totally confused scene. Johnny appeared in my field of vision and looked terrified.

"Are you okay?" He took the bike on top of me and helped me and the woman to get up carefully. He held my hand and that's when I realized the pain.

Part of my leg was scratched, my right arm elbow too and may have broken a finger for the hell of pain I felt. Fuck. Just fuck!

"A thousand pardons." Despite the pain, I said almost begging for the woman, actually a cyclist with traditional uniform, shoes, helmet and friendless expression. "I'm so sorry..." I barely noticed I was crying in pain by because of the finger.

"It should look where you're going." She said on an understandable bad mood. She was also slipped, but the one who took the worst was me. "And you should also go to a hospital, girl. Look at your hand."

"I'm sorry too." Johnny said. "The fault is entirely mine because I distracted her doing a silly joke that hence the accident. You can blame me and to sue me if you want." He gave her his card, who softened her features.

"Gee… that's what you get when you're riding your girlfriend's bike."

"Actually, that's her sister's, and I agree with you. My girlfriend here is mean."

"Well, I didn't get hurt as your girl." The cyclist frowned. "And seems that my bike didn't break anything. But if I need to do some repair…" She looked at the card. "John Hall Jr… I'll call you."

"It's totally fair, mrs…"

"Gabriela Buck."

"Gabriela Buck?" I said. "You're Gabriela Buck… the owner of PinkyBriders?" It was a company organizing wedding parties of all kinds: the most traditional to the most colorful and innovative. My finger was throbbing, but, hey, she had a strong name in the market and I actually read it in a magazine. I heard she was expanding her services to Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

"Why? Are you getting married?" It looked like she was approached by many couples out there.

"No... I have read… about your company... in Business Week." I spoked pausing the words because of the pain.

"A beautiful young woman who reads about business? That's not so usual." Now she seemed curious.

"Santana Berry-Lopez." I introduced myself.

"Berry-Lopez… wait… The Santana Berry-Lopez? Are you Caleb Weiz's granddaughter?"

"Oh, you know him…" Damn it, Mr. Weiz!

"Yes, his one of my father's closest friends. I heard about you. You're running a small internet company just for fun, right?" Just for fun? Fuck you, lady!

"Yes, Rock'n'Pano."

"Yes, yes… I heard." I was surprised, but there was not time for a social conversation. I was in pain. "If you and to talk to me about business or whatever, call me." And she gave me her card.

"Thank you… but I do need a hospital…"

We said goodbye even there. We took a shortcut to the hospital with Johnny taking the two bikes while I protected my finger allegedly broken and limp. Johnny was frowning.

"You should release a book of how an accident can become a business opportunity." He said in disbelief tone.

Two hours later, I was sitting at a stretcher waiting the doctor to fix my middle finger. It had a little fracture and the bone was dislocated. The doctor came. Looked again the x-ray. Examined my throbbing finger, took my hand and smiled. In the next second I screamed. Load. I think I also saw stars. A few tears later, I was back to the street on the way home with the middle finger of my left hand immobilized. Johnny carried the two bicycles in silence. The path wasn't that far, but all these events made us get home close to noon. And I had work to do.

"I'll never provoke you on a bike again." Johnny seemed more sad and tired than me.

"Johnny..." I sighed. "I'm not angry with you, but if you continue the whining, I'll kick your beautiful ass."

We ordered Chinese and had lunch in silence, I took a shower before work and study, and Johnny took his path. I wasn't mad at him, yet I wouldn't want to see him in the next three days because everything that happened was complete his fault. Or rather, in the next two days since I couldn't stay more than this without seeing or speaking to him.

So I went to the office and began to work and study.

After hours on the books, I decided to rest. My body was tired, my finger was throbbing and my mind sleepy. How nice it would be sleeping soundly in the next few hours.

But my cell phone rang and the desire I had was to throw it out the window. I didn't think it was Johnny because he knows that wouldn't be good to talk to me today. I naturally bet on Rachel since my parents liked to call me at lunchtime. Or maybe it was Quinn. One more touch and I gave up playing guessing. It was Brittany.

"Britt?" My voice was hoarse, tired. "Hi."

"_Hi San. I was missing you so much and decided to call you._"

"I'm glad you called. How is Rob?"

"_Rob is great. He's leaving my mother crazy running up and down the house. He's is huge, San. And so strong!_" She silenced and I didn't know what to say. "_You never called._"

"I'm really missing you, Britt. Not that it happened something exceptional. I think I've been just busy these days. My classes just started and I'm already has tons of books to read. But that's a boring subject… What are you doing?"

"_Mike's agent got me a model job. I'll take some photos with bikini for a small local brand. Isn't it cool? I will also make a film, but will only appear my body._" Is it body double? I didn't know what to think.

"Britt, is not that I am not happy about it, but bikini and body double?"

"_It's just photos, San, and it's good and fair money. I have a son to support._"

"What about Jim? Isn't he paying Rob's allowance as he promised?"

"_Jim pays what he promised and he came to see Rob at least once a week. He is a good father, San. I can say some bad things about Jim, but not about this. And I need to think on my career. Teaching at Mike's dance studio is great, but I need more. I want more opportunities._"

I wasn't convinced. Not that it was against her doing modeling jobs, but I had my prejudices. Body models were those that made the sex scenes because the lead actress didn't want to, right? And who would be such a photographer? Not everyone was a Quinn Fabray. And if the photographer is some pervert who just want to fuck later?

"_San? Are you there?_"

"Yes, Britt, I am. Do you need anything? Are you in trouble because of the money?"

"_I'm not in trouble, San. I have no problem with money right now. Why do you think so, if I had said no?_"

"Sorry Britt. I was just surprised by the news."

"_You sounded jealous._"

I sat on my bed. It was a provocation?

"I just want your well-being."

"_If you wanted this, come to Los Angeles. You're my best friend, but you're never here. You've never come to see me._"

"I... I... I..." In all the time that Rachel was in Los Angeles, I haven't stepped a foot there once not even to visit my sister, or Brittany, or Mike or even Prancy Smurf.

"_Why do you never come to see me?_" She insisted

"I will." I shot without really thinking about it.

"_When?_"

"Next weekend."

"_Don't make promises you can't keep, San._"

"You have every reason to doubt me, Britt. But I'm not letting you down this time."

"_Really?_"

"I swear!"

"_I'll wait for you._"

…

**Life in L.A**

**(Rachel)**

Santana was in front of me with guilty expression. She was carrying a backpack and her purse. Her head was down. That's what I called joy to visit her sister for the first time in Los Angeles. To me, Santana wouldn't have come. Not in such circumstances. Not to fall into a trap created by Brittany. Didn't she see it?

"It's bizarre to see you two holding hands in the middle of the airport." Santana said quietly.

Yes, sometimes Mike and I do it to insinuate that we were together and there are always paparazzis around in LAX. Mike and I go out together in some parties and some people began to insinuate that we were dating. We decided to go along with it and Mike is now my first informal beard.

"You look great, San." Mike was the first to hold her and I was idly observed the two exchanged shy smiles. "What happened to the finger?"

"I fractured it in a bicycle accident last Saturday." She looked more shy than usual.

"In the streets?"

"Central Park." She finally looked at my face. "Thank you for coming to get me."

"There's still time for you to flight back for the sake of your relationship."

"Gee, Rachel." She frowned. "If I knew you would be so hostile from the first second, I would never have called you. No need to host me if you don't want. I can go to a hotel."

"I won't give you this pleasure, Santana Berry-Lopez."

"I'm not a child and you aren't my mother." She said softly, conscious and slightly threatening.

"It doesn't mean I will sit still while you do something stupid." I also said in low and firmly.

"Sorry to interrupt." Mike grinned. "But we're in an airport and there is a girl pointing a cell phone towards us. We should go." He said as he put his arm around my shoulders.

I went into the actress mode and put my arm around Mike's waist. We started walking towards the exit with Santana slightly behind. A fan stopped us. He smiled sheepishly and asked for a selfie. These were things that interested me. If people believe that I was dating Mike, so I could marry Quinn in peace.

Mike tried to establish a friendly conversation with Santana along the way. He said that he haven't speak to Quinn since the day she began filming the TV show, but he knew that Johnny's book was almost out. Mike told he will come back to Ohio for Thanksgiving and said her sister was pregnant at 17, put she will keep the baby. He also gave us some news about our old friends from Glee Club.

I knew some by my own.

Kurt use to give me news about the former glee club. Finn Hudson lived in Detroit while he was doing some classes and workshops on mechanics. He dated a girl who, as Kurt said, resembled my body type. After a year, he went back to Ohio to administer Burt's machine shop, and he's also helping Mr. Shue in the new glee club. It was disturbing. Blaine sings in small bars of Los Angeles. Sometimes Kurt guests in these shows. I met Blaine only once and he seemed fine. Mercedes was the one who had contact Sam: he graduated in Physical Education in Utah and he's an assistant coach of football. I know that Santana and I completely lost touch with Noah, but he is in the business of selling accessories for swimming pools. Mike still had some contact with Matt, who became owner of a restaurant in Miami. Tina and Lauren were still in Lima, and apparently Artie was studying Advertising in Cleveland.

Glee club seemed like a family at that time, but it was just a temporary dysfunctional family with some promiscuous relationships, stealing boyfriends and girlfriends from each other. Just a part of the group stayed together: Mike, Quinn, Santana, Mercedes, Kurt, Brittany and I. And what is more ironic was that the frenemies of the group were the ones who stayed together as a couple: Quinn and I. I still couldn't believe that we will marry.

Quinn insisted on the idea of telling the news to our parents at a dinner in Ohio. I thought that nothing could be more appropriate than New York, after all, this was the city where our story began as real couple. I couldn't wait to see the surprise on their faces. Even Santana didn't know yet. We will get married first at the registry office, and then we will have a small reception for family and close friends. We didn't decided yet where we go in our honeymoon. Quinn wants Paris, but I think the time of year is perfect to visit somewhere in the Caribbean, where we would have a bit of sun and heat.

"Half penny for your thoughts." Santana said as we were alone in the house and it made me come back to remember the question: my sister was in Los Angeles because of Brittany.

"Nothing important." I locked the front door and pointed towards the stairs. "There isn't much to show here. The house is small but very functional. The rooms are upstairs, the only suite is mine and you will occupy the room next mine. The bathroom is simple, as you see, the house hasn't much furniture, but that's okay because I spend most of the time alone here..." Santana let her backpack on the floor and went up the stairs. I carried her backpack and put it in her room while Santana was checking the house. "When will you see her?"

"After lunch." Santana looked at her watch. It was almost noon.

"I have an event to attend at five and I will come back late. It is a promotional thing, something I have to do for the show and for me."

"I thought you were here to shoot a movie, not to party." She tried to provoke me, but I ignored her. Santana knew very well that a thousand and one things happened in the actor's life: events of various kinds, need for promotion, photo shoots, interviews, and sometimes even classes to help in a particular role: those are all part of the job. "Anyway... is it a gala party?"

"Not at all, but I will do hair and makeup, and wearing a Carolina Herrera. Mike is going with me. His agent is happy with the sudden appearance of him on gossip sites suggesting a dating with me."

"Huh?" Santana frowned.

"Mike has few good job opportunities, but he wasn't so recognized by the mainstream media. He isn't taken seriously. Slings and Arrows become a popular HBO series recognized for the quality of the cast. Do the math."

"Don't be arrogant and boastful, Rachel."

"I'm not! Unfortunately that's how Hollywood works: image and marketing generate box office. It's not only about talent, although this is fundamental to long-term career. Mike deserves much more than minor characters in B-movies released directly in DVD. He will never be taken seriously if he is not called to better productions. His womanizer ways doesn't help. I am seen as a serious actress, my contacts are better and so as my agent and publicist. Do the math."

"Ok." Santana crossed her arms. "But your talking is somewhat disturbing. It doesn't seem the little girl who grew up dreaming to be a Broadway star. This story of you being in Hollywood sometimes sounds strange to me."

"Things change, people change, and different opportunities come. You said once that you were going to marry a NFL player and keep Brittany as your mistress."

"I was 16, and had to keep my cheerio façade." She defended herself. "And I didn't know what I wanted from life that time."

"We were 16, Puckerman was in the football team and Brittany was basically your mistress. I dreamed of marrying Finn Hudson and attend at Julliard or in the best drama school in New York. Look what happened to us! Things change, Santy. Our goals change."

"I think it's called grow up and move on, right?" She sat down on her bed. She seemed fragile.

"What's going on, Santy?" I sat next to my sister and put a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"I love Britt, Ray." She blurted. "But I also love Johnny for real, and for the first time in my life I'm scared to death to ruin a relationship because of Brittany."

"Then why did you come anyway?"

"Because I feel that Britt is alone and sad, and it hurts me. And because I didn't want to feel like a coward in not coming just to protect myself."

"Sometimes I wish you were more selfish, Santy. You're bitchy and a little petty. But hardly selfish."

"You've always been selfish one..." I pushed her gently and she gave a small smile.

I hugged my sister before I go to the kitchen and fix anything to eat. There were frozen vegetarian lasagna, fruits, vegetables for cooking… I decided that the frozen lasagna was the best option and put it to defrosting and heating in the microwave. I packed the counter with the plates and cutlery, prepared a juice jar and within ten minutes we had a meal. I tried not to be so critical with my sister after her confidence, but I still thought visiting Brittany was a mistake. Now it was up to Santana do the right thing, whatever that was.

My sister got ready and I drove her at Brittany's house. Believe or not, it was the first time I was going there. Brittany was in my house on two occasions and I met her once at Mike's studio, but I've never got interested in knowing where she lived. It was a small blue house that looked neat. I didn't want to be rude, so I go to her door just to say "hi". Brittany received us with a broad smile. Rob, her son, was stuck in her legs looking curious of those two strangers at the door. He was a beautiful boy: lightskin, curly black hair, adorable light brown eyes, and Brittany's chin.

"Hey little guy!" I said to Rob.

"Say hi to Rachel, honey." Brittany encouraged her kid to interact with me.

"Hi!" He said shyly and run into de house.

"He's adorable, Britt." I was charmed by him.

"Yeah. Rob's a great kid. Hey Rach, won't you come in?"

"Oh no, Britt. I just drive Santy."

"Rachel has a party to go." Santana said without delicacy. "She needs to get ready to be in the useless celebrities sites in a few hours."

"Oh." Brittany frowned. "It's a shame that you can't stay a little bit."

"Another time, Britt."

We hugged Brittany and I come back home wishing sense to Santana. My phone rang when I got in the car: Quinn. I put my cell on the cradle, put my headphone and answer her.

"Hey beautiful." I said while driving.

"_Hey babe, where are you?_"

"Driving back home. I just left Santana in Britt's place."

"_Oh… I can imagine how happy you're now._"

"You know me too well."

"_Your sister is a grown up woman._"

"But she's still my sister and I care about her… anyway… what are you doing?"

"_It's lunch time._"

"Now?"

"_We just finished a complicated scene and our day schedule delayed. I'm feeling we will finish filming today late night!_"

"At least you have a dormitory to stay there."

"_No, thank you. I'd rather catch a ride with somebody in the studio and go home. One time at the dormitory was more than enough._"

She told me about her bad experience sleeping in the dormitory, sharing it with a smelling guy and a woman who passed all night snoring really load. But the part that Quinn complains must is that the dorm is small for four people (two bunk beds) and has no conditioning air.

"I will spend a week in New York before going to New Mexico for the second round of the filmings." I changed the subject. "I talked to Emiliano yesterday and the team will have this small gap before breaking camp there."

"_Wonderful. When are you coming?_"

"I'm not sure yet. Maybe next Thursday. I want to take to advance some things about our marriage. We need to find a place for our reception and try to find someone to perform the ceremony since Rabi can't because you didn't convert to Judaism… and because it's a same-sex marriage…"

"_But you said your Rabi would come to our ceremony._"

"Yes, he will come just to say some worlds because he knows me since I was a baby, and he was daddy's personal friend. But he can't perform the ceremony itself."

"_Oh, right… I understood wrong. My bad. Do you know what? You should tell Santana before the dinner. At least she can help us with the reception stuffs. She's your bridesmaide but she doesn't know it yet! Come on, Rachel._"

"I will tell her soon. I just didn't find the right moment."

"_Ok, that's your business but I bet your right time will be the worst possible._"

"Have a little faith on me."

"_I do, babe. But I also know you. Well, at least our date didn't change… yet._"

"December 10th."

"_December 10__th__. Babe, I need to go eat something. I'm starving._"

"Ok. Call me tomorrow."

"_Tomorrow?_"

"Today is that party and Mike will go with me as my beard."

"_Tell him to keep his hands away from you._"

"It's just a showmance for the paps. And, for the bright side, I can be paped now with you and people will just see us as BFFs. What it's also true."

"_I know, Rach. Just, keep it safe. Mike is my friend and I don't want to kill him._"

"You won't. We're safe, Quinn. And we're going to marry."

"_Yeah. Rachel… I need to go now._"

"Ok. Love you."

"_Love you too._"

She was used to the routine of doing hair and makeup at home before heading out to any red carpet event. And if I had this routine, it was because Slings and Arrows was a series of critical success with good ratings. We weren't the HBO champions, but the numbers guaranteed seasons. Slings and Arrows won a Golden Globe for best comedy series (in our case: dramedy) and best actor, won the SAG's best comedy series and had some Emmy nominations. We were good and it was so nice to be recognized by a great show.

My dress was quite jovial and elegant at the same time. I put heel shoes, my hair was loose, without my bangs, and light makeup. I swore that after Slings, I would have myself another hair cut. I can't change it much by contract and, if I do, the produces must approve it first. It sucks sometimes. I see Quinn cutting her hair whatever she wants, and she's always beautiful. It's hard not to be jealous. I looked myself in the mirror, my team was cheering, saying I was great. I was indeed wearing something safe and easy to please the police fashion. Not that it was fundamental. I just didn't want to be pointed on those worst dressed lists.

Mike arrived in his new car to take me to the party. I had to pass him the agenda set out by my publicist: red carpet, photographers, two-minute interviews. Things we were already well trained to do. The only fun part about it was to be with Mike and then meet up with some friends. My friend was in fine sport and perfectly suited to the event. Mike wasn't Kurt, but he likes to dress well nowadays. He still makes modest finances compared with other C-List Hollywood actors, but he managed enough money to set up a great dance studio where he employed Brittany, and bought a small but nice apartment in West Hollywood and a freaking awesome car. I think he was doing well, but he could do better nad our fake bearding romance may help him. It's definitely helping me since diverts attention from people of my relationship with my "best friend" Quinn Fabray.

"Hey Rach." He gave me a friendly kiss on the cheek before I get in the car. "You're lovely."

"And you are charming as ever."

"Ready to party?" He grinned.

"Ready to work, actually."

"It's still a party and we can have some fun."

"I think so."

"So let's show them."

Mike and I walked throw the red carpet hand in hand always with a smile on our faces. No kisses at all, but people didn't seem to mind as long we say "yes, we're dating". Mike and I only parted when photographers asked me to pose alone. They would use those pictures for sites that evaluated fashion and everything. Thanks to the good Kurt, I was great and doing much better than several of my colleagues. The party was promoted by HBO for its sponsors and some of the actors under a contract must attended, as well some actors who just need to show up, like Mike. It's business and part of my job, but Mike had a point: we should have some fun.

The DJ started playing some great songs. After nearly an hour around, taking pictures and talking to people, greeting sponsors, drinking and eating canapés, my job was mostly done. Mike took the cup of wine of my hands.

"Let's do a small show, Rachel Berry-Lopez."

He started dancing around me. One good thing about being Mike's partner in a dance floor is that I don't need to do anything. If I stay just stood like a door, that's all right, because he dances so well that no one will look at me. But I loved to dance. Of course I'm not as good as him or Brittany, but I wasn't so bad. Mike and I danced three songs and we saw ourselves as the center of attention. It was great. Mike was the best beard in the world: he was one of my best friends and the only two major changers was that we were going out together more often and we told people (press) we were dating. Sometimes we walked hand in hand and we didn't have to kiss in public to sell our story. It's perfect and Quinn wasn't freaking out.

Mike and I left the party laughing to the car. When we reached the safety of our driving, he smiled at me like someone who was a little high because of alcohol. I was also slightly high because of some wine glasses.

"It was fun." He said.

"It was."

"When will we do it again?"

"Oh, Mike. Do not make me think now"

"Will Santana still be in the area tomorrow?"

"Yes she will."

"We should hang out with the old gang: I, you, San, Britt, Kurt, maybe Blaine."

"It's a great idea. I'll call you."

"Right."

I kissed Mike's cheek face before getting off the car and got in my house. It was almost midnight, my feet were killing me and I needed a hot bath and bed. As I entered with my pair of shoes in hand, I found Santana sitting in the couch with her glasses on and concentrated on the computer screen.

"Hey." She looked at me. "You're early. Didn't you have fun?"

"It's late, Santy." I collapsed in the couch besides her. "Don't you get tired of working?"

"I'm just answering an important email. That woman in the bicycle accident wants an exclusive collection with wedding theme."

"That's..."

"Amazing, right? If I make a deal with this woman, my business will have an upgrade. Maybe I will finally have money to hire that manager and, after that, rent a space for the official office."

Rock'n'Pano isn't a top internet business, but my sister makes enough money to pay all her stuffs and half of our condo fee. I think that if she didn't have so much commitment to college and signed that contract with Mr. Weiz, it was likely that she would turn Rock'n'Pano of a small empire. Her business is doing well, although Santana couldn't devote much time. At least she has zaide to help her.

After shower, I was already more relaxed by the warm water effect, I put on an old pajamas and saw that my sister was already in her room, but still working. Santana acquired the ability to type so fast that sometimes I was impressed with the sound of keys. It was like a newsroom or something. I took a decade to enter a simple sentence compared to the speed of Santana's fingers on the keyboard.

"I'm done."She closed the computer and put it on the nightstand. "How was the party?"

"It was nice. Sponsor event... The photos should be already uploaded at some webside." I lay down besides my sister. "How was your day with Brittany?"

"It was good..." Santana shifted on the bed and rolled over to face me. "She... she have plans to do a dance workshop in New York by Mike's expenses."

"Really?" I said with irony. "So, I suppose it's just to improve her already awesome dance techniques."

"Yes. Aren't you paying that coach to improve your acting skills to the movie? And I think you're already very good."

"It's different?"

"How is it different?"

"I'm not a recently divorced looking for things to do in the city where my first love is living in." I said in a heartbeat. "She didn't choose you that time."

"It was my fault…"

"It wasn't, Santy! You were living your life and she was living hers. She chose L.A and be close to her family. Now that she was a single mother, she starts looking for you again? No way!"

"It's not like that…"

"Say that nothing happen between you and Britt today. That you didn't cheat on Johnny." Santana stayed quiet for a moment and I closed my eyes. I just want to see my sister happy, and she is happy with Johnny! I know she loves Brittany and she always will do, but Brittany hasn't brought anything but angst to my sister's life.

"We kissed." Santana finally said. "Kiss Britt is like magnetism, the most natural thing I could do in my life. Kiss and hug her is easy, natural, simple."

"Please, tell me there is a but."

"But spending all the afternoon and part of the night with her make me realize about some stuff."

"Like what?"

"She's a mother, and I'm a single college girl living in New York."

"Go on."

"I love Britt, Rob is a great kid, but I'm not ready for her, Ray… I can't give her what she needs, and I realized that I love Johnny for real. I've never felt so bad about cheating on a guy because of Brittany. I love her and I love him… I wish I could have both."

"Like back in high school?"

"Oh no. I've never loved Puck. He was just a safe booty call when I was craving for a good fuck and Brittany wasn't around. And I used Puck for popularity. What I feel for Johnny is love, Ray, and I've never stopped loving Brittany after all."

"But you can't have both."

"That's why I'm choosing Johnny."

I hugged my sister and we stayed a little bit in silence, cuddling on her bed.

"Santy…"

"Hum?"

"I proposed Quinn. We are getting married on December and you're my bridesmaid."

"WHAT?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Finally Engaged **

**(Rachel)**

I was laughing at the little dance that Quinn was doing. She was having a good time in personal and professional lives. The series in which she works was ordered to a full season, I had no longer work to do after the Slings and Arrows and movie filming. The third season debuted with the biggest ratings of the show. It was almost certain that there would be a fourth season. I hadn't received the phone call yet, but I was hopeful. Fourth season meant renegotiation of contract values. Santana would solve this, especially now that she had lawyers supporting her. In all, I only had small commitments as a photo shoot for a magazine and two appearances on talk shows to promote Slings. I was also reading film scripts. If it were up to Josh, my agent, I would work non-stop. I don't know. In my first year of marriage I wanted to stay home as much as possible, so I thought to prioritize Broadway opportunities.

"I love this song." She continued to dance her little steps.

"You're such a dork, Quinn." I threw a pillow toward her. "And you should help me clean up the room. In a little while, our parent's flight will be landing."

Judy would come on the same flight of my parents and Beth, but we would have to get her because she doesn't have money to stay in a hotel and Quinn didn't let me pay for it. The plan was to host Judy right here at home. Quinn bought yesterday a folding mattress to put provisionally in the studio-office.

Although it's not yet officially, Quinn had moved in since I returned from Los Angeles to New York. She has spending all the time she could here with me and it didn't bother me at all. On December 10th, we are going to get married!

"Come dance with me." She pulled me and tried to get me into the rhythm.

"Quinn..."

"Come on Rach." She insisted. "This song is so good..."

I danced with her for thirty seconds, which was the time the song lasted. The radio station amended with another one that was slower. Quinn pulled me to stay close to her body and kissed me while we moved throw the sweet lullaby song. I noticed that she was calmer in those two weeks since I came back. Maybe it was the combination of hard work and therapy on Fridays.

"Have I told you I love your new haircut?" She said seductively.

"You said it well last night."

I cut my hair at shoulder height for the first time in years. Quinn said I was like a 16 years old girl. Her caresses became warmer and I had to wake from Quinn Fabray's charm before she threw me on the bed and do... stuffs. Therefore, I pushed her gently.

"Clean up the room. Your mother. Our engagement dinner." I said the most important tasks of the day.

"Right." She pouted.

"We can divide the jobs. You can go to airport to pick up your mother and say hi to my parents while I'm going to Astoria to do the grocery shopping for our dinner."

"Why Astoria?"

"Because Liceu's is still the best shop to by organic products, and it's cheaper."

We finished our room (it was so good to talk in those terms again) and got dressed to go out. Some of Quinn's clothes were already in my closet and her space was reserved. She would bring her things slowly, but it was mostly clothes, books, CDs and the photography equipment. Quinn put on a simple dress, almost too simple, the cardigan that I gave her and her old boot. I know my fiancee didn't like me to be so invasive about that sort of thing because it messed with her pride. Quinn didn't have much money in her pocket and thinking of increase her salary in Bad Things it's a hard bargaining. But there comes a point that we must interfere. I didn't like seeing someone once so proud that can no longer dress as before. I will definitely drag Quinn for a bath store as soon as possible. But not today. Before leaving, I went to the office and found my sister sitting Indian-style on the chair while concentrated in some papers, making notes.

"Columbia?" I leaned against the desk.

"Rock'n'Pano." She muttered. "I need to hire someone to help with sales control and stay in touch with zaide on production. And also to talk to certain customers. I can't do this anymore. It's a lot. The problem is that I can't hire qualified people with a great curriculum." And showed one to me. "Look this salary requirement! I just can't afford these people."

"I can help."

"I know you can, but I don't want to. My business, my money, my problems."

"You sound like Quinn. What will you do?"

"Hire someone green is what I will do. It will be an intern that I'll teach how to manage this shit."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. And I closed a deal with Gabriela Buck to provide her custom napkins and tablecloths."

"The PinkyBriders' owner? Santana, this is great."

"Yeah Ray. It's not much money, but it will great to have her as my client. And she agreed to make your reception."

"Are you serious? I called her company but they said my weekend was already full."

"Of course I'm serious! She made an exception and will send a small part of her team to your wedding. Gabriela doesn't have problems on working with nondisclosure agreement and since your reception will be small, you will talk with her on Monday to make a deal. Of course, you will pay everything!"

"Santana, this is… oh god! This is awesome! Thank you, thank you!" I hugged her. I was so excited.

"I don't agree with you marring right now. I still think you and Quinn should wait a little longer, but I got your back."

Santana argued with me the day I told her about my wedding. She thinks that Quinn working in New York and I having a contract to stay several months filming in LA is a huge problem. And Santana thinks that Quinn isn't emotionally ready. Despite her opinion, my sister supports my choices and this is what matter to me.

I took the car keys and Quinn and I went down to the parking lot of our building. It was on the second basement of three levels. Santana drove the car in that dimly lit maze with fine skill, but I wasn't a driver as good as her and had a particular curve that I needed to stop, reverse, and go on.

"We could use that your mother is here and do some shopping with her. What do you think?"

"Maybe."

"You need a new dress. And boots. Maybe some heels."

"Hum…"

"Nobody said here on buying in expensive stores, Quinn. But you need to renew some of your wardrobe. Since you moved out, you had barely enough money to eat. Now it's different. It's painful seeing a Greek goddess like you dressing so basic."

"I know you came back from California more fashionist and I attribute this influence on Kurt, but the way I dress now bother you that much?"

"It's not like that! Of course not! Except... what's wrong about wanting to see you dressing better?"

"Do you think I don't have a mirror?" Now she was hurt. "Rachel, I know I'm not dressing with your expensive clothes, but I try to be presentable with cheaper clothes: the ones I can pay for. I'm not going to be offended if you give me some expensive gift, but I will if you don't see our marriage as a partnership. I don't want to see you paying my stuffs. I want to see you building a life with me."

"I'm sorry. My mistake."

My survey must have hurt her, otherwise the last half of the way to the airport wouldn't be so quiet. Quinn got out giving me a peck on the lips and left without looking back. We would make amends later because at that moment I need to continue the agenda of the day. I went to my favorite market and lost my time enjoying the fruits of the season and fresh vegetables. Liceu's also sold vegan and natural products such as seeds, brown sugar, flour and whole grains. They also sold a great tofu, but if I bring tofu to home and put it on the table, Santana would throw me out the window. She hated it almost as much as soy protein. Gradually I was convincing to stop eating red meat at least. In fact it was working. She ate more chicken and fish lately, and she's learning to eat rabbit meat, as she like to say. I had no hope that my sister would turn a vegetarian like me, but at least she already ate more healthily.

Quinn, on the other hand... I provided a struggle at home against the bacon eater.

In consideration of Santana, I bought a fresh white cheese with a little salt. She loved to eat this type of cheese at breakfast. Quinn? She loves provolone and all those yellow cheeses. I smelled apples, bought some berries, as blueberry (my favorite), blackberry (Santana's favorite) and Cherry (Quinn's favorite). The strawberries didn't seem good enough. I decided to complete the fruit basket with bananas, peaches and plums. I bought nuts to make a savory appetizer mix before dinner.

The main course was roasted salmon with spicy apricot (Rom's recipe, which he taught me how to do), raw salad, white rice. Mine was roasted eggplant parmesan rollatini. So good, and I know that Shelby would like to try it. Even Quinn liked eggplants.

I called to my sister for her went down and help me getting the shopping. To my surprise and happiness, she did what I asked.

"How many people will you having for this dinner?" She was astonished at the number of bags.

"Seven, since Johnny is traveling."

"I thought you were cooking for an army."

"No grumbles, Santana."

I wasn't sure to where Johnny was. His book was released and there was this tour at smalls literary fairs he was doing. Santana said where he was, but I didn't pay much attention and forgot. What I did know was that, because of this, Johnny would be absent in my engagement dinner.

"Won't you send me to the kitchen to help you, right?" She asked fearfully. "Because I'm busy today."

"The only thing I want from you, Santy, is be patient with Judy, for the love of the good God. That's all."

"I treat her well when she isn't pissing me off."

"And don't work after dinner in the office because she will sleep there and we need to leave everything tidy."

"I hate it." She rolled her eyes and paid particular attention to one of begs "You bought nuts."

"Don't you dare."

"Oh, fancy wine." She ate a nut and took a look at the wines.

"You can't open it."

"I read that we must drink a glass of wine per day."

"So you're drinking only a glass at dinner."

"But I read it last week and according to my calculations, I'm eight days without drinking any, what means I need a bottle of these only to myself to compensate."

"Santana!" And she smirked. Of course she was teasing me as always.

"You're too easy, Ray."

"Please, behave!"

"Do you think I would mess with papi here? I'm not that crazy."

I advanced things in the kitchen organization, mixed nuts and put in pots ready to serve. Santana still filled her hand with some and went to the office to finish her works. Then, Quinn arrived with Judy. I took a deep breath, put the best smile on my face and did a good reception to my soon to be mother in law.

"Rachel, how are you?" She hugged me briefly.

"I'm fine, Judy, thank you. How was the fly?"

"It was wonderful. Your parents are always a pleasant company and Beth is increasingly beautiful and smart. What a beautiful girl you had, Quinnie. I can't wait for her to feel the urge to start calling me Grandma." And there went all the attention back to Quinn.

"Come mom. Let's leave this handbag to the room where you will stay. It's not much, but I'm sure you will feel more comfortable than in my old apartment."

"That apartment is not very hygienic, Quinnie, I keep saying this, but it seems that you insist on living with that dirty boy..." And the voice of Judy Fabray was lost as they walked toward the office.

I started to count down to see Santana overflow. Sure enough, the next minute my sister broke into the kitchen with wide eyes and holding her breath.

"How many days she'll stay here?" Santana whispered screaming.

"Another two days." And came the expression of horror and couldn't help but laugh.

"It's not funny!" She kept screaming whispering and growled loudly. In revenge, she stole more nuts and left the kitchen. I think she went to her room, or whatever. Maybe she was looking for a window to let out a scream.

One thing Santana's reaction exemplified well: it seemed that we Berry-Lopezes were doomed to run away from the Fabrays, except for Quinn.

"Oh, Rachel, your office was amazing after redecoration." Judy invaded the kitchen and Quinn came along. "The last time I came here it was just a mess of little room. You did a good job."

"To be fair, my sister redecorated the office. I even wasn't here."

"Oh. I think I should praise her then."

"Yes, you should." I forced a smile as Quinn gave me a quick hug from behind and kissed my cheek.

"So… where do we start?" Quinn asked me.

"You can sauté the rice and then assembly the salad?" I said trying to be extra gentle given the presence of Judy. "I've already made the spice apricot to swab on the salmon..."

"Salmon?" Judy interrupted me. "I know wonderful recipes of salmon."

"Truth." Quinn said throwing her head slightly to one side.

"I'll make the recipe that a friend of mine taught me."

"Really? Because I know one recipe with lemon and orange that is divine."

I stared Quinn with some desperation. Judy 'helping' me in the kitchen wasn't what I had in mind. The worst was seeing Judy opening the refrigerator to look for lemon.

"Quinn." I said almost-breath. "Didn't you say you wanted to go shopping with your mother?"

"Did I?"

"Yes, honey."

"Yes, I did." She forced a smile.

"Nonsense!" Judy rolled her eyes. "We can do it tomorrow and your rice will burn, Quinnie." My fiancé run to put some water while Judy stated cutting the lemon. "I better help with dinner, because I am faster in the kitchen and hours urge."

"But you are our guest!" I insisted nearing despair. "And it wouldn't make sense to make you leave Ohio to New York just for fix this dinner. This is on us. In fact, the seasoning is a Berry-Lopez secret and Santana is coming help me with everything."

"Didn't you tell Quinn to assemble the salad?" She tried to get me a lie.

"Nonsense." I let out a grin. "It was a lapse by the routine. Quinn had told me she was dying to walk with you."

"Did you say that?" She asked her daughter.

"Of course I said!" Quinn evaded and smiled at her mother.

"You can't leave all the work in your girlfriend's hand, Quinnie."

"She can and will." I insisted. "You are at the most amazing city in the world. Go have fun with your daughter."

"If you say so. What do you suggest, Quinnie?" It was impressive ease that Judy had to ignore me back attention exclusively to her daughter. It was like I was a maid who was there and had little importance.

I left the lemon cut in the corner because I rather would use it to make the salad sauce. If there was anything I could do well were sauces. Quinn said she would give a ride with her mother with some glare, but what I could do if there was a crazy woman in my kitchen ready to spoil all the planning that I carefully done?

"Santy!" I yelled for my sister without leaving the kitchen. "Santy!" I yelled again.

"What?" She replied without appearing.

"I need your help."

"And I have to work!"

"Santy!" I screamed in tearful tone.

"What?" She finally appeared in the kitchen and her expression softened when she saw me upset.

"Help me?" I said in a small voice. My sister sighed and washed her hands with soap.

"Don't ask me to stay here all the time."

"All right. Cook the rice and assembly the salad?"

She mumbled, but helped me. I opened a bottle of wine and put some music. I should be doing this with Quinn, but Santana and I were a good team. We learn to be in New York. We could work in harmony, unlike what happened when we were teenagers in Lima, Ohio, when the time to share the kitchen with Santana was as part of a war. Half hour later the rice was cooked, the fish wrapped in aluminum foil, the salad was done, eggplants were prepared to go to the oven. The final touch was to set up a fruit basket on the table (Santana stole some blackberries), put a nice table cloth, dishes, dining cutlery and glasses. Yes, I was proud: that was a beautiful and fancy table for an engagement dinner with parents.

It was the time of Quinn and Judy back from whatever they were. As the time was advanced, I decided to take a shower in my sister's bathroom despite her complaint. But we only have a little restroom near the office for guests and I had to allow Judy to take a shower in my bathroom. At least, my sister's suite was a safe haven. And in terms of practicality, truth be told, my sister's bathroom was much better than mine.

I dressed a navy blue shorts with discreet plaid. It was beautiful. Kurt said I had great legs and couldn't be afraid to show them off. I've never was. I put on an elegant white shirt and heels. My hair was loose. It was so much easier to fix it with a shorter haircut. My makeup was minimal and I asked Santana to wear daddy's Jamaican bracelet: I wanted something the belonged to him in that important moment.

"This is mine." Santana said. "Give me back after dinner."

"Chill! I won't steal it from you."

"You better or I'll ends you."

"You're out of breath." Quinn hugged me when she saw me. She was on a light yellow dress and low heels. She was simple, almost too basic, but I loved her for being that way, though.

"You are always beautiful." We kissed.

"Stop this grip on my bedroom door!" Santana interrupted us. All right. She had to use her room.

Judy Penn appeared dressed as Judy Fabray, the ex-aristocratic woman from a small city who still wants to maintain her pose. Santana was still in the shower when my parents arrived.

"Hola, mi estrellita." Papi gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Rachel!" My mother hugged me.

"Where's Santy?" Beth asked.

"In the bath." The little brat frowned and sat on the couch sulking because my mother would not let her into my sister's room.

It was curious: as much as I accept the adoption of Beth and the idea of her being part of the family, I couldn't see her as my sister. Maybe because I didn't have much contact with her. Maybe because Beth prefers Santana and ignores me. Perhaps because the idea of adopting Beth came after the second rejection of my mother when the New Directions lost the Regionals for Vocal Adrenaline. Maybe because Quinn used the pregnancy to stay with Finn in McKinley when I was in love with him. I liked Beth, don't get me wrong. Her presence never bothered me and I treated her very well. But see her as a sister? That was another story. Beth was nothing more than the daughter my future wife had with Noah Puckerman that, by chance, was adopted by my parents.

I put some music to filling the atmosphere and served the nuts, cheese and wine. The adults were chatting on the couch, while the two children of the house, Beth and Santana (because my sister had this ability to transform into a kid when she was with one), were playing in the corner with a card game. Beth also avoided talking with Quinn and even look at her.

We talked about the things we did in the last few months. My father was interested in the movie I filmed in New Mexico. He was there almost at the same time to an international congress in Albuquerque, but the filming took place around Santa Fe. It was fun and the fact Emiliano, the director, is Mexican was a good guarantee of non-offensive production. Another interesting aspect was that half of the movie was in Spanish. All I know was that my father would be proud to see me using my Spanish on the movie screen. Especially since I had no sex scenes. My mother commented that he didn't see the episodes of Slings and Arrows that had any nudity or sex scenes I am in. He would lose only five episodes of the series so far.

My father was doing very well at the hospital. He liked the idea of not having to be chief. He said that was good even seeing patients, doing his job and then go home or devote some time to research on surgery in diabetics. My mother was also excited about the OSU's glee club. She said that her students were basically from performing arts who wanted to improve their singing on pop music and show tunes and have some fun. She said it was a delight to deal with talented people for acting: that makes everything easier than coaching teenagers. They had weekly classes to discuss subjects and twice a week they devoted themselves to glee. That's nice. I was glad she was happy, but my profession made me too skeptical about Broadway dreams: too many wanting it so bad, but only a few can make it. And none of the classes you attempt or all the talent you have won't work if you don't have a little bit of luck… and contacts. I had luck because I was in the right place at the right time. I could keep going because of my talent and skills, and I built a solid career because my agent is an asshole full of contacts, and I knew how to do the social part of my job. Shelby is a better singer than me, maybe a better actor, but she didn't have any luck. How many other great actors and artists were in the middle of the road serving in cafeterias, becoming strippers, or in jobs that they hated? At least Shelby was smart enough to plan an alternative way that enabled her to keep working on music and drama. If Shelby asks me to talk with her students, I would say "don't stop believing!" but inside I know there aren't place to everybody.

Oh yeah. And there was Judy Fabray talking about Lima's society. Of course she changed reality to not feel underneath.

When dinner was ready, Quinn gave me a little help to set the table and I resisted the temptation to take a picture of my masterpiece. Both salmon and eggplant looked fabulous. I asked everyone to sit. My father was at the head, as always. Even in my house he had that honor. On one side were Judy, Beth and Santana. On the other: my mother, me and Quinn. The wine glasses were filled again, but Beth who had juice. It was when I asked attention.

"Before we have our meal." I said loudly and held Quinn's hand, which also rose. "I would like ... WE would like to reveal the reason for calling you all here in New York." I started to sweat and needed take a deep breath. I was suddenly nervous. I exchanged glances with Quinn and she nodded. Maybe she should continue the speech.

"Well..." She grinned. "As you all know, me and Rachel are in a relationship for several years. There were many ups and downs over the time and even a temporary break in between. These things only showed us how much our commitment to each other is strong. I met Rachel when I was still a kid. A saw her playing soccer in the park with other kids, being the little brave goalkeeper, maybe the worst one, but still brave."

"So true! She sucked playing soccer." Santana said and we allow ourselves to laugh a little.

"A pity that I could never belong to that gang of kids, but I can say that moment was one of those defining ones that sometimes we have in our lives. It all started with a desire to be part of the gang of kids that used to play in the park. It became a secret admiration when I heard Rachel singing at those lame videos she used to post in the Myspace, then came my secret crush and then came love. Liking Rachel was something so important that made me recognize and accept things about myself." Quinn began to fight with some tears. "Rachel has always been unknowingly one of the most important people in my life. We are together for just over five years and our desire is to add more years to that account. We want to win personally and professionally together, we want a family, have kids and raise them, being side-by-side to the best and to the worst, making golden wedding anniversary and have a wonderful party with our children and grandchildren. This is our purpose in life..." She wiped a tear before continuing. "That's why Rachel and I decided that this is the right time to formalize our union and so we sat you, our family, to give us your blessing."

There was a moment of shock by our parents.

"Is this an engagement?" Shelby had jaw down. She took a deep breath, left the table and sought her purse. I held my breath at that moment and began to cry in advance for rejection. Shelby took ten bucks in the wallet and handed it to papi. "Your father and I speculate on what might be the reason of your calling." She wiped a tear quietly. "Juan said it might be an engagement. I thought in a more professional celebrating. So we bet ten dollars."

"Papi?" I was looking for a word of true support.

"Well hija." He also had a lump in his throat. "You have always been and will always be mi estrellita. It's very hard for this old man know that you've grown so much, so beautifully, and was no longer under my wing. You and your sister did it earlier than I desired. I fought so hard against it, but you grew up Rachel. You all did and wrote such a beautiful story here in this town..." He paused again to wipe the tears. I was almost crying too. "I couldn't be here, but I am eternally grateful to Quinn to stay at your side, fighting by your side all this time, for loving you. Thank you so much Quinn. I... I... I can have my beliefs, but they don't matter now. If what you want is marry Quinn, so I can only extend my hand to you both and give my blessing."

I ran to hug papi. We said nothing, but being with him, feeling my father's body heat, it was the best thing in the world. When we free ourselves from each other I don't know how long after, I received a hug from my mother while my father was hugging Quinn. I finally received the affection hug of Judy.

"Take good care of my daughter and be happy." That was Judy blessing and I just nodded. Of course this was one of my life goals: take care of Quinn and make her happy by my side.

Even Beth came to hug me briefly. She did the same with Quinn. The last hug I received was Santana's. I know my sister's opinion and also that even being against marriage itself (not my relationship with Quinn), she would never fail to support me.

"Thank you for always being by my side, Santy."

"That's what sisters do, especially twins."

Quinn took a little box inside her dress pocket. It was where were our engagement rings. She put my ring on my right hand finger and I did the same to her. Then we kissed and toasted with everyone.

The dinner was a delight. The problem is that in the midst of all this confusion and concern, forgot to plan the dessert. But it had gelatin and an ice cream pot in the freezer.

"It was quite a surprise, Rachel." Shelby said as we both were washing some dishes at the insistence of her while the rest of the family chatted amicably in the living room.

"You don't look so happy." I said firmly, but with certain sadness inside.

"I'm just... worried. You were already engaged once with the same person in inappropriate circumstances and things went wrong." She referred to drunken marriage proposal and the also drunk public announcement in her wedding reception.

"It's a mature decision this time. No alcohol involved, I assure you."

"Still, I think you're too young to make a commitment of this size. You're only 22 with a growing career!"

"At 22 you're already a mother!"

"At 22 I was here in New York working on my dreams, and you should do the same."

"I'm already living my dream. And do you know what: in the end of the day it's just a job!"

"Think about it, Rachel. You will travel around the world if you build a career in Hollywood, and Quinn will hardly leave her career to accompany you. You will have to deal with constants trips and long distances. That's why you shouldn't have this kind of commitment yet!"

"I'm not afraid of commitment, Shelby. Don't worry, I didn't inherit it from you."

"What do you mean?" She stopped washing dishes, turned off the tap and looked at me.

"You rejected me and Santana and even my father because you're afraid. Don't you remember? Don't you remember the first time you denied papi's proposal and left him miserable? Or the day you dismissed me in Carmel after using Jesse St. James to approach me, since Santana was too badass and difficult to deal with?" She didn't answer. "This fear of commitment, this cowardice I don't have."

"I have my reasons, reasonable reasons, to not accept your father proposal in the first time. And I also have strong reasons to get away from you and Santana at that time."

"What strong reasons?"

"It doesn't matter now."

"Yes, it does!"

"Rachel… don't."

"Tell me, or you really are a coward without any reason."

"All right! You asked for it." She put on her best HBIC face. "Hiram asked me to stay away from both of you. And Juan was there, ask him. I was confused, frustrated, and your daddy said if I didn't fix that situation, he would comply with the terms of the contract and sue me. Their marriage was in a difficult moment. Hiram knew that Juan and I kissed once when I was pregnant, he knew that Juan and I were attracted to each other since that time and those sparkles never ceased to exist. He wanted me far, far away from your lives. I'm sorry Rachel. I know Hiram was a wonderful father to you and especially to Santana, who put him in an altar, but he wasn't a saint. I know I freaked out the first time we'd ever talked. I wasn't emotionally prepared. But the way I rejected you in the most abrupt and mean way after that was because I had to. It was better to everybody to me being the villain. So don't call me a coward!"

"This is not true."

"When Hiram had his fatal accident, why Juan called me to help? Don't you ever think about it? Because he started talking to me behind Hiram's back! That's why."

"Were you having an affair since that time?" I crossed my arms and tried my best to not raise my voice.

"No, we weren't. Again, Juan didn't cheat on Hiram. But I can affirm that their marriage wasn't that good. Juan we I started to talk again. He helped me with some stuffs with Beth… medical stuffs, and we became friends. When Hiram passed away, Juan and I got closer and we started dating a little before you and Santana moved out. Believe or not, this is true and you asked for it."

We were silent. We could hear the sound of conversation coming from the living room: Santana was telling something funny and everybody was laughing. It was hard to breathe after listening to Shelby's version of that time. Daddy consoled me when Shelby rejected me. Santana has always been cold and tough about it, but it was horrible for my esteem. And daddy hugged me, brought me a glass of water, said we could go to New York to rest our heads and even thought that maybe I should see a therapist. If Shelby wanted to keep in touch, I always thought daddy would be the first to encourage since within certain rules. But that story now... if this is really true ... I didn't know what to think.

"Santana can't know about it ever." I said.

"Agreed."

"Excuse-me, but I need to finish the dishes alone. I need this time, okay?"

I didn't leave the kitchen immediately. I used the door that connect with the service area. Then I opened the access door to the foyer and went directly to my room without having to go into the living room. I refused to cry, but I had to wash my face to pull myself together. When I returned to the living room, I made a point of sitting on the armrest where was Quinn. I put my arm around her shoulders. Quinn smiled completely unaware of what happened in the kitchen while Santana was telling some funny story about our childhood. Shelby was sitting next to my father, holding hands with him. I didn't know what to think, but it was certain that I needed time to digest this story.

It was almost midnight when my parents went away. I went to the kitchen finished tidying up as Quinn placing the sheets on the folding bed in the office to her mother. Santana went to her room to avoid helping the cleaning.

"Mission accomplished." Quinn hugged me from behind and kissed my neck before placing the other apron and start helping me clean everything.

"Your mother?"

"She drank so much wine that she will sleep all night." She ran her hand up my ass. "We could celebrate the success of the night right here, don't you think?"

"You're insatiable, Quinn Fabray."

"Don't you like it?"

"I love It!"

She smiled and kissed me passionately despite our aprons and my rubber glove. Quinn was too happy and I wouldn't wreck this time telling the confrontation I had with my mother.

"I love you, Rach. Am I dreaming?" She pinched herself and pouted. "Ouch! No, this is very real."

"How about we leave this cleaning for tomorrow?" I said seductively. "But we should celebrate in our bedroom. I don't want to have any surprises with your mother."

"Okay."

Quinn took off her apron and my rubber gloves. Then she lifted me up and carried me to our room, bridal style. She closed the door with her foot and put me on the bed. She was shining, I swear. She climbed on the top of me, adjusted her weight against my body e we started our heavy making out session that soon would progress to our making love session. She has this power to make me forget. Without even knowing that I needed, Quinn used these powers wonderfully.


End file.
